I don't even want dreams, I don't want anything related to consciousness. I keep having experiences that would probably make most people think about their hopes for their future, you know like big milestones in their lives, but have just cemented for me that I absolutely 100% do not want and could not handle a future. I don't have a healthy body to fall back into if I "recover." There is no recovery for me. This is my baseline and it has been since the day I was born....it all seems incredibly obvious now. What a terrifying fucking place this is. I am leaving very soon hopefully.
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I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, I feel like I'm ready because I have absolutely zero hope. The thought of finishing school, getting a job, getting married, having kids...none of it appeals to me whatsoever. It's never even been in the cards considering how my health is. I feel like the longer I stay here the worse the anticipation gets. I think the greatest gesture of self love I could ever give myself is a peaceful, painless death on my own terms before things get even worse..
Baskol1
No life, no problems
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,030
My vision becomes blurrier everyday too. What is happening? Why are all my fears coming true? Am i cursed? Yes i think i am. All my fears in life seem to have become true. Do you have the same?
woxihuanni
Illuminated
- Aug 19, 2019
- 3,299
Dreams are terrible. No peace even if sleep. There is this half second when I wake up before I fully realise what deep shit I'm in, and then it hits. Good morning!
sadsadinfp
Member
- Aug 18, 2019
- 54
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