smallcow4rd
New Member
- Dec 20, 2025
- 3
They let me rot in the deepens of my bedroom without questioning just to judge me later, vacations suck because I feel useless and they probably think so.
My friends, I love them, but life has taught me that to try and talk to them about what haunts me is totally useless: just gives stress, annoyance, impotence...
When they're mad i'm theyre scape goat, they can just spew passive aggresive comments onto me, tell me to shut the fuck up, then smile and pat me in the back with some new joke.
I try my best to keep up as the jester and make myself laugh. But when my brother frowns with disgust and condescendant, when my dad stares at his phone, when my friends leave me on read...I realize that I have lost the charm. My main escapism is gone too, my phone, I could just go and lose all day.
But now I cannot, im left with my thoughts too long.
I even had to call the Hotline, nice guy. But it will never be enough.
I will die one day, but it wont be from natural cause and I know that.
Thanks valentines day for making me realize that those who saw you grow hate you deeply, while loving you dearly.
Just waiting for a good day at this point.
My friends, I love them, but life has taught me that to try and talk to them about what haunts me is totally useless: just gives stress, annoyance, impotence...
When they're mad i'm theyre scape goat, they can just spew passive aggresive comments onto me, tell me to shut the fuck up, then smile and pat me in the back with some new joke.
I try my best to keep up as the jester and make myself laugh. But when my brother frowns with disgust and condescendant, when my dad stares at his phone, when my friends leave me on read...I realize that I have lost the charm. My main escapism is gone too, my phone, I could just go and lose all day.
But now I cannot, im left with my thoughts too long.
I even had to call the Hotline, nice guy. But it will never be enough.
I will die one day, but it wont be from natural cause and I know that.
Thanks valentines day for making me realize that those who saw you grow hate you deeply, while loving you dearly.
Just waiting for a good day at this point.
