elpurp
Member
- Dec 29, 2024
- 15
it's gotten a little better, i have found my smile again during the day for the most part. seems like as per usual, the nighttime is where that newfound love for myself goes to die. suddenly my two exes were flukes and i just got lucky.
a lot of porn and self harm has been happening recently as i doomscroll and hop between hinge and bumble even though nobody's matched with me for weeks. i think imma snack but i'm clearly an acquired taste to almost everybody.
i love my friends but it always feels like i'm such a nuisance whenever i vent about it and feel totally fine the next day. and it's so hard not to let it consume me and make a super rash decision like catching the bus off of a temporary feeling, even though i've wanted to off and on for years now.
it hurts a lot some days. i'm sure it'll continue to. but i will find her. she is out there. and my birthday is on monday so at least i'll be surrounded by friends who love me.
a lot of porn and self harm has been happening recently as i doomscroll and hop between hinge and bumble even though nobody's matched with me for weeks. i think imma snack but i'm clearly an acquired taste to almost everybody.
i love my friends but it always feels like i'm such a nuisance whenever i vent about it and feel totally fine the next day. and it's so hard not to let it consume me and make a super rash decision like catching the bus off of a temporary feeling, even though i've wanted to off and on for years now.
it hurts a lot some days. i'm sure it'll continue to. but i will find her. she is out there. and my birthday is on monday so at least i'll be surrounded by friends who love me.
