Is this a good enough reason to die?

[DevilInHell667]

I had a job interview and got laid off. I get mad easily, no social skills and dont want to talk to people. I also cant remember stuff good and have to work twice as hard just to be good as other people. Im not exaggerating when I say that my social communication skills are at 0. I also often think about killing people and they are very explicit fantasies for how and where. Would this be a good enough reason to commit suicide? Sorry btw

 

[HereToday]

I don't think it's up to anyone else to tell you what is or isn't a good reason to commit suicide. Have you talked to someone about the way you're feeling?

 

[Flippy]

It sounds like you aren't very well right now and you might be getting what people refer to as intrusive thoughts. I imagine it's distressing you thinking about harming people. That's maybe motivating you to feel like ctb. I would strongly urge you to talk to a mental health professional as you shouldn't deal with what you are going through on your own.

 

[Motherfly]

The only good reason to commit suicide is that you don't want to live anymore.

Do you want to continue living, yes or no. Then you have your answer.

 

[forever21]

Hello,
first I am sorry that you feel this way.
Do you think you can find another job or live a while with social benefits (do they exist in your country?).
Do you want to be very social, because you say that you don't want to talk to poeple. Or do you don't want to talk to others because you afraid or inexperienced or other reasons?
If you are worried because you are getting mad easily and thinking about killing poeple talking to a psychiatrist can help you find the reason.

 

[Despondent]

Any reason that makes you want to take your own life is a "good reason".

 

[BPD Barbie]

Nobody can say what's enough reason or not except yourself. We all handle situations differently and have different opinions. To some this might feel enough and to others it might not. Only you can say that.

 

[DevilInHell667]

Hello,
first I am sorry that you feel this way.
Do you think you can find another job or live a while with social benefits (do they exist in your country?).
Do you want to be very social, because you say that you don't want to talk to poeple. Or do you don't want to talk to others because you afraid or inexperienced or other reasons?
If you are worried because you are getting mad easily and thinking about killing poeple talking to a psychiatrist can help you find the reason.

Im 18 and Im still in HS. I want to work, but I cant communicate with people. People always get mad at me. My father said he would kick me out if I continue having these thoughts

Im 18 and Im still in HS. I want to work, but I cant communicate with people. People always get mad at me. My father said he would kick me out if I continue having these thoughts

I want to be able to socially communicate and have friends, but I think I just embarrass myself and everyone laugh at me. Now in school I am known as the class clown. I have 0 friends.

 

[Shinbu]

My communication skills in real life is pretty bad. I can relate with you on that, and about having to work twice as hard. It is one of my reasons to check out. You do you. You are the one who knows best.

 

[Flippy]

Im 18 and Im still in HS. I want to work, but I cant communicate with people. People always get mad at me. My father said he would kick me out if I continue having these thoughts



I want to be able to socially communicate and have friends, but I think I just embarrass myself and everyone laugh at me. Now in school I am known as the class clown. I have 0 friends.

It sounds like your father doesn't understand what you are going through. Is there anyone at highschool you can talk to about things? Intrusive thoughts can be extremely distressing. You need to realise that you don't have to act on them and get some help. Trying to cope on your own will be extremely difficult. I imagine these thoughts are disturbing to you and you might be afraid of them but remember that they aren't things you really want to do and that's a big part of why they are so distressing.
I'm not sure if you have maybe some traumatic experiences in you past that make it hard for you to socialise. Believe me when I say with the right help you can recover from what you are going through! 18 is a lot younger than you realize right now and you can have the opportunity to be exactly the person you want to be.

 

[DevilInHell667]

So I have to retake the year. Should I now commit suicide because of this?

 

[OrangeLounge]

If you're still in high school, I really would try to wait or see a psychiatrist/counselor. That's an awful time for a lot of us.
I never really had any friends in high school but that improved when I went out and got a job (I have autism so it's pretty hard!)
Even if you just go to community college or something, they normally have things like clubs you can try to attend. I've been meaning to go to a gaming club as of late, personally.

 

[Flippy]

So I have to retake the year. Should I now commit suicide because of this?
[/QUOTE

I don't think personally that's reason to end things. I think you are in a very dark place right now and dealing with some very tough stuff.

You said you feel like the class clown. I just thought I would say that I often was viewed that way. I thought if I make fun of myself before anyone else had the chance that it would be somehow better. Maybe this is what you do too to avoid being hurt?

 

[forever21]

Im 18 and Im still in HS. I want to work, but I cant communicate with people. People always get mad at me. My father said he would kick me out if I continue having these thoughts

I want to be able to socially communicate and have friends, but I think I just embarrass myself and everyone laugh at me. Now in school I am known as the class clown. I have 0 friends.

I also had 0 friends in hs.
Do you plan on going to uni. It really offers you a second chance.
There is a lot of literature. I can't guarantee that it will work, but you should give it a try. Some authors even have asperger or autism. That's why it's a good start to go to a psychiatrist. Are you medically insured?
What thoughts are you referring to? Killing people?

 

[DevilInHell667]

I don't think personally that's reason to end things. I think you are in a very dark place right now and dealing with some very tough stuff.

You said you feel like the class clown. I just thought I would say that I often was viewed that way. I thought if I make fun of myself before anyone else had the chance that it would be somehow better. Maybe this is what you do too to avoid being hurt?

Is it not just part of my personality being a clown?

I also had 0 friends in hs.
Do you plan on going to uni. It really offers you a second chance.
There is a lot of literature. I can't guarantee that it will work, but you should give it a try. Some authors even have asperger or autism. That's why it's a good start to go to a psychiatrist. Are you medically insured?
What thoughts are you referring to? Killing people?

Becoming a serial killer. I have it all planned out in my mind. Pretty weird.

 

[elizabeth.luck]

You said had a job interview and got laid off. What does that mean? You had a job interview, got the job, and then lost it?

 

[DevilInHell667]

You said had a job interview and got laid off. What does that mean? You had a job interview, got the job, and then lost it?

He sent me an email 1 hour later I didnt get the job. He couldve just told me immediatly saying I wasnt fit for the job.

 

[Flippy]

Is it not just part of my personality being a clown?

I thought it was part of personality for a long time, but really it was a poorly formed strategy to protect myself. And also a way to keep people at a distance to distract from all the messed up thoughts I had about myself. My mother was extremely horrible to me and I developed a lot of unhealthy ideas about myself. So I sabotaged myself socially to prevent people getting close to me. Is that something that makes sense to you in your situation?

 

[DevilInHell667]

I thought it was part of personality for a long time, but really it was a poorly formed strategy to protect myself. And also a way to keep people at a distance to distract from all the messed up thoughts I had about myself. My mother was extremely horrible to me and I developed a lot of unhealthy ideas about myself. So I sabotaged myself socially to prevent people getting close to me. Is that something that makes sense to you in your situation?

Maybe I really dont know tbh.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

if it was, you'd know. imo suicide should be a last resort, for once your life becomes excruciatingly unbearable and theres no hope of it getting better.

 

[Flippy]

He sent me an email 1 hour later I didnt get the job. He couldve just told me immediatly saying I wasnt fit for the job.

That sucks! I can't imagine it was easy for you to do your best at an interview feeling the way you currently are! That sort of thing has happened a few times to me. The thing is employers forget just how much effort us job seekers put in. They stop thinking of people as people and more of a commodity. Probably makes it easier to do the firing and hiring from their point of view. They aren't very considerate. I know it's hard but try not to take it so personally. :-)

 

[nonamegirl]

One can never put themselves in others shoes and feel their pain, but you asked for our opinion and I'd say this is not a reason to commit suicide. Not even close.

For me personally I only understand suicide if it's due to severe depression or any other mental illness going on for years, chronic pain or horrrible physical illnesses that are very painful.

 

[DevilInHell667]

It sounds like your father doesn't understand what you are going through. Is there anyone at highschool you can talk to about things? Intrusive thoughts can be extremely distressing. You need to realise that you don't have to act on them and get some help. Trying to cope on your own will be extremely difficult. I imagine these thoughts are disturbing to you and you might be afraid of them but remember that they aren't things you really want to do and that's a big part of why they are so distressing.
I'm not sure if you have maybe some traumatic experiences in you past that make it hard for you to socialise. Believe me when I say with the right help you can recover from what you are going through! 18 is a lot younger than you realize right now and you can have the opportunity to be exactly the person you want to be.

Is it weird if I say I want to kill people?

 

[Flippy]

Perhaps next time you get the impulse to act the clown tell yourself to wait and ask yourself why you feel that way. Consider if it's really what you want to do. Or if it's just a way to hide in plane sight? That's kinda what I did but sometimes I still put myself down for people's entertainment. It's a hard habit to kick sometimes!

Is it weird if I say I want to kill people?

What you need to realise is that it is normal to have lots of different thoughts in your head throughout the day. Even disturbing thoughts of harming people. Most people just dismiss them or don't get worried by them. You are getting worried by them by the sound of it. You know harming people is wrong no doubt and maybe you feel like you are a bad person for thinking that way. Your brain is a very effective computer that likes to explore as many scenarios as it can. The issue is that due to what I suspect is a mental health issue you have gotten distressed by those thoughts and can't put them aside. That's why I really think you need to talk to someone with the right skills to help you as soon as you can. :-)

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

In my opinion absolutely not. There are a lot of reasons to live and none that I can see in your list that make suicide viable.

Of course no one can answer that question for you.

This is how I see it. There are lots of opportunities in the world for people with poor memory or lack social skills, and there are many non drug treatments that can help you improve both.

The violent thinking, is just simply that. Thoughts... think of all the horror movies and disturbing books and tv shows. Lots of people think dark thoughts. Your thoughts are not always a true reflection of who you are, nor do they indicate you are a danger to anyone, unless you take action, they are just thoughts. The fact that you seem bothered by these thoughts is probably a good indicator that you actually don't want to act on them. But I am not a doctor...just my opinion. I would only be worried if the thoughts start manifesting into impulses.

Here is what I always suggest to everyone at first.

There are a lot of Physical health problems that can cause neurological and psychological symptoms. You could be having memory issues , anxiety, and unwanted thoughts causes by anything from Mold Exposure, Lyme Infection, Candida or Yeast in you gut, thyroid issues... I even read of a case of a women that was labeled with Catatonic psychosis. She ended up with a severe calcium deficiency and being treated with high doses of Injected Calcium she made a full recovery.

So get blood labs done. Thyroid, Lyme, a complete blood panel with potassium and all minerals and vitamins. If that goes nowhere get some of the other tests done like Lyme, Candida , etc... you can get Lyme from a mosquito bite , you don't have to be in an area that has tics.

Also look at your diet. Do you eat a lot if foods high in glutamate? Sugar? Carbs? Processed foods?

Anyway that is where I would start, get some blood work done, and look at what you are eating. You would be amazed at how many people with the symptoms you describe have an underlying Physical cause.

Is it weird if I say I want to kill people?

Do you really want to? Or are you just having violent fantasies? Do you feel like you are going to, or are you just having thoughts. Thoughts and Actions are 2 completely different things. These types of thoughts could very well fall into the "Pure O" label with people that have "OCD". The reason why I put those in quotes is because they are just labels doctors use to describe symptoms they do not understand, I personally think most Psychiatric labels are bull shit. No not in every case... but so many people have a simple imbalance in their body or an underlying physical illness. Justin Beiber is a perfect example. He was depressed, sick, and started looking very unhealthy. Everyone speculated he was using drugs. So his symptoms were ignores , The truth is he had Lyme Disease and a doctor finaly diagnosed him properly and now he is doing better.

 

[Flippy]

Sorry it appears my last post somehow got submitted as an edit to the previous one!

 

[DevilInHell667]

In my opinion absolutely not. There are a lot of reasons to live and none that I can see in your list that make suicide viable.

Of course no one can answer that question for you.

This is how I see it. There are lots of opportunities in the world for people with poor memory or lack social skills.

The violent thinking, is just simply that. Thoughts... think of all the horror movies and disturbing books and tv shows. Lots of people think dark thoughts. Your thoughts are not always a true reflection of who you are, not do the indicate you are a danger to anyone.

Here is what I always suggest to everyone at first.

There are a lot of Physical health problems that can cause neurological and psychological symptoms. You could be having memory issues , anxiety, and unwanted thoughts causes by anything from Mold Exposure, Lyme Infection, Candida or Yeast in you gut, thyroid issues... I even read of a case of a women that was labeled with Catatonic psychosis. She ended up with a severe calcium deficiency and being treated with high doses of Injected Calcium she made a full recovery.

So get blood labs done. Thyroid, Lyme, a complete blood panel with potassium and all minerals and vitamins. If that goes nowhere get some of the other tests done like Lyme, Candida , etc... you can get Lyme from a mosquito bite , you don't have to be in an area that has tics.

Also look at your diet. Do you eat a lot if foods high in glutamate? Sugar? Carbs? Processed foods?

Anyway that is where I would start, get some blood work done, and look at what you are eating. You would be amazed at how many people with the symptoms you describe have an underlying Physical cause.

Do you really want to. Or are you just having violent fantasies? Do you feel like you are going to, or are you just having thoughts. Thoughts and Actions are 2 completely different things.

Shall I talk to my therapist again then. I have been denying her calls for over 3 weeks now.

 

[chris8000]

It does sound to me like seeing a mental health professional is a good idea, that's ok plenty of people do that. It's just good for you to get the support you need. I don't think you need to kill yourself personally, your 18 and you can get a lot better from this.

 

[APharmaDestroyedLife]

Shall I talk to my therapist again then. I have been denying her calls for over 3 weeks now.

Only if you think your therapist is helpful, some therapists and patients just do not have good synergy. You are avoiding them for a reason. Maybe the reason is because you do not think they are helping you. The other reason could be because you think they can help but you don't want to do the work or are afraid of being completely honest.

If you just don't like your therapist, but think you could benefit from therapy keep looking until you find one that gets you and that you like.

Spending time in nature, doing brain puzzles , yoga and meditation can really help. Its not an overnight fix and does require some discipline and commitment to see results. I personally did very well with Kung Fu training. I needed to get out the physical energy in a safe and disciplined way. Others do better with less aggressive methods, as i mentioned Yoga seems to work wonders for people.

Also volunteering can really get your mind to shift gears. at a local animal shelter or homeless shelter... or whatever you are passionate about..

I had very dark and disturbing thoughts from the age of 17 to 24 , then they just stopped. Or I learned to control them. I always try to remind people under 25 years of age, that even though you have an adult body, your brain is still growing , making new connections and adapting until you're 25. In fact your brain still grows and changes your entire life, but you don't have an "Adult brain" until you are 25 years old.

 

[Flippy]

Shall I talk to my therapist again then. I have been denying her calls for over 3 weeks now.

That sounds like a very wise decision to me! Talk about it, tell her how much these things are bothering you, be honest don't keep anything back. You will get the help you need. The important thing to remember is, this is about you. Only you, it doesn't matter what other people think so don't let that hold you back :-) You can heal from this. Get the future you want and deserve. You have every right to it! :-)