My, friends
Are all gone
My boyfriend while here in the flesh...is gone we don't even lay together...once a month sex if that.
My will to live is gone
My teeth , are almost gone...fuck it they are gone
My grandparents are all gone ... From dementia and death.
My body is all gone... All used up... By drugs..
My soul is gone
My heart has been stoped on with golf shoes
My.pets are almost all gone... And when they finally go will definitely be what I need to ctb...
But my.happiness... music, friends, late night car rides with people who you thought cared about you....maybe just.smokimg a blunt.amd.goimg.to.twco bell...
Gone
My money....people used a young closeted gay me for every drop....was.raped.and.sued the hospital for 50,gs.... When all said and.done when I turned 18 I got 29 grand... And I frivolously wasted it on weed...and drugs ....and heroin.... Because I hated myself....treated EVERYONE to EVERYTHING....people walked all over.me.and.took every cent.... Got me.addicted to drugs.... Partied and ruined.my.forst.apartment... and then just left me there....no love was shown to me... And the few friemds.thst did stick around left when I came out gay.... It caused me to leave a boy I care about.... My entire life.could of ....and should have been different....and when I think about this reality.... It makes me so fucking angry I could eat my iron Right now!....... But you know what... Everything goes away.... can anyone help me..... I really don't want to CTB by firearm and am immune to narcotics.... Id have to knock off a.hospital or something crazy....
But anyway I'm sorry I totally turned this in to word salad but know this.
My soul , body and.spirit , are gone, drug addled and tired.... I have no one.but a pretend abusive.boyfriend ...and a few ferrets that make me kinda happy.,... But other than that..... It's all gone
My YOUTH .....is gone.... I've gotten to live.to about ,30 and the last 15 or so years have had good moments but sucked.but really it's just been this last decade.... I'm over.it....
This post made me weep
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