It feels inhumane to keep living

[dory]

I've fantasized about dying before my first period. I've cut before my first period. I've fantasized things no one should before my first period. My life is already over and I feel as if I'm haunting my own narrative and the narratives around me. It feels inhumane. Im tired of being pumped full of anti psychotics. Im tired of being diagnosed. Im tired of everyone around me telling me it gets easier or it gets harder or people care about me and love me or no one cares and only I should care about myself. It's all bullshit and people cope how they please. Its inhumane. I refuse to conform to this society and I'm gonna be really happy when I leave it.