i just wanted to be understood. i just wanted someone to give me the same love and compassion and understanding i gave them. i gave everything, even my body, but it seems I'll still be alone in the end, as we're all destined to be. all i get is hatred, mockery, laughter, disgust, all sorts of things from people who just see me as words on a screen.
it's rough, guys. i want to say goodbye. i think it's for the best if i don't. I'll try something and if i fail I'll crawl back here. wish me luck.
Hope you are still alive. Your situation doesn't seem like it warrants death. You seek a healthy relationship and especially one where your partner can relate to you. This can definitely be attained, but it requires a strong will.
But if it's friends or strangers you are referring to then perhaps there is simply a misunderstanding.
To receive love = to express it.
Think about it. How do you feel when you rescue a cat/dog/bird/etc.? Do you feel fulfilled, especially when seeing their joyful reaction? If yes, well THAT'S love growing within you.
So perhaps the issue isn't in wanting to feel loved, but rather with wanting to be surrounded by empathic people. and the more you surround yourself with them the higher the chances that one of 'em becomes your partner. That takes effort and patience.
One last thing. Please keep in my that the environment we exist in does not nurture love, it nurtures the pursuit of pleasure in all of its forms (sex, materialism, boosting the ego, etc) and the avoidance of necessary pain.
Why is the entertainment industry filled with sexual allure and materialism (is it really just about money, or something much more sinister)? Why are women programmed to inject or cut themselves for a false sense of "beauty"? Why are boys programmed to become sex-seeking predatory men? Why are they trying to be "alpha" while lacking the moral/ethical ground-world to be a GOOD "alpha" who is loyal to his partner/ protects his family, and one who understands the concept behind "love thy neighbor" (i.e. building a strong and healthy community)?
Anyways, hope you still alive.