It is impossible to understand us until you become one of us

[iHateMyselflokay]

A year ago I was my old happy self. Excited for daily activities and hobbies and just life in general. If I heard about someone being depressed or suicidal I simply recommended meditating and pretended I understood them. I didn't. I am at about a 7 on the CTB scale and I was so naive to think such feelings are so easy to fix. I don't really see a light at the end of the tunnel and I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. Worst part is the regret as I am in this current state because of my previous actions and decisions. My point is no one will ever understand our pain until they experience it themselves. Fuck the pro lifers that have no idea what we are truly going through. God bless you guys.

 

[justsad&done]

A year ago I was my old happy self. Excited for daily activities and hobbies and just life in general. If I heard about someone being depressed or suicidal I simply recommended meditating and pretended I understood them. I didn't. I am at about a 7 on the CTB scale and I was so naive to think such feelings are so easy to fix. I don't really see a light at the end of the tunnel and I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. Worst part is the regret as I am in this current state because of my previous actions and decisions. My point is no one will ever understand our pain until they experience it themselves. Fuck the pro lifers that have no idea what we are truly going through. God bless you guys.

I'm sorry for your pain and sadness, but for what it's worth I can relate 100% to what you're saying...there was a point that I was happy, but then everything came crashing down in the worst horrible way. Nothing matters any more. I'm grateful to this site - people here are compassionate and kind:)

 

[Ghost2211]

I've also found that people that haven't walked our path can't fully understand it. I'm glad for them that they don't really know how this feels. They're better off not knowing, and they can't really help anyway.

 

[sadworld]

It's really nice to have this place. Only the people here are actually able to understand me.

 

[iHateMyselflokay]

I've also found that people that haven't walked our path can't fully understand it. I'm glad for them that they don't really know how this feels. They're better off not knowing, and they can't really help anyway.

I'm sorry for your pain and sadness, but for what it's worth I can relate 100% to what you're saying...there was a point that I was happy, but then everything came crashing down in the worst horrible way. Nothing matters any more. I'm grateful to this site - people here are compassionate and kind:)

I feel that when you say nothing matters anymore wish I could just waste away but my family won't allow it, they're even starting to get angry at me and telling me enough is enough but it's not like I can yet magically be happy again

 

[Ghost2211]

I feel that when you say nothing matters anymore wish I could just waste away but my family won't allow it, they're even starting to get angry at me and telling me enough is enough but it's not like I can yet magically be happy again

I'm sorry those around you are so insensitive.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

The beginning really hurt to read, I'm so sorry. You're right, it's incredibly difficult for others to understand how painful and isolating suicidality truly is. And, as you said, it's not something one can simply get over. It's a harsh, seemingly endless pain.

 

[Buffy5120]

You couldn't of said this any better I hope they read this too

 

[iHateMyselflokay]

Don't get me wrong as they care for me dearly, which is the only reason I haven't CTB cause I know I would leave them in the pain I am in. But at this point they're just annoyed of me

I'm sorry those around you are so insensitive.

The beginning really hurt to read, I'm so sorry. You're right, it's incredibly difficult for others to understand how painful and isolating suicidality truly is. And, as you said, it's not something one can simply get over. It's a harsh, seemingly endless pain.

Just as your name says I'm bitterly alive

 

[esse_est_percipi]

This (the title) reminds me of the South Park episode 'ginger kids'.
Cartman is basically an insensitive narcissistic manipulator, who makes fun of ginger kids.

Until Stan and Kyle use bleach, dye and tattoos to transform him into a ginger while he sleeps.
He then suddenly understands the plight and stigmatization of ginger kids, and campaigns for the recognition of more ginger rights.

This quickly becomes Nazi-like in tone though, with Cartman declaring the gingers a 'great race', and for the persecution of all non-gingers, but this is deviating from the main point.



(edit: I'm not trying to make light of depression or the OP's post, as I suffer from depression myself. I'm just being a bit flippant)

 

[iHateMyselflokay]

This reminds me of the South Park episode 'ginger kids'.
Cartman is basically an insensitive narcissistic manipulator, who makes fun of ginger kids.

Until Stan and Kyle use bleach, dye and tattoos to transform him into a ginger while he sleeps.
He then suddenly understands the plight and stigmatization of ginger kids, and campaigns for the recognition of more ginger rights.

This quickly becomes Nazi-like in tone though, with Cartman declaring the gingers a 'great race', and for the persecution of all non-gingers, but this is deviating from the main point.

View attachment 52104

(edit: I'm not trying to make light of depression or the OP's post, as I suffer from depression myself. I'm just being a bit flippant)

Hindsight is 20\20

 

[Sensei]

I'm still thankful to a psychiatrist who told me shortly after I developed a depression which turned out to be bipolar disorder that, "you must realize that no one can understand what you're going through unless they've gone through the same thing themselves."

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I'm still thankful to a psychiatrist who told me shortly after I developed a depression which turned out to be bipolar disorder that, "you must realize that no one can understand what you're going through unless they've gone through the same thing themselves."

That's an unusually modest and enlightened thing for a psychiatrist to say.

 

[Sensei]

That's an unusually modest and enlightened thing for a psychiatrist to say.

She's not unique. I come from a country where psychiatric care still works fairly well.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

She's not unique. I come from a country where psychiatric care still works fairly well.

I suspect you come from a nordic or scandinavian country then..

 

[Buffy5120]

This (the title) reminds me of the South Park episode 'ginger kids'.
Cartman is basically an insensitive narcissistic manipulator, who makes fun of ginger kids.

Until Stan and Kyle use bleach, dye and tattoos to transform him into a ginger while he sleeps.
He then suddenly understands the plight and stigmatization of ginger kids, and campaigns for the recognition of more ginger rights.

This quickly becomes Nazi-like in tone though, with Cartman declaring the gingers a 'great race', and for the persecution of all non-gingers, but this is deviating from the main point.

View attachment 52104

(edit: I'm not trying to make light of depression or the OP's post, as I suffer from depression myself. I'm just being a bit flippant)

Yeah people have to literally live through it to understand thats why arguing with them is a waste but yeah just like this tv show the only releastic way they can see what were going through is to maybe make them watch a movie or tv show starting from the beginning to now of how our lives turned out to be...I've noticed when people usually say something it goes out the other ear...but just like this tv show when people actually visualize and see what causes ctb they may understand...kinda like what instagram and twitter does

 

[Nymph]

Yeah I agree, you can't really understand someone unless you struggle with the same thing. People always pretend to understand me, it's so infuriating

 

[Sensei]

I suspect you come from a nordic or scandinavian country then..

That's correct.

 

[Nymph]

I'm still thankful to a psychiatrist who told me shortly after I developed a depression which turned out to be bipolar disorder that, "you must realize that no one can understand what you're going through unless they've gone through the same thing themselves."

I already like that psychiatrist

 

[justsad&done]

I feel that when you say nothing matters anymore wish I could just waste away but my family won't allow it, they're even starting to get angry at me and telling me enough is enough but it's not like I can yet magically be happy again

Yes! Exactly - my family tells me to "move on" "get over it" and "it takes time" - I'm tired of hearing those things. Some things are just too broken to be fixed. You're right, there is NO magic fix.

 

[AutoTap]

Yeh tried to explain this to pro lifers and they just go well I suffer too. It's like -.-