Is there something wrong with me or am I delusional?

[Navi]

No one listens to me it's like I'm invisible or something. They only like me when I'm not sad or venting. No one gives me any advice or at least sympathizes. It could be just me but is it wrong to want people to respond to when you rant or vent?? Am I the one in the wrong here or does everyone just fucking hate me? Like what the fuck did I do???? Oh but then when I wanna CTB suddenly everyone rushes over to me. Im convinced they wanna keep me miserable. They only wanna know what's wrong with me and then ignore me completely. They only wanna know when I'm suffering and they wanna keep it like that. I just wish I didn't feel anything at all, is there a way to do that? To just get rid of any and all feelings?

 

[The anhedonic one]

No one listens to me it's like I'm invisible or something. They only like me when I'm not sad or venting. No one gives me any advice or at least sympathizes. It could be just me but is it wrong to want people to respond to when you rant or vent?? Am I the one in the wrong here or does everyone just fucking hate me? Like what the fuck did I do???? Oh but then when I wanna CTB suddenly everyone rushes over to me. Im convinced they wanna keep me miserable. They only wanna know what's wrong with me and then ignore me completely. They only wanna know when I'm suffering and they wanna keep it like that. I just wish I didn't feel anything at all, is there a way to do that? To just get rid of any and all feelings?

People are mostly stupid and selfish. The vast majority are also fair-weather friends who couldn't really care less about how others are feeling.
They pretend to care about you when mentioning CTB because they are just covering their ass, and it gives them a sense of being a high and mighty do-gooder.
Basically most people are fake, and best left well alone.
Sorry you are going through this.

 

[Navi]

You're right. I mean it's the only logical explanation since I can't be blaming myself all the time. At some point it has the be anyone else's fault but mine. I'm putting too much effort onto my friendships.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's sad to say but I think people simply get bored of hearing about problems all the time. My Dad once told me that and it really upset me because I hoped these people would be my friends through thick and thin. It's like @The anhedonic one said though- lots of people are simply 'fair weather friends'. Most people in general are- it's sad to say. Even family to an extent. They seem to want to talk about problems once or twice and then for them to be fixed.

Sadly- the only way I know to protect yourself from this is to simply not rely on people. Don't expect them to react in a certain way- even if you would in return. Try to be grateful when they are kind to you but don't expect them to be. Ideally- if you've worked out which ones you can't rely on- try not to rely on them so much. Vent here for instance instead. It's not the same as real life of course but it's still an outlet.

It's sad because you kind of realise you can't be your whole self in front of people you hoped would accept you as-is. Still- we can't make people behave in a certain way towards us. They have their own histories. I have a friend who just tends to come back with platitudes if I vent to them- which- really only annoy me further. So- I try not to vent to them now. I fully expect it's because that's what their parents and people around them do to them. I think quite often we end up just repeating the stuff people said to us- even though we may actually realise it doesn't work. I'm sorry though. I know how disappointing and lonely it is.

 

[Navi]

It's sad to say but I think people simply get bored of hearing about problems all the time. My Dad once told me that and it really upset me because I hoped these people would be my friends through thick and thin. It's like @The anhedonic one said though- lots of people are simply 'fair weather friends'. Most people in general are- it's sad to say. Even family to an extent. They seem to want to talk about problems once or twice and then for them to be fixed.

Sadly- the only way I know to protect yourself from this is to simply not rely on people. Don't expect them to react in a certain way- even if you would in return. Try to be grateful when they are kind to you but don't expect them to be. Ideally- if you've worked out which ones you can't rely on- try not to rely on them so much. Vent here for instance instead. It's not the same as real life of course but it's still an outlet.

It's sad because you kind of realise you can't be your whole self in front of people you hoped would accept you as-is. Still- we can't make people behave in a certain way towards us. They have their own histories. I have a friend who just tends to come back with platitudes if I vent to them- which- really only annoy me further. So- I try not to vent to them now. I fully expect it's because that's what their parents and people around them do to them. I think quite often we end up just repeating the stuff people said to us- even though we may actually realise it doesn't work. I'm sorry though. I know how disappointing and lonely it is.

A messed up world we live in isn't it? Yeah this is probably the last time I'll open up to any of my "friends". I'll definitely try to rely less on people. I used to be fine on my own but I don't know what came over me to suddenly need other people. It weird. I'm half aware of how people really are, but I'm still looking for any kind of sympathy or understanding. Maybe im just desperate? Well anyway, thanks. Your response really hit hard for me and made me realize a good amount of things.

 

[Forever Sleep]

A messed up world we live in isn't it? Yeah this is probably the last time I'll open up to any of my "friends". I'll definitely try to rely less on people. I used to be fine on my own but I don't know what came over me to suddenly need other people. It weird. I'm half aware of how people really are, but I'm still looking for any kind of sympathy or understanding. Maybe im just desperate? Well anyway, thanks. Your response really hit hard for me and made me realize a good amount of things.

There's nothing wrong with you. It's natural to want support from people we hope are close to us. Especially if we have helped them- which I'm sure you have. It's not to say everyone is like it too. You may be lucky to find some people who will be kind always. Plus- your current friends might be kind sometimes and less patient other times. If I'm honest- even my Dad can be like that. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't care deep down either. I just think sometimes we need to focus on what we need. Sometimes a harsher response CAN help us- if we're feeling strong enough to pull ourselves together. If we're not though- it can feel devastating. We opened ourselves up and were rejected/ ignored/ criticized. I just think you need to consider what YOU need right now and how best to get that. But definitely don't criticize yourself. You did the 'normal' thing by trying to rely on your social circle. I'm sorry. I have had that sting of disappointment/ rejection myself and it can leave you feeling lost.

 

[90starve]

i have found that nobody really cares about us - suicidal people are pushed aside because the friendship is too much maintenance for most. people like it to be simple, and unfortunately, we just aren't. i don't try to open up anymore - it's too risky, and definitely not worth the mental strain of getting the words out.

im sorry that you're going through this - from experience, i know it can be a truly confusing and upsetting time - but we care about you here <3

 

[MrDarkness]

Most people don't listen to problems cause they feel awkward, the reason they rush to you when you try to ctb is because they will feel guilty, I know the feeling. I'm so alone but as soon as I talk about death, everyone comes rushing like a dog when they see a treat. If you need someone to talk to my dms are always open. I hope your able to find better friends

 

[FuneralCry]

The way that I see it, so many humans are very self centred and you cannot rely on them, it sounds like the other people are the problem in this situation, and I'm not even surprised that those people are acting like that. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[hells "angel"]

No one listens to me it's like I'm invisible or something. They only like me when I'm not sad or venting. No one gives me any advice or at least sympathizes. It could be just me but is it wrong to want people to respond to when you rant or vent?? Am I the one in the wrong here or does everyone just fucking hate me? Like what the fuck did I do???? Oh but then when I wanna CTB suddenly everyone rushes over to me. Im convinced they wanna keep me miserable. They only wanna know what's wrong with me and then ignore me completely. They only wanna know when I'm suffering and they wanna keep it like that. I just wish I didn't feel anything at all, is there a way to do that? To just get rid of any and all feelings?

I know exactly how you feel. It can be really fucking tough to feel like you're not being heard. Like no one cares unless you're actively slicing your wrists and killing yourself. Like you don't matter until you're dead. But Navy, that's not true. Far from it, bullshit, actually. We hear you. I hear you.

 

[Navi]

i have found that nobody really cares about us - suicidal people are pushed aside because the friendship is too much maintenance for most. people like it to be simple, and unfortunately, we just aren't. i don't try to open up anymore - it's too risky, and definitely not worth the mental strain of getting the words out.

im sorry that you're going through this - from experience, i know it can be a truly confusing and upsetting time - but we care about you here <3

I've been thinking about that quite a bit, the whole complicated vs simple relationship sorta thing. It's made me question what friends really are for. Like, yes they are someone to have fun with, someone that you assume would listen to you and someone you hold dearly in your heart. Now, friends are just shallow. There is no real relationship. No real connection. It just sucks :/

i have found that nobody really cares about us - suicidal people are pushed aside because the friendship is too much maintenance for most. people like it to be simple, and unfortunately, we just aren't. i don't try to open up anymore - it's too risky, and definitely not worth the mental strain of getting the words out.

im sorry that you're going through this - from experience, i know it can be a truly confusing and upsetting time - but we care about you here <3

I've been thinking about that quite a bit, the whole complicated vs simple relationship sorta thing. It's made me question what friends really are for. Like, yes they are someone to have fun with, someone that you assume would listen to you and someone you hold dearly in your heart. Now, friends are just shallow. There is no real relationship. No real connection. It just sucks :/

I know exactly how you feel. It can be really fucking tough to feel like you're not being heard. Like no one cares unless you're actively slicing your wrists and killing yourself. Like you don't matter until you're dead. But Navy, that's not true. Far from it, bullshit, actually. We hear you. I hear you.

Thanks. All the replied here have been kind and eye opening in a way. If we all hurt we might as well support each other. Only hurt people can understand other hurt people after all.

The way that I see it, so many humans are very self centred and you cannot rely on them, it sounds like the other people are the problem in this situation, and I'm not even surprised that those people are acting like that. But anyway I wish you the best.

Yeah. Part of me kind of expected that sort of response cus this isn't the first time but I was just desperate for something. Last time I do anything like this again.

Most people don't listen to problems cause they feel awkward, the reason they rush to you when you try to ctb is because they will feel guilty, I know the feeling. I'm so alone but as soon as I talk about death, everyone comes rushing like a dog when they see a treat. If you need someone to talk to my dms are always open. I hope your able to find better friends

Thank you so much, mine are open as well. I hope we both are able to find better friends.

 

[90starve]

I've been thinking about that quite a bit, the whole complicated vs simple relationship sorta thing. It's made me question what friends really are for. Like, yes they are someone to have fun with, someone that you assume would listen to you and someone you hold dearly in your heart. Now, friends are just shallow. There is no real relationship. No real connection. It just sucks :/

yes, it's something i contemplate often too. i've just detested the idea of having friends recently because, as you said, everybody seems so shallow. people are so full of jealousy and hate. i think social media plays a bigger part in this than we even realise. but yeah, it all just really sucks - making friends now seems utterly pointless.