its been awhile.

[posec]

hi, i haven't been on here in awhile. things were just starting to get better for me till i don't even know what happened. the bad thoughts just keep coming back. i sat down the other night and realized, there's no point in my life. my whole family hates me none of them want to speak to me. i do the same things every day. i wake up , stare at a screen, then go to sleep. its not much but its so tiring and exhausting living. why am i like this? why am i so lazy? why cant i just make my parents happy? what's the point in living if my life isn't going anywhere. i have no actual friends. once i finally think i have a friend they leave. my mom tells me I'm mentally unstable maybe she's right. all i can think about is slitting my wrists wide open and laying there till i bleed out. i want to kill myself so bad. i just don't know how and i don't have the guts too. i might as well just get it over with though. it wont matter how much it hurts after I'm dead. if i kill myself maybe it will lift the weight off of everyone's shoulders of how annoying i was. i cant stop thinking about my assault. i can still feel his hands all over me no matter how many times i shower. its been almost 4 months so like everyone says, i should just get over it right? my life isn't gonna get anywhere, ill never achieve anything or be anything. in 4 days, on 11-11-21 I'm going to kill myself and i hope that will make my mom and dad happy. they hate me so much and i hope maybe this will make their lives a little better knowing they don't have to deal with me anymore.

 

[whywere]

HI! Your post made me so sad and sorry for you.

You and me even though we are a lot of decades apart can be twins as my "parents" back in the 1960's and early 1970's were hell period. They called me "the mistake" and kicked me out at 18 and I never heard from them again, their choice.

Now with that said, I struck out into the world in 1974, yes a little while ago, and I will not sugar coat anything, it was hard at first, BUT..BUT after I got my pins under me , then i took off and life was good.

My heart bleeds for you as no one EVER should have to be bullied much less by a family member.

With everything said, I 100% know that there is a great future for you, and you will shine and do great. Through all the decades that I have seen, I have seen and experienced seeing folks who people thought were not going to do anything and a few years down the road they were PHD folks, judges..etc

I never ever will give up on you as you are a good friend on SS, I 100% know you will do great in the years to come.

You are a star in the sky which will get brighter with each pass day, be kind to yourself and pm me if you so wish.

Friends always,

Walter

 

[yuyu1]

Swoulz, you deserve love, peace and healing. I'm really sorry you're going through this.

 

[damned]

maybe you are looking for the wrong place in your life. there is too many illussioned poeple thinking that our life as to be like this and like that.maybe you had to stop listening and believing the poeple says about what you have to do with your life.
i read your post..you have to open your mind,leave all illussion,do what you feel inside,as well as you have good intention.
don't believe about karma crap,it's half right and half wrong.it's why you have to focus of what's inside of you and what's are you will,want you want..
you have a goal to achieve here and not a goal that all poeple believe that is.
and,in life, there is always one step first to be ready to take another one.
maybe your not in a good environement,and surounded by poeple don't believe in you. it's not important,just have the force to toss these poeple,and let think twice about you. the most important is what is to believe in youself.
the life in a complex world and a complex maze.but your tought make thing happens in your reality.
the hard piece to happyness is to find how to masterise positive energie, and there is some law in few religious doctrine.
i don't know well what's you are doing,when you tell us,going on the screen,but you may concentrate to learn about those rules(carefull with google..fake, download pdf book via another search engine)
but what i feel and i think,it's poeple will come help you went to will be ready. ready to leave what you think that make you happy but it won't
you may just survive this way to reach the point of no return.
maybe we all have to choose something and someway we are hidding from us for generation trough general poeple's biavior.
good luck

 

[Blowba]

I wish I can comfort you with a hug cause the feelings in this post hit close to home for my younger self, I am sorry for what you are going thru

 

[posec]

HI! Your post made me so sad and sorry for you.

You and me even though we are a lot of decades apart can be twins as my "parents" back in the 1960's and early 1970's were hell period. They called me "the mistake" and kicked me out at 18 and I never heard from them again, their choice.

Now with that said, I struck out into the world in 1974, yes a little while ago, and I will not sugar coat anything, it was hard at first, BUT..BUT after I got my pins under me , then i took off and life was good.

My heart bleeds for you as no one EVER should have to be bullied much less by a family member.

With everything said, I 100% know that there is a great future for you, and you will shine and do great. Through all the decades that I have seen, I have seen and experienced seeing folks who people thought were not going to do anything and a few years down the road they were PHD folks, judges..etc

I never ever will give up on you as you are a good friend on SS, I 100% know you will do great in the years to come.

You are a star in the sky which will get brighter with each pass day, be kind to yourself and pm me if you so wish.

Friends always,

Walter

thank you so much for your kind words.

 

[Rational man]

hi, i haven't been on here in awhile. things were just starting to get better for me till i don't even know what happened. the bad thoughts just keep coming back. i sat down the other night and realized, there's no point in my life. my whole family hates me none of them want to speak to me. i do the same things every day. i wake up , stare at a screen, then go to sleep. its not much but its so tiring and exhausting living. why am i like this? why am i so lazy? why cant i just make my parents happy? what's the point in living if my life isn't going anywhere. i have no actual friends. once i finally think i have a friend they leave. my mom tells me I'm mentally unstable maybe she's right. all i can think about is slitting my wrists wide open and laying there till i bleed out. i want to kill myself so bad. i just don't know how and i don't have the guts too. i might as well just get it over with though. it wont matter how much it hurts after I'm dead. if i kill myself maybe it will lift the weight off of everyone's shoulders of how annoying i was. i cant stop thinking about my assault. i can still feel his hands all over me no matter how many times i shower. its been almost 4 months so like everyone says, i should just get over it right? my life isn't gonna get anywhere, ill never achieve anything or be anything. in 4 days, on 11-11-21 I'm going to kill myself and i hope that will make my mom and dad happy. they hate me so much and i hope maybe this will make their lives a little better knowing they don't have to deal with me anymore.

Have you considered that you will never make your parents happy, no matter what you do ?. Maybe they reflect their pain on you being the sensitive creature that you are. But it doesn't make you worthless. It makes you trapped in a a situation that is hurting. You love animals...right!?. Yep they give unconditional love. The right people can too. ❤

 

[MeltedJello]

I'm so sorry you had to experience this pain & suffering that pushed you to this point. I can never understand what it's like being assaulted since I haven't gone through that, so it must've been hell to experience that. Don't listen to people who tell you to get over it quickly. They're the ones who don't understand, because they aren't you, or don't put themselves in your shoes. What you experienced is traumatic imo, so please try to take as much time as you need to on yourself. I wish you peace, and hopefully better days :)

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is so horrible. Your feelings of wanting to exit are understandable when you are suffering so much. I understand it is hard to carry on when you cannot take anymore. I wish you the best with your plans, I hope you find the peace you are looking for.