When I deal with situations, I find myself dealing with whole "emotional worlds" that come with them - it's like when you enter a hospital right? say you've been injured, everything just feels different doesn't it? your psychology switches. Here, I feel like I've stepped away from everything going on and it's on the course with death again - there's such peace in death for me personally, I think and feel so fondly of it. Here it's like I can talk about myself freely, without any worries, no planning, no anything -- I can truly just speak my mind, exactly how I feel, and even leave peacefully. I've found it so hard to exist genuinely in this world surrounded by constant anger and hostility accusing me and demanding of me so many things, leaving me confused -- "be authentic", I am being authentic... "respect XYZ" I am respecting it... just nonstop judgment. I'm exhausted, and don't feel I belong here anymore. It's so tiring. This world, this place, whatever it's becoming isn't for me. I disagree with so much here, so much people say how things work, what they define authenticity as, these strict adherences, I just can't stand it. It's so tiring. No more.
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