
Samsal112
Student
- Dec 20, 2021
- 179
This is definitely a pity post, and I realize how childish it sounds. Normally, I am not one to want to off myself because of lack of friends or unrequited love, but with being suicidal for three years, little things begin to pile up.
My mom made both my siblings (we're all adults, so this sounds even more childish) their favorite meal with birthday cake and ice-cream for their birthdays. Today, I got a cake only because she had a left over one in the cabinet from my brother's birthday, and she forgot the ice cream. She tried making it up by using my brother's left over cake decorations to decorate the cake. I not only didn't get asked what meal I would want, but she made something I would never eat.
She doesn't understand why I am angry. Which makes sense considering she didn't understand why I was upset when she didn't make it to my BA graduation, supported me through my PhD, or caught that I was becoming ill due to the antidepressants and benzos. She can't understand that while the rest of the world puts me last EVERY SINGLE DAY, she makes no effort to put me first for one day.
My birthday is representative of my life; I have had to share this one day with Father's Day and my grandfather's birthday all my life. I couldn't even get one fucking day to myself.
The one person I wanted to say "Happy Birthday" didn't and of course I didn't get many "Happy Birthdays" all together today.
My mom made both my siblings (we're all adults, so this sounds even more childish) their favorite meal with birthday cake and ice-cream for their birthdays. Today, I got a cake only because she had a left over one in the cabinet from my brother's birthday, and she forgot the ice cream. She tried making it up by using my brother's left over cake decorations to decorate the cake. I not only didn't get asked what meal I would want, but she made something I would never eat.
She doesn't understand why I am angry. Which makes sense considering she didn't understand why I was upset when she didn't make it to my BA graduation, supported me through my PhD, or caught that I was becoming ill due to the antidepressants and benzos. She can't understand that while the rest of the world puts me last EVERY SINGLE DAY, she makes no effort to put me first for one day.
My birthday is representative of my life; I have had to share this one day with Father's Day and my grandfather's birthday all my life. I couldn't even get one fucking day to myself.
The one person I wanted to say "Happy Birthday" didn't and of course I didn't get many "Happy Birthdays" all together today.