
macaroni
Member
- May 27, 2025
- 14
I feel like there's no-one else who would understand this, or let me talk without interrupting like you guys :(
I've lived with my parents for the past three years. I love my parents, they're fantastic and they don't even charge me rent. I buy and prepare my own food, pay my own bills, etc. So it's like just having roommates, where we all do our own thing.
Except we're not. Because my room isn't mine. I have the airing cupboard in my room, so they come in whenever they need to put clothes in there. They always knock and wait for me to answer, so they're not barging in, but still, it feels superficial almost. Like its a constant reminder that this isn't my room, it's theirs and they're just letting me stay here. All my knickknacks, souvenirs from the holiday I took this year, evidence of my hobbies and interests etc. are all packed in boxes and stored under the bed, in the wardrobe, just away from view. Because I can't put any of it out on shelves or on display because my parents' stuff is already there and they won't let me move it. Every time I go to cook in the kitchen, they seem to be there. I hate people being in the room when I cook (i have an eating disorder). Anything I cook can't need to be stored in the fridge or freezer, or use any ingredients that need to be kept in the fridge or the freezer because there is no room for my stuff in there - its packed with my parents' stuff. I ask for some space and they agree but eventually their stuff ends up pushing mine out anyway. I survive on snack foods. My bedroom has become my entire house; my kitchen, my living room, and my bedroom. I feel sufforcated.
I can't get a partner, because I don't want to live with my parents when I'm dating - I want independence. The place I live in has terrible public transport and I can't afford a car, so I'm limited in where I can go. My whole life feels like a standstill.
I need a better job, one that doesn't make me want to kill myself, then I can move out and breathe. Sounds simple, sounds obvious, but no-one will hire me. I have two degrees, so minimium wage jobs won't hire me because I'm overqualified. But the jobs that want degrees won't hire me because I don't have professional experience. I can't get professional experience because they won't hire me. I chose a degree that was so broad (History) I hoped it would qualify me for a lot of jobs. But it turns out no one wants a history degree. You want to be a history teacher? You need an education degree. You want to be a curator? Better get a curating degree. Archeology? Archeology degree, loser. Working in archives? Get an archival degree. There's so many degrees I didn't even know existed.
I've spoken to employment specialists who have looked over my CV, cover letters (which I tailor for each job description with proof of how I fit the skillset), and interview techniques. They laugh and say I've made their job easy, because I'm doing everything right. So why won't they hire me? They just shrug.
The recruitment people won't tell me. "We can't offer feedback, because we have so many applicants." Great, so maybe I'm making some giant mistake everytime and I'll never know. Or maybe its just me. I've done everything right - I went to reputable universities, got high marks in my degrees, aced every quality assignments my minimum wage jobs offer, adapt quickly to everything, have never been involved in crime. I don't drink, or smoke, or do drugs. I interview well, use the STAR method and fantastic real-life examples and I don't stutter over my words. I'm a perfect fucking candidate so what is it about me that's so repulsive? I don't know. They can't tell me. Too many applicants.
There's a job I just applied to. They've told us that it'll take months before the job would actually start. By my estimates, there's about 1000 other candidates. I'm perfect for the role. It's in a city I would love to move to, because the rent is affordable. I want this job so badly. And its not like my dream job, it's just a job that could give me everything. But if I don't get it, I don't think I can carry on. Writing all these cover letters, applying to all these jobs and being ghosted or - if you're lucky - receive a rejection email that says they can't tell you why they rejected you.
I'm tired. I want to live. I want my own place, my own independence. I'm not asking for the lottery. I'm not even asking to fucking buy a house, because I know I'll never be able to do that. I want to rent a place.
Why does no job want me?
I've lived with my parents for the past three years. I love my parents, they're fantastic and they don't even charge me rent. I buy and prepare my own food, pay my own bills, etc. So it's like just having roommates, where we all do our own thing.
Except we're not. Because my room isn't mine. I have the airing cupboard in my room, so they come in whenever they need to put clothes in there. They always knock and wait for me to answer, so they're not barging in, but still, it feels superficial almost. Like its a constant reminder that this isn't my room, it's theirs and they're just letting me stay here. All my knickknacks, souvenirs from the holiday I took this year, evidence of my hobbies and interests etc. are all packed in boxes and stored under the bed, in the wardrobe, just away from view. Because I can't put any of it out on shelves or on display because my parents' stuff is already there and they won't let me move it. Every time I go to cook in the kitchen, they seem to be there. I hate people being in the room when I cook (i have an eating disorder). Anything I cook can't need to be stored in the fridge or freezer, or use any ingredients that need to be kept in the fridge or the freezer because there is no room for my stuff in there - its packed with my parents' stuff. I ask for some space and they agree but eventually their stuff ends up pushing mine out anyway. I survive on snack foods. My bedroom has become my entire house; my kitchen, my living room, and my bedroom. I feel sufforcated.
I can't get a partner, because I don't want to live with my parents when I'm dating - I want independence. The place I live in has terrible public transport and I can't afford a car, so I'm limited in where I can go. My whole life feels like a standstill.
I need a better job, one that doesn't make me want to kill myself, then I can move out and breathe. Sounds simple, sounds obvious, but no-one will hire me. I have two degrees, so minimium wage jobs won't hire me because I'm overqualified. But the jobs that want degrees won't hire me because I don't have professional experience. I can't get professional experience because they won't hire me. I chose a degree that was so broad (History) I hoped it would qualify me for a lot of jobs. But it turns out no one wants a history degree. You want to be a history teacher? You need an education degree. You want to be a curator? Better get a curating degree. Archeology? Archeology degree, loser. Working in archives? Get an archival degree. There's so many degrees I didn't even know existed.
I've spoken to employment specialists who have looked over my CV, cover letters (which I tailor for each job description with proof of how I fit the skillset), and interview techniques. They laugh and say I've made their job easy, because I'm doing everything right. So why won't they hire me? They just shrug.
The recruitment people won't tell me. "We can't offer feedback, because we have so many applicants." Great, so maybe I'm making some giant mistake everytime and I'll never know. Or maybe its just me. I've done everything right - I went to reputable universities, got high marks in my degrees, aced every quality assignments my minimum wage jobs offer, adapt quickly to everything, have never been involved in crime. I don't drink, or smoke, or do drugs. I interview well, use the STAR method and fantastic real-life examples and I don't stutter over my words. I'm a perfect fucking candidate so what is it about me that's so repulsive? I don't know. They can't tell me. Too many applicants.
There's a job I just applied to. They've told us that it'll take months before the job would actually start. By my estimates, there's about 1000 other candidates. I'm perfect for the role. It's in a city I would love to move to, because the rent is affordable. I want this job so badly. And its not like my dream job, it's just a job that could give me everything. But if I don't get it, I don't think I can carry on. Writing all these cover letters, applying to all these jobs and being ghosted or - if you're lucky - receive a rejection email that says they can't tell you why they rejected you.
I'm tired. I want to live. I want my own place, my own independence. I'm not asking for the lottery. I'm not even asking to fucking buy a house, because I know I'll never be able to do that. I want to rent a place.
Why does no job want me?