It is better to never exist at all.

[FuneralCry]

Every day I have these same feelings, wishing that this life was not a thing in the first place and wishing that I did not have to endure such a depressing and empty existence. To me, being born can never be a good thing as there is absolutely nothing positive about being alive and life is only suffering after all. It seems as though humans are brought into this world just to suffer, people live such unbearable and miserable lives for the sake of it. In a world like this, things can only get worse.

Me being born was such a terrible thing to happen. There is no reason for me to exist and there is no point to me being here. I was perfectly fine not existing until I was brought into this world. A world that is so cruel and unfair. Being alive really is torture and it is terrible how others want to deny people a peaceful exit.

At least it will end one day no matter what, I will finally be free from this life but I just wish that it was easier to get there. I wish that I was gone instead of writing about this yet again. I will always be tired, the tiredness that I feel is one that no amount of sleep can ever take away. To wake up each day and have to endure this life really is so painful. I envy those who pass away peacefully, they cannot think or feel ever again.

 

[GreenTree]

Life can be good for 99% of people in this world. I experienced a good life for 80% of mine. Things can change in an instant and lead too total hell. This hell outweighs the good times I had therefore I wish I was never born. However life is good for the majority.

 

[juraviel]

life isn't suffering. i mean yeah most everyday people experience mild levels of suffering throughout they day but most people are actually happy like 60-70% of people. they don't hate their life the way many of us do. it's easy to lose perspective when you hang out on here as much as you do

you just got dealt a bad hand. it is what it is. some people roll all 6's in their life some only roll 1's and 2's. how life is

 

[MicropBaldCurrycel]

life isn't suffering.

life isnt suffering but the potential to suffer is always there.
losing my mother was tragic and ruined my life.
theres also many bad things that happened.
tragedys can happen at any point in life.
some choose to ignore it and go on .

 

[ornitier199]

Life is pure suffering for me. Only fake happiness to get others to get off my back trying to 'fix' me.
Nothing genuine.

 

[hopelessdreams]

im sorry you're going through this. your feelings are totally valid and you're allowed to vent them here, don't listen to people telling you what you're saying isn't right.

ive seen a lot of your posts on this forum. at this point you've become a part of my SS experience. i take comfort in your words.

however, i don't know anything about your story. if you've already told it in a post and i haven't seen it, i'm sorry for bringing it up again. but what has brought you to this point? where do you live? you've mentioned a few times that you can't do anything given your circumstances.

i know you're not here for advice or comfort, you're only here to vent your feelings. however, if you ever want to talk or vent in privately to someone, feel free to message me. even if you just want me to listen. i hope you're having a day. not a great day, but just a day. getting through the day is hard enough already.

 

[Luna88]

das leben ist nicht leiden. Ich meine, ja, die meisten gewöhnlichen Menschen erleben den ganzen Tag über ein leichtes Maß an Leiden, aber die meisten Menschen sind tatsächlich glücklich, wie 60-70% der Menschen. Sie hassen ihr Leben nicht so wie viele von uns. Es ist leicht, die Perspektive zu verlieren, wenn man hier so viel herumhängt wie man es tut

Sie haben gerade eine schlechte Hand ausgeteilt bekommen. Es ist was es ist. Manche Menschen würfeln alle 6 in ihrem Leben, andere würfeln nur 1 und 2. wie das Leben ist

So true

 

[MisFortunate]

I know saying sorry does not really change anything for you but I am sorry. You did not ask for this misery. I'm also sorry you are not the only one on this forum who is suffering so horribly. I am one of them. I was a mistake. I wish death but terrified of the process of dying. I have SN but unable to summon the courage so I am trapped in this miserable life.

 

[Luna88]

I know saying sorry does not really change anything for you but I am sorry. You did not ask for this misery. I'm also sorry you are not the only one on this forum who is suffering so horribly. I am one of them. I was a mistake. I wish death but terrified of the process of dying. I have SN but unable to summon the courage so I am trapped in this miserable life.

Could be me

 

[FuneralCry]

im sorry you're going through this. your feelings are totally valid and you're allowed to vent them here, don't listen to people telling you what you're saying isn't right.

ive seen a lot of your posts on this forum. at this point you've become a part of my SS experience. i take comfort in your words.

however, i don't know anything about your story. if you've already told it in a post and i haven't seen it, i'm sorry for bringing it up again. but what has brought you to this point? where do you live? you've mentioned a few times that you can't do anything given your circumstances.

i know you're not here for advice or comfort, you're only here to vent your feelings. however, if you ever want to talk or vent in privately to someone, feel free to message me. even if you just want me to listen. i hope you're having a day. not a great day, but just a day. getting through the day is hard enough already.

Thank you for being so kind. I wish you the best.
To answer the question, I live in England. I do not have much of a story, but I am at this point as I find life to be unbearable and I simply prefer the sound of non existence. I do not see life as being worth living and I do not want to suffer until old age. I have no interest in living, there is nothing here for me in this world and I am not meant for this life. I have never wanted to be alive. The fact that life is a thing in the first place is so horrifying.

 

[hopelessdreams]

Thank you for being so kind. I wish you the best.
To answer the question, I live in England. I do not have much of a story, but I am at this point as I find life to be unbearable and I simply prefer the sound of non existence. I do not see life as being worth living and I do not want to suffer until old age. I have no interest in living, there is nothing here for me in this world and I am not meant for this life. I have never wanted to be alive. The fact that life is a thing in the first place is so horrifying.

you don't need to thank me for a few words, i want the best for you too.

but what has brought you to this point? (most) people have had a fatal point like a trauma, illness or chronic depression that they can point to for how they ended up here. if you don't want to share, i fully understand. but i'm curious to know why and how you ended up here.

 

[FuneralCry]

you don't need to thank me for a few words, i want the best for you too.

but what has brought you to this point? (most) people have had a fatal point like a trauma, illness or chronic depression that they can point to for how they ended up here. if you don't want to share, i fully understand. but i'm curious to know why and how you ended up here.

I think that life itself is enough of a reason to make me want to leave this world. Life is so horrifying and depressing. Even when I was very young, I found death to be comforting. There is not one specific reason as to why I am suicidal, being alive makes me want to die. I just do not want to experience life anymore. I could never want to live no matter what happens. I think that simply being conscious and having thoughts and feelings is torture. I just cannot cope with life as well. There is nothing enjoyable about living, and if I die nothing can hurt me anymore.

 

[hopelessdreams]

I think that life itself is enough of a reason to make me want to leave this world. Life is so horrifying and depressing. Even when I was very young, I found death to be comforting. There is not one specific reason as to why I am suicidal, being alive makes me want to die. I just do not want to experience life anymore. I could never want to live no matter what happens. I think that simply being conscious and having thoughts and feelings is torture. I just cannot cope with life as well. There is nothing enjoyable about living, and if I die nothing can hurt me anymore.

but what is hurting you so bad? have you ever had a diagnosis or such for your mental health? i can't imagine your parents not noticing how you're feeling if your implying you've felt this way since a very young age.

 

[September5th]

What's horrible in life is the prospect of it getting better. It sucks. You're fine being unhappy, but then something happens. You start moving your ass, being happy, living a dream... Just to end in the same miserable place as before. But now it's even worse since you know what it's like to lose everything. You can't go back to mediocrity, but you know you'll never be as happy as you used to be. You lose your will to wake up, talk to other people, clean your fucking room. All you want to do is die.

 

[FuneralCry]

but what is hurting you so bad? have you ever had a diagnosis or such for your mental health? i can't imagine your parents not noticing how you're feeling if your implying you've felt this way since a very young age.

I have autism and it is probably part of the reason why I struggle to cope with life. I have also spent a lot of my life being quite physically unwell and in general I have always had lots of anxiety about living. I just find life to be such a miserable, unpleasant experience. I have no future and I just do not want anything out of life. Everything about me being alive feels so wrong. I am so easily tired, upset and stressed out by everything.

 

[Lullaby]

What's horrible in life is the prospect of it getting better. It sucks. You're fine being unhappy, but then something happens. You start moving your ass, being happy, living a dream... Just to end in the same miserable place as before. But now it's even worse since you know what it's like to lose everything. You can't go back to mediocrity, but you know you'll never be as happy as you used to be. You lose your will to wake up, talk to other people, clean your fucking room. All you want to do is die.

I recently went through this. Things were really getting better and I was genuinely happy for the first time in years, then everything went to shit and those things that I had gotten were ripped out of my life.

It's really heartbreaking to finally get a taste of great things then you're back down at the bottom. It's like a sick joke.

 

[hopelessdreams]

I have autism and it is probably part of the reason why I struggle to cope with life. I have also spent a lot of my life being quite physically unwell and in general I have always had lots of anxiety about living. I just find life to be such a miserable, unpleasant experience. I have no future and I just do not want anything out of life. Everything about me being alive feels so wrong. I am so easily tired, upset and stressed out by everything.

i'm really sorry to hear that. i don't have a lot of knowledge about autism, but with the little info i have i can only imagine how you feel every day.

you've been on this forum for a long time. i'm assuming you're a young girl based on your profile and the fact that you're still with your parents (correct me if i'm wrong). do you have anyone- friends, family, therapist- that you can talk to about these feelings? i don't know what your situation is, so i'm going of off very little here, but i feel like we'll understand your situation a whole lot more if you tell us a little. again, please don't feel pressured. if you don't want to tell, you don't have to

 

[FuneralCry]

i'm really sorry to hear that. i don't have a lot of knowledge about autism, but with the little info i have i can only imagine how you feel every day.

you've been on this forum for a long time. i'm assuming you're a young girl based on your profile and the fact that you're still with your parents (correct me if i'm wrong). do you have anyone- friends, family, therapist- that you can talk to about these feelings? i don't know what your situation is, so i'm going of off very little here, but i feel like we'll understand your situation a whole lot more if you tell us a little. again, please don't feel pressured. if you don't want to tell, you don't have to

If 21 is young, then your assumption is correct. I do feel like I have been alive for a long time though, time passes too slowly. I do live with my parents. There really is nothing that can help me and talking does not change anything. Talking would do no good for me. I have already posted about my situation. I simply do not want to exist, but I try to cope with life by trying to pass the time until I fall asleep. That is why I make these posts on the forum, I am not really looking for any help, I am just waiting until I die, either through ctb or other causes.

 

[Sakura94]

I feel your pain today, cry

 

[Slimetae]

I feel you things never get better only worse been going downhill since birth just a psychological prison Suffer when I'm sleep awake just a miserable existence that repeats day to day with no energy for anything

 

[Tortured Existence]

I think that life itself is enough of a reason to make me want to leave this world. Life is so horrifying and depressing. Even when I was very young, I found death to be comforting. There is not one specific reason as to why I am suicidal, being alive makes me want to die. I just do not want to experience life anymore. I could never want to live no matter what happens. I think that simply being conscious and having thoughts and feelings is torture. I just cannot cope with life as well. There is nothing enjoyable about living, and if I die nothing can hurt me anymore.

Although I didn't feel this way for much of my life, I feel exactly like you describe now. It's because I awakened to the atrocities in the world.

It breaks my heart that you have never experienced a moment of joy in your entire life. Your suffering is profound. You're not alone although I'm sure you couldn't feel less alone.

Breeding is literally the most selfish thing humans can do. They're gambling with a life that cannot give consent, when the only known outcome is death, and probably a long one full of suffering.

 

[September5th]

It's like a sick joke.

That's exactly it. In my case, it felt like a planned joke. Seriously, I somehow lost a woman who truly loved me and moved to a city in the middle of fucking nowhere to study something I hate all within a week. Around the same time, the project I was working on as a freelancer collapsed and I lost a lot of money trying not to go crazy. I'm literally in the same place I was before things started to get great: no girlfriend, no money, painful college (no more online classes this time around, though). My life is a joke and April was the punchline.
It's all much worse now of course. I'm now truly depressed. It's not like I can't pretend to have fun. I just did that at a party. No, I'm dead inside. That's the reality right now...

 

[Capsaicin78]

I recently went through this. Things were really getting better and I was genuinely happy for the first time in years, then everything went to shit and those things that I had gotten were ripped out of my life.

It's really heartbreaking to finally get a taste of great things then you're back down at the bottom. It's like a sick joke.

That is why I am never gonna try to "live" again. Things will just fall apart again. And I certainly don't wanna spend 40 years or so being unhappy just for a couple of good days in between.

 

[deathbecomesus]

I feel the same way. My entire life has just been a never-ending battle. They always say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I always felt like one day I'd make all my suffering mean something - turn my life around and maybe become something great. Nah. I'm an unemployed loser with chronic illness. So what has my suffering amounted to? I've been used my entire life by everyone who has been in it and tossed aside once they have no more use for me. All of my suffering has been for literally nothing because my existence hasn't done anything positive to anything on this planet. So I was suffering just to suffer, it seems. There's no point.

 

[hopelessdreams]

If 21 is young, then your assumption is correct. I do feel like I have been alive for a long time though, time passes too slowly. I do live with my parents. There really is nothing that can help me and talking does not change anything. Talking would do no good for me. I have already posted about my situation. I simply do not want to exist, but I try to cope with life by trying to pass the time until I fall asleep. That is why I make these posts on the forum, I am not really looking for any help, I am just waiting until I die, either through ctb or other causes.

i fully understand and respect your point of view. sorry that i asked you about your situation if you've already posted about it. you're on of the few people here that i've seen that is constantly suffering. and you're correct: life can be dreadful, painful, excruciating and meaningless. my heart aches for you because you haven't had a single moment of joy in the 21 years that you've lived on this planet. i can tell you nothing else then i'm sorry.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

It varies by person, but for me, I agree. I wish I never existed. My life has amounted to nothing, and even excluding arbitrary terms of value, I just flat out don't like living. It's a hassle, and stress and pain lingers far longer than happiness for me.

To those that enjoy life, I truly hope they continue to see the beauty in existing. I wouldn't wish this apathetic despair on anyone.

 

[rationaltake]

It varies by person, but for me, I agree. I wish I never existed. My life has amounted to nothing, and even excluding arbitrary terms of value, I just flat out don't like living. It's a hassle, and stress and pain lingers far longer than happiness for me.

To those that enjoy life, I truly hope they continue to see the beauty in existing. I wouldn't wish this apathetic despair on anyone.

Yes. I'm glad some people can enjoy life. Even though so many of us on here are suffering.