Is there no hope to feel better?

[Tysiiaczeq]

Is it possible to become a healthy individual after prolonged abuse? Abandonment/rape/sexual assault/sex trafficking/drug abuse/forced intoxication/leaked child p/physical n emotional abuse/incarcerated killer parent. What about when you add genetic predisposition to this? Am I a complete lost cause? I see people surviving the most vile conditions, war, neglect, accidents and they say they're fine. Is that true? Are they actually fine? Are they simply stronger? Obviously they don't curl up and cry but how? They keep themselves busy but there's always a moment during the day where it all suddenly haunts u, even for just a second.
Can a person truly recover from this, or is it always going to be a less than OK life? Im so young yet so exhausted.
How do you accept and move on? There is no point reliving this twice or thinking about it all the time. I know its pathetic sitting around and complaining. But it replays in my head over and over and I cant get away from it. The fear stays with me till this day, yet I was numb through it all. I want to love/be loved without holding myself back. I want to go to work and not be scared of loud noises and his lookalikes. I want to go dance again without it feeling like my lungs are on fire. I wanted to have kids so bad, more than anything in the world i wanted to be a mother - but now that will never be possible, kids deserve a normal parent.

They made the first attack but I ko'ed myself completely by being weak.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

Is it possible to become a healthy individual after prolonged abuse? Are they simply stronger? Obviously they don't curl up and cry but how? They keep themselves busy but there's always a moment during the day where it all suddenly haunts u, even for just a second.

When you put your question like that it would be a plain lie to claim that it's 100% not possible. You can't deny that some people have made a decent life for themselves in in the face of horrible fates.

Are they simply stronger? Obviously they don't curl up and cry but how? They keep themselves busy but there's always a moment during the day where it all suddenly haunts u, even for just a second.

Maybe. I believe that memories sting them as much as they sting you, they just may have better coping mechanisms.

Can a person truly recover from this, or is it always going to be a less than OK life?

This depends largely on what the future holds. The questions is, do you have the strength to be patient enough to wait and essentially hope that the future might hold some pleasant surprises? That's not much of an answer, but life is unpredictable and if you didn't ruin your body so completely you simply have zero chances of having a decent life, then maybe, just maybe, you have a chance. I don't know. I don't know your story. You can't escape your past, but if the possibility of a future exist even remotely then maybe you have a chance of rebuilding over the rubble.

 

[Someone123]

It really is possible to recover, but it varies some what it takes for each person, though some elemnets are the same it seems. Financial stability, having people who really care about you around you for a sustained period of time who will stay in yor life, and being away from abuse are key pieces. Other details depend on you, what you think about things, how you feel about things. Each case is different- finding things that help you feel better helps.

 

[Seven Threads]

Hello there, tysiak. I must say, I don't really have an easy or simple answer to your question. Honestly I'm not even sure it's possible to answer that question in a way that would satisfy everyone. There's so many complexities involved, and the exact nuances are going to be very different from person to person.

In a more general sense though, I'd say it depends on what recovery actually looks like to you. For instance, if recovery looks like feeling better, not hurting anymore, no longer being haunted by your past traumas...then I'd probably say no. Some hurts go too deep. They leave scars, they change the shape of you. And once that happens, that hurt is always going to be part of the shape of you. There's just no helping that. It can dull over time, smooth over a bit. With the right support and resources, many of these traumas can become a more distant pain, something that doesn't really affect you too much in the day to day. But they'll always be there. It's always going to hurt when you stop to think about it, or when something reminds you of a form of suffering you've been through.

But recovery doesn't have to look like that. It can also mean finding purpose, a reason to hold on, something worth fighting for. It can mean finding people who genuinely care about you, who can share your pain when it comes and give you the support you need to make it to the other side. It can be looking in the mirror, at the person staring back, and realizing that even though the hurt will always be there, it's not their fault. That they're just a person, someone who's suffered tremendously and needs love and compassion, not judgment. And it can mean finding those moments, those stupid, silly interactions with people that remind you, despite the pain and the trauma, that you're still able to feel joy, to laugh and play, to experience a moment in time for which you can say "This is good. This is worth it."

For me, a huge part of recovery was accepting that weakness you spoke of. Because it's true: I'm weak. I've fucked a lot of things up in my life. I've failed at things that were important, failed people. Sometimes repeatedly. I've struggled to get up in the morning, struggled to do anything at all once I did. Struggled to feel...anything. To be there for the people I care about. I often fail at my job, on those days when I just don't have it in me to give 100%. I'm weak.

But so is everyone else. I'm human. It's part of the package. Being weak in this way or that way, sometimes a lot of ways, that's just part of the deal, and even more so when your brain doesn't work the same as other people's, or you've had all kinds of trauma to shut down your development. Or both. My weakness is more than understandable. I'm not special, and there's no shame in it. The weakest and most vulnerable parts of me are the ones I need to comfort the most. They deserve it.

I think the same holds true with you. You've been severely hurt by all sorts of trauma. If you're weak, that's how it should be. You should've never needed to be strong in the first place. You should've had a chance to just be happy. And I know that saying this doesn't make the pain go away, and it doesn't make it any easier to bear. But if your definition of recovery is realistic and attainable, and you really want that future for yourself, it's something you deserve to have, no matter how weak you see yourself to be.

And if that isn't what you want, if you just want to be free of all the hurt...you deserve to be able to have that too.

 

[Iamhere2005]

Is it possible to become a healthy individual after prolonged abuse? Abandonment/rape/sexual assault/sex trafficking/drug abuse/forced intoxication/leaked child p/physical n emotional abuse/incarcerated killer parent. What about when you add genetic predisposition to this? Am I a complete lost cause? I see people surviving the most vile conditions, war, neglect, accidents and they say they're fine. Is that true? Are they actually fine? Are they simply stronger? Obviously they don't curl up and cry but how? They keep themselves busy but there's always a moment during the day where it all suddenly haunts u, even for just a second.
Can a person truly recover from this, or is it always going to be a less than OK life? Im so young yet so exhausted.
How do you accept and move on? There is no point reliving this twice or thinking about it all the time. I know its pathetic sitting around and complaining. But it replays in my head over and over and I cant get away from it. The fear stays with me till this day, yet I was numb through it all. I want to love/be loved without holding myself back. I want to go to work and not be scared of loud noises and his lookalikes. I want to go dance again without it feeling like my lungs are on fire. I wanted to have kids so bad, more than anything in the world i wanted to be a mother - but now that will never be possible, kids deserve a normal parent.

They made the first attack but I ko'ed myself completely by being weak.

You aren't weak. You were victimized. You have a severe injury to your brain and body.
I've come to believe we don't heal or recover—-WE HAVE TO LEARN TO ACCEPT OURSELVES. Accept ourselves as messed up, broken, wounded, injured. Sadly people can't see our injury so it's challenging. My thought is try to heal but more so learn to be with you as you are. Be nutty or neurotic or however you are. It's tough especially if we are socially inept. Just gotta keep learning how to be with ourselves. I dunno that's my thought.