Venting It can't be this hard

[DeadSpaceEnthusiast]

I've attempted to jump off a pedestrian bridge near me about 30 or so times. Never went through with it, and after many minutes of just standing there, looking down, I would eventually give up. I wish there was an easier way to do it. I haven't attempted in a while since my family knows about it and are likely monitering me more now but I've gotten an intense urge to try again. I don't even know if I'd be able to do it if I tried again though.

I don't know my next move. Life has slowed down a lot. I've been talkingj to a therapist I was basically forced to talk to and that doesn't sit right with me. I hate being told I deserve to live, and I hate being told that if I ctb, I'm just fixing a "temporary problem". Why do so many people hate the idea of people going out on their own terms, and why is it so hard for me to go through with it? I can't help but feel like it should be easier. Perhaps I'm missing something. I'm not sure.

 

[RULE8AM]

Why do so many people hate the idea of people going out on their own terms

B/c life is beautiful for everyone & if you ctb you're selfish for not wanting to experience the beauty!

I must be honest though… someone wanting to ctb is slightly upsetting b/c what made them (us) want to?

Something happened in humanity where it seems like the general public forgot we're literally animals meant to reproduce—that's it.

The only point of life is to reproduce to keep all species extant.
Well… humanity is no where near extinct.

It should be easier. "They" make ctb so hard. That's why we have people jumping off/in front of things, blasting their heads off, etc..

Thankfully this website will show those who join that ctb can be done in a dignified & thoughtful way if they choose to

 

[FuneralCry]

I also wish it's not so difficult to be permanently free from this existence, it feels so cruel to me how I'm denied the option to just simply die in peace and never suffer ever again in this existence that always felt like a terrible mistake to me, ceasing to exist is all I personally hope for. But anyway I wish you the best.