Venting it doesn't get better

[highjumping]

I haven't been on here for some time, reason was I tried to recover and it has been going okay. I became clean from self harm, cut down on smoking and drug use, started working through trauma with my therapist and met a girl I fell in love with. Then winter came, my depression got worse, I isolated myself and lost pretty much every friend I had made because of this, the girl I fell for is in a happy relationship since about a month and I feel selfish. I've now gone a week without leaving my house. I still haven't relapsed but it's only a matter of time until I do. The little human contact I had has absolutely destroyed me. I am on the border between giving up and still trying to get better. I miss my friends, I miss being okay. The only reason I am still here is because I am really afraid of failing to end my life. If anyone is still reading this, recommend me a method with a low rate of failure please, I don't care about the pain.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand having the fear of failing ctb, that's also what terrifies me, I really wish there's a straightforward way to just reliably die in peace. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you find what you are searching for.

 

[Surfie]

I haven't been on here for some time, reason was I tried to recover and it has been going okay. I became clean from self harm, cut down on smoking and drug use, started working through trauma with my therapist and met a girl I fell in love with. Then winter came, my depression got worse, I isolated myself and lost pretty much every friend I had made because of this, the girl I fell for is in a happy relationship since about a month and I feel selfish. I've now gone a week without leaving my house. I still haven't relapsed but it's only a matter of time until I do. The little human contact I had has absolutely destroyed me. I am on the border between giving up and still trying to get better. I miss my friends, I miss being okay. The only reason I am still here is because I am really afraid of failing to end my life. If anyone is still reading this, recommend me a method with a low rate of failure please, I don't care about the pain. used to want to CTB as painlessly as possible but I don't think anything is as painful as living

 

[highjumping]

I understand having the fear of failing ctb, that's also what terrifies me, I really wish there's a straightforward way to just reliably die in peace. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you find what you are searching for.

i wish i could get uthanized

 

[Z-A]

Sorry to hear that. I'm proud that you started recovering and worked on making it better, it takes courage and commitment. Sad to hear that everything went downhill like this. I understand that you're in pain right now.

Here's the methods thread posted by Sanctioned Suicide with all information.

I hope you'll get better soon. Regardless what you decide, I wish you the best.

 

[xsa]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way :(( I'm really hoping that your life gets better or at least you'll find peace. As for the methods, probably the most obvious ones like shotgun, sn, hanging. Whatever you chose to do, I wish you luck <3

 

[pluscat]

I haven't been on here for some time, reason was I tried to recover and it has been going okay. I became clean from self harm, cut down on smoking and drug use, started working through trauma with my therapist and met a girl I fell in love with. Then winter came, my depression got worse, I isolated myself and lost pretty much every friend I had made because of this, the girl I fell for is in a happy relationship since about a month and I feel selfish. I've now gone a week without leaving my house. I still haven't relapsed but it's only a matter of time until I do. The little human contact I had has absolutely destroyed me. I am on the border between giving up and still trying to get better. I miss my friends, I miss being okay. The only reason I am still here is because I am really afraid of failing to end my life. If anyone is still reading this, recommend me a method with a low rate of failure please, I don't care about the pain.

It's true it doesn't get better I made my account on here months ago, got better, got friends who cared about me, home life got better etc. So I didn't touch this forum for months, then it all came crumbling back down and here I am, what's the point in recovery if you always go back to square one?

 

[unabletocope]

Sorry your recovery didn't pan out, I can relate to the aim of trying to persevere through difficulty and feeling like you have made breakthroughs only to crumble and fall down harder. I hope you find your peace

 

[Throwawayacc3]

It's true it doesn't get better I made my account on here months ago, got better, got friends who cared about me, home life got better etc. So I didn't touch this forum for months, then it all came crumbling back down and here I am, what's the point in recovery if you always go back to square one?

It's the Matthew's Principle/Law/Effect in action.


Eventually you get to my point and you just give up completely. If the little "positive" bumps don't steadily incline then there is no point if they crash after a period of time.
Similar to how you have a saving account and you invest constantly - years go by and you believe it's going well. 2008 hits and the markets crumble you lose everything. Was it your fault? Not really. Was it greedy people's fault always wanting more? Yep.

Don't worry though - this pyramid scheme is set to collapse soon enough. You pay taxes but the government just prints money out of thin air so what are the taxes for? lol. Just opt out. Sit back and watch the collapse. I really want to see the normies/neurotypicals start to freak out when shit hits the fan. Get what you deserve for treating most of us like shit just so you can secure your pay check.