Venting It was always going to be this way

[ultrasharpy123456]

There really was nothing I could do. I was always going to be poor, I was always going to be suicidal. I was always going to hurt people. It was always going to happen to me.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Could be.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Predeterminism

 

[Toxinebulaic]

In many ways, life writes your story for you. In many other ways, you decide what happens. For some people, they're given the option to be whatever they want to be from the moment they're born, and for other people, they're abused and shaped like clay into the perfect pot for other people to shatter, and by the time they're smart enough to do anything about it, it's too late.

I'm sorry you ended up with more of the latter than the former.

Recovery is something that makes me feel stupid just talking about it, and it's too deep a topic for me to fully describe in a brief sentence, but for what it's worth, things can get better. It's always difficult, it's always painful, and it always requires determination that many people don't have, but know that it's possible. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, even if the tunnel is a meat grinder.

Never forget that if you decide that you have no choice, the indifferent universe will agree.