Isolated for the first time in life, need advice/help

[enjoy92]

Hey Community,
first of all, thanks for everyone reading this!

I need coping strategies..

5 months ago, my (in my eyes) perfect girlfriend broke up and from there on there was a best friend who comforted me the whole time.. he broke our friendship one month ago, he was there for me the whole time, we talked everyday and see each other 2,3 times a week. He broke the friendship because I was on the phone about half an hour at his house while we were meant to do something..

Since that happened I became really isolated, being home and rotting on the couch nearly every day.. I'm the person who realizes lost when it's finally and then just realize what I had..

So, since that friendship who was there for me the whole time and made my free time more acceptable I'm really lonely, I spend most of the days alone at home doing nothing and just rotting my life away.. I still have 2 friends remaining and a brother who I talk daily with, but it's not the same as the friendship with my best friend.. I feel like I ruined everything what was good in my life and I'm scared I will rot my future away because I got no one who take me out of that miserable life I'm living right now..

That friend I know from young age since I was a kid, so it's not like it's easy replaceable and just find a new friend like this..

Half a year ago my life was nearly perfect and I had never problems with depression or had to went through crisis, and now everything hits in just a short time..

How can I become happy again and appreciate the things that are still left and not thinking about everything good I've lost.. It's a really a hard process for me since I never had crisis before and went through hard times.. My life was always easy and now it hits me in the face like really hard..

When I'm on that forum and read posts it's like a lot of people had it worse their whole life and I'm feeling like a hypocrite when I still have good things in my life, but I also read pain is individual and that doesn't mean just because a lot of people had it worse I should be happy about me life.

Please help me with some advice…

 

[arnxxx]

You being on the phone for half an hour doesn't seem like a good reason to end a lifelong friendship. You sure there's nothing else going on?
Have you tried talking to him, apologizing for your behaviour? I don't see why this friendship should end ...

 

[enjoy92]

You being on the phone for half an hour doesn't seem like a good reason to end a lifelong friendship. You sure there's nothing else going on?
Have you tried talking to him, apologizing for your behaviour? I don't see why this friendship should end ...

Yeah, most of the people I talked with didn't understand it either. In fact 1 week before that my father also died, so he knew how depressed I was at that time..
But to make it more understandable, he was there for me for months and all he got from me was a depressed guy who is always in bad mood, who always sits there with a sad face always talking about his problems and how miserable he felt. He tried to comfort me in any way beside that he had his own problems at that time and it was always about me.. at that evening we were cooking together and I left upstairs to talk to a girl and laugh at the phone and was "happy" and laughing, maybe he felt betrayed by this. The food was ready and I was still not downstairs with him. Going to him, he cooks and I leave to talk to another person, it's not the best attitude to be honest.. I think he had enough of me at that moment.

And yeah I tried everything after that, apologizing, writing a letter. He blocked me a day after and that's it.. We have a friend together who tried to talk to him but he wasn't interested in that topic and didn't wanna talk about it.. That friend we have together will try it in 1,2 weeks again to ask if we wanna go hiking again, because that is what we did a few times together and maybe he will say yes, or he will say that he isn't interested doing something together with me again. We will see..

So yeah, I could've been a better friend but quitting that friendship like that hard was way to harsh..

 

[arnxxx]

Yeah, most of the people I talked with didn't understand it either. In fact 1 week before that my father also died, so he knew how depressed I was at that time..
But to make it more understandable, he was there for me for months and all he got from me was a depressed guy who is always in bad mood, who always sits there with a sad face always talking about his problems and how miserable he felt. He tried to comfort me in any way beside that he had his own problems at that time and it was always about me.. at that evening we were cooking together and I left upstairs to talk to a girl and laugh at the phone and was "happy" and laughing, maybe he felt betrayed by this. The food was ready and I was still not downstairs with him. Going to him, he cooks and I leave to talk to another person, it's not the best attitude to be honest.. I think he had enough of me at that moment.

And yeah I tried everything after that, apologizing, writing a letter. He blocked me a day after and that's it.. We have a friend together who tried to talk to him but he wasn't interested in that topic and didn't wanna talk about it.. That friend we have together will try it in 1,2 weeks again to ask if we wanna go hiking again, because that is what we did a few times together and maybe he will say yes, or he will say that he isn't interested doing something together with me again. We will see..

So yeah, I could've been a better friend but quitting that friendship like that hard was way to harsh..

Seems like the phone call was the last straw. I know how hard it can be to lose a good friend. Ive been there. But at the time I was not depressed like now.

Did he read your letter? There is a chance you'll lose him and you got to cope with that.

I hope that second attempt by the mutual friend will work out. You deserve at least a conversation about this with him.