Is this gender dysphoria?

[Parnate]

I am gay male, 31.
As a kid I was very feminine and girly . I was abused and bullied for being feminine for many years , all this has made me highly self conscious about my body language, expression, voice etc.
I feel I am not behaving in accordance with my gender. I feel I am man enough. I feel I am a misfit in my body and gender. I should be more masculine.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I'm not an expert on the topic. My response would be that what you describe is not gender dysphoria. But I'll watch for other comments and see what others say. I'm a male, not gay, but I don't project a very masculine image. I don't have the classic broad shoulders, strong jaw line, and so on, and I have a more gentle speaking voice. My dad was disappointed in me and he basically tried to have very little to do with me, which made me miss out on a lot. Girls weren't attracted to me. Guys beat me up and generally called me a "wimp" ( I grew up in the 70's-80's). I did end up getting married to a woman. But to this day I feel like "not really fully a man" as compared to other men.

 

[SeafoamSkeleton]

From my perspective, as a trans nonbinary person, if you want to be a man and think you are a man, you are most likely a man. If you want to be a woman and think you are a woman, then you most likely are a woman.

It's totally valid to be gender non-conforming. There's plenty of feminine men and masculine women. If you acctually want to try to be more masculine, then you can put in the effort to learn. But if you're just trying to be masculine out of social pressure, it's probably better for you to try to surround yourself with a more supportive community instead of forcing yourself in a box for other people.

 

[beandigger404]

It can definitely be gender dysphoria. I'd recommend doing some introspection and exploring your femininity. Stuff like this takes time. Don't worry about fitting into labels like "trans" or "man" "women" whatever. Dress and act however you want, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. You get one shot at life, why constrict your self-expression to gender norms? It's incredibly unfortunate that some people are cruel to others that just want to live their lives happily without conforming to whatever society wants from us. You deserve to love yourself

 

[bleeding_heart_show]

Gender dysphoria is a term used to describe the medicalized form of gender nonconformity.

In a bizarre way gender essentialism seems to have returned after a brief obscuration. Those that struggle to adhere to entirely feminine or masculine behaviours are pressured to take a side, whichever one it may end up being.

I wish I could say "do not let the past impositions of others harm you in the present" in good faith, but this is an impossible task because we are imposed upon from conception to death.

 

[SeafoamSkeleton]

Gender dysphoria is a term used to describe the medicalized form of gender nonconformity.

In a bizarre way gender essentialism seems to have returned after a brief obscuration. Those that struggle to adhere to entirely feminine or masculine behaviours are pressured to take a side, whichever one it may end up being.

I wish I could say "do not let the past impositions of others harm you in the present" in good faith, but this is an impossible task because we are imposed upon from conception to death.

Um, no. That's not what gender dysphoria is. It has very little to do with gendered "behaviors." I'm not sure if you're saying this out of ignorance or transphobia, though, so maybe next time actually do some reading on the medical condition you are talking about before spreading harmful beliefs.

 

[avoid]

I feel I am not behaving in accordance with my gender. I feel I am man enough. I feel I am a misfit in my body and gender. I should be more masculine.

I am gay and I wish I wasn't .

It seems to me you have trouble accepting yourself for who you are. Whether you experience gender dysphoria, based on what you wrote, I don't think so. But I'm no medical expert and even if I was, or if anyone else on this thread is, it's hard to diagnose someone over the internet with limited information.

I know "just accept yourself" is easier said than done, especially considering you wrote that you were abused and bullied for being yourself. If you decide to change your appearance, mannerisms or personality then do so without conforming to what others want you to be. If someone pressures you to be someone you're not then confront them about their toxic attitude or, if need be, cut ties with them. Place yourself in the number one spot.

 

[parentportaldotnet]

remember that gender is a spectrum and is entirely separate from sex (our genes). you don't have to conform to any norm if it makes you feel comfortable. you can be a highly feminine man or be a highly masculine woman, maybe even something in between or something entirely different. just remember that gender is a social construct and our identities are not tied to our biology, and rather, our feelings. I'd say, if you feel like exploring your gender identity, 100% go for it, BUT, i will also say, dont worry about pronouns, or dressing a certain way. do what you like and do what makes you comfortable. if you feel as if not conforming makes you happy, great, but if conforming makes you happy, that's just as great too. just make sure you take care of yourself (bathing, eating, drinking water, etc.)

 

[Parnate]

I

Um, no. That's not what gender dysphoria is. It has very little to do with gendered "behaviors." I'm not sure if you're saying this out of ignorance or transphobia, though, so maybe next time actually do some reading on the medical condition you are talking about before spreading harmful beliefs.

am sorry I am unaware. I don't exactly know what my problems is , also I have difficulty communicating my feelings and emotion, also difficulty recognising them. I am working with my therapist on all this and he too seems not so knowledgeable.
I have decided

It seems to me you have trouble accepting yourself for who you are. Whether you experience gender dysphoria, based on what you wrote, I don't think so. But I'm no medical expert and even if I was, or if anyone else on this thread is, it's hard to diagnose someone over the internet with limited information.

I know "just accept yourself" is easier said than done, especially considering you wrote that you were abused and bullied for being yourself. If you decide to change your appearance, mannerisms or personality then do so without conforming to what others want you to be. If someone pressures you to be someone you're not then confront them about their toxic attitude or, if need be, cut ties with them. Place yourself in the number one spot.

I am going to cut ties with one such toxic friend.

 

[SeafoamSkeleton]

I am sorry I am unaware. I don't exactly know what my problems is , also I have difficulty communicating my feelings and emotion, also difficulty recognising them. I am working with my therapist on all this and he too seems not so knowledgeable.

Oh no! That post wasn't to you, it was to other person I replied to. My first post on this thread was to you. I'm so sorry. Your question didn't ring as transphobic or anything to me at all! <3

 

[bleeding_heart_show]

Um, no. That's not what gender dysphoria is. It has very little to do with gendered "behaviors." I'm not sure if you're saying this out of ignorance or transphobia, though, so maybe next time actually do some reading on the medical condition you are talking about before spreading harmful beliefs.

My intention is not to disparage anyone.

My hypercritical view of anything to do with psychiatry caused me to sound harsh. My apologies.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm not sure really. Do you hate your own body? Do you want to have a female body? Or, is it more the character traits of the feminine you feel more comfortable with?

I'm the reverse really. I'm a cis woman but, I was always a tom boy. I always hated girly toys, clothes, colours etc. I hated the expectations placed on women to act in a certain way. I don't enjoy being a woman. I hate having periods. I'd prefer to have the capacity to be stronger.

That all said though, I wouldn't say I was dysphoric. I don't long to be a man. I don't want the genitals of a man. I hate what I've done to my body- letting it get so fat and unfit but, I don't hate the feminine form. I just think it sucks to be human generally.

I'm not sure in your case. It sounds similar to me though in a way- in that you've rejected societies expectations of your gender, rather than the biological gender itself. You'd know best though. I tend to witness dysphoric people hating their bodies though and, wishing they had something else primarily. Not sure I sense that in you.