StarryStarry
Cat Lady
- Oct 25, 2021
- 749
Well, here I am again. I'm sure you all are getting pretty tired of hearing from me (yes I am having a pity party). As each progresses, I feel more and more relieved with my decision. I don't want to live this life any more. I destroy any relationship I have because of my depression. Instead of being quiet about it, I am the one who wants to talk about it; who wants someone to say it will be okay. But of course I know it will never be ok. My plans are in place. I feel terrible about leaving my sweet cat behind, but I have no choice - I can't take her with me and I can't find a home for her. I am hoping that the people at the apartment will find her a home. I am very excited about seeing my little girl again. It has been so long. I am going to buy the biggest bunch of flowers and put them on her grave. She has no headstone because "he" wouldn't allow me to put on what I wanted to. So it says he is her beloved fahter - he is the one who killed her. I think I have a full proof plan. If it doesn't work, I'll be so brain damaged that I won't know if I'm alive or not. The desert night will consume me. I'll look up at the stars and slowly close my eyes. Peace will overtake me and I'll be gone. No more pain, no more tears, no more heartache - just peace.
