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sadgirl9999

sadgirl9999

ready to go ♡
Jan 27, 2019
65
i'm not scared of an afterlife anymore, i welcome death and i do not want to be alive. i used to struggle with the permanence of death, but i've accepted it and it's all i want. i need the suffering to end. so why can't i do it?!! because i'm scared or messing up. my method is partial- it's so simple. a slip knot around my neck, tied to a steady ligature, and making sure nobody is around for ~an hour. why am i so terrified of messing up? because i'm incompetent. because i've failed with hanging before (was black out drunk though).

i can't decide on a ligature. i can't decide what type of knot to use on the ligature. i can't decide which room to do it in so i don't wake anyone up, or if i should even do it at home. i can't decide which type of rope. i'm scared my slip knot will come undone.

:( it shouldn't be this hard. if it wasn't for the chance of ending up brain damaged, i would already be gone. this is so awful. i don't want to be in pain anymore but i also don't want it to get worse after a bad attempt. :( :( :(
 
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VIBRITANNIA

VIBRITANNIA

lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
Aug 10, 2020
1,156
i can't say which ligature to use or what knot to use and things like that, but i can say that no matter how accepting you are of death, your survival instinct will always be there. it's something everybody has. being hesitant is only natural - ctb is a big decision. there's nothing wrong with that.
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,399
i'm not scared of an afterlife anymore, i welcome death and i do not want to be alive. i used to struggle with the permanence of death, but i've accepted it and it's all i want. i need the suffering to end. so why can't i do it?!! because i'm scared or messing up. my method is partial- it's so simple. a slip knot around my neck, tied to a steady ligature, and making sure nobody is around for ~an hour. why am i so terrified of messing up? because i'm incompetent. because i've failed with hanging before (was black out drunk though).

i can't decide on a ligature. i can't decide what type of knot to use on the ligature. i can't decide which room to do it in so i don't wake anyone up, or if i should even do it at home. i can't decide which type of rope. i'm scared my slip knot will come undone.

:( it shouldn't be this hard. if it wasn't for the chance of ending up brain damaged, i would already be gone. this is so awful. i don't want to be in pain anymore but i also don't want it to get worse after a bad attempt. :( :( :(

Have you looked into the night-night method, or compression method? They seem more reliable than hanging. I tried out partial a few times, and compression/tourniquet; I definitely won't be ctb using anything involving my neck.
 
F

FogFilledLife

Student
Jan 6, 2022
164
i'm not scared of an afterlife anymore, i welcome death and i do not want to be alive. i used to struggle with the permanence of death, but i've accepted it and it's all i want. i need the suffering to end. so why can't i do it?!! because i'm scared or messing up. my method is partial- it's so simple. a slip knot around my neck, tied to a steady ligature, and making sure nobody is around for ~an hour. why am i so terrified of messing up? because i'm incompetent. because i've failed with hanging before (was black out drunk though).

i can't decide on a ligature. i can't decide what type of knot to use on the ligature. i can't decide which room to do it in so i don't wake anyone up, or if i should even do it at home. i can't decide which type of rope. i'm scared my slip knot will come undone.

:( it shouldn't be this hard. if it wasn't for the chance of ending up brain damaged, i would already be gone. this is so awful. i don't want to be in pain anymore but i also don't want it to get worse after a bad attempt. :( :( :(
If you make noose put your hand in it and pull and yank as hard as you can in every angle you can think of. If it holds you should be good.

Tie multiple slipknots, not just one.
 
Efilismislife

Efilismislife

Psychopath family tortured me
May 25, 2021
642
Have you looked into the night-night method, or compression method? They seem more reliable than hanging. I tried out partial a few times, and compression/tourniquet; I definitely won't be ctb using anything involving my neck.
Why not??
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,328
It does make hanging sound easy when you hear about people who have succeeded with it, but in reality it is very difficult. All humans are programmed to survive, even know we want to die. The fear of failure is what holds me back from attempting personally. Hanging sounds like a horrible way to leave this world and no one should have to resort to risky methods in the first place. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit.
 
W

woknows

Experienced
Dec 12, 2020
264
Unfortunately, the state is actively working on limiting our options and a peaceful exit seems to be a luxury.
 

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