Venting Is what im doing noble or foolish?

[LadyAlastor]

I've always been one to keep my promises and always pay my debts, I've made a promise to my partner's that Essentially I'm not going to off myself until they want to do everything they want to do with me because they too have essentially formed a suicide pact with me that within 7 years we can finally be free.

but not until they do everything they've wanted to do within that 7 year time span I'm willing to do this but at the same time I'm I'm conflicted granted yes there are some things I too want to however however there are this times a few weeks becomes too much.

I know if I were to take myself out now they would be extremely disappointed and that's the last thing I want dishonor is not in the cards for me I won't let it, I guess I'm more curious on what they want to do they have a list of things I guess mentally noted, I guess they just want to spend as much time as they can with eachother all Us.

But through this journey is it noble or is it foolish this is the question I continue to ask myself.

 

[stoopid]

If you're not rich af, I wouldn't care.

You should stop overthink and care about yourself. A suicide pact is kinda sweet but tf 7 years that's basically a very obvious "yeah let's do a pact but I don't tell you I won't participate because I think it's a phase for you and you didn't want it anymore because you achieved enough atleast to keep you moving"

 

[Kusogaki]

This is beautiful I have shared almost the same experience but what I find is that it doesn't matter in the end.

 

[LadyAlastor]

This is beautiful I have shared almost the same experience but what I find is that it doesn't matter in the end.

And why do you say that my dear?
Granted I agree with you.

 

[Kusogaki]

And why do you say that my dear?
Granted I agree with you.

Personal experience, I don't want to spend my time wasting my breath on someone , ultimately everyone else's opinion doesn't matter at all. They are just people the will die and forget. Love your posts btw darling .

 

[LadyAlastor]

Personal experience, I don't want to spend my time wasting my breath on someone , ultimately everyone else's opinion doesn't matter at all. They are just people the will die and forget. Love your posts btw darling .

Why thank you dearie I love your input

If you're not rich af, I wouldn't care.

You should stop overthink and care about yourself. A suicide pact is kinda sweet but tf 7 years that's basically a very obvious "yeah let's do a pact but I don't tell you I won't participate because I think it's a phase for you and you didn't want it anymore because you achieved enough atleast to keep you moving"

I am aware that the council has made a decision granted it's a stupid ass decision I've elected to ignore it.
But thank you for your input.
If that is the case shes gonna have a rude awakening. However I'm sure that's not the case.

 

[fsm-sv]

I've always been one to keep my promises and always pay my debts, I've made a promise to my partner's that Essentially I'm not going to off myself until they want to do everything they want to do with me because they too have essentially formed a suicide pact with me that within 7 years we can finally be free.

but not until they do everything they've wanted to do within that 7 year time span I'm willing to do this but at the same time I'm I'm conflicted granted yes there are some things I too want to however however there are this times a few weeks becomes too much.

I know if I were to take myself out now they would be extremely disappointed and that's the last thing I want dishonor is not in the cards for me I won't let it, I guess I'm more curious on what they want to do they have a list of things I guess mentally noted, I guess they just want to spend as much time as they can with eachother all Us.

But through this journey is it noble or is it foolish this is the question I continue to ask myself.

The answer is that it is neither. Living for someone else isn't noble, nor is it foolish. Ask yourself one thing: "Am I happy with this decision?". Make sure that in the end it will bring you peace and closure instead of losing the point mid-journey.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just think that it's a personal decision deciding to stay here or not, only you can decide when to leave and it's completely up to you. Nobody is obligated to suffer for any longer than they wish to, grief and loss are just an inevitable part of life. But anyway, I wish you the best.

 

[Euthanza]

I have been counting my last 1000 days, now early on 800ish it feels pretty fast since I'm not moving a lot, yet to accomplish what I want to do, but still I won't be negotiated.

That's 2555 days for both of you. Good luck on your journey!

 

[LadyAlastor]

I just think that it's a personal decision deciding to stay here or not, only you can decide when to leave and it's completely up to you. Nobody is obligated to suffer for any longer than they wish to, grief and loss are just an inevitable part of life. But anyway, I wish you the best.

Thanks for the input miss cry always means alot to me.

I have been counting my last 1000 days, now early on 800ish it feels pretty fast since I'm not moving a lot, yet to accomplish what I want to do, but still I won't be negotiated.

That's 2555 days for both of you. Good luck on your journey!

Nevery thought to count the days, might have to play the final countdown when its close.

 

[PurpleParadigm]

Regardless of what you choose to do I think this isn't a healthy dynamic and you two should talk. A relationship shouldn't be held together by a suicide pact.

This is one of those cases where I would suggest checking if perhaps there are also some resources you can use to work through this.

 

[LadyAlastor]

Regardless of what you choose to do I think this isn't a healthy dynamic and you two should talk. A relationship shouldn't be held together by a suicide pact.

This is one of those cases where I would suggest checking if perhaps there are also some resources you can use to work through this.

That's gonna be a no from me, understand this I've been with this woman for over 10 years so it's not just one of those cases,trust me when I say it's not held together by our pact it goes alot deeper then that. so please don't suggest anything having to do with resources that's not what I'm here for.
If I wanted resources I'd go to my therapist as you can see that's not gonna be a thing.

tldr
Partner has physical issues that make it hard to do alot and mental issues because of extreme trauma that make her wanna blow her brains our regardless of meds and therapy ( granted I'm glad shes still going)

Me on the other hand I'm about the same except the physical issues.

Mental health get worse with age .
And it's okay time make an expiration date for when your both ready to go. It's also okay to have moments when it gets too much and have to vent.

 

[PurpleParadigm]

Mental health get worse with age .

Oof, this hit home hard. Can't agree more. That's me.

I'm glad to see you have clearly thought this through, in that case all I can suggest is still talking about this with your partner? Many issues stem from lack of communication, and a conversation likely would have a better effect on her than suddenly finding that you have ended your life sooner than agreed. Failing that, it's bad to break promises but it's also your body and your life.

 

[LadyAlastor]

Oof, this hit home hard. Can't agree more. That's me.

I'm glad to see you have clearly thought this through, in that case all I can suggest is still talking about this with your partner? Many issues stem from lack of communication, and a conversation likely would have a better effect on her than suddenly finding that you have ended your life sooner than agreed. Failing that, it's bad to break promises but it's also your body and your life.

Mate I'm not looking to back out, no lack of communication just doing my best not to take myself out early.
Promise is a promise.
And I've had too many break promises on me and I'm not about to be a hypocrite.

 

[Hitakiri]

We each live our lives in our own way. You made a promise, and find value in that promise. It means something to you. If we don't stand for something, we'd fall for anything. Remember that, when you feel like you're falling. You wouldn't have decided on this if they weren't important to you. May as well make the most of your time, while you have it. Live and die on your own terms, even if it's for and with another.

 

[LadyAlastor]

We each live our lives in our own way. You made a promise, and find value in that promise. It means something to you. If we don't stand for something, we'd fall for anything. Remember that, when you feel like you're falling. You wouldn't have decided on this if they weren't important to you. May as well make the most of your time, while you have it. Live and die on your own terms, even if it's for and with another.

Thank you hitakiri I needed that.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

For me, I can't live or stick around for others. I would just have to do what is best for me. I'm the only one who knows what is best for me.