Is there anything in this world that would keep you from killing yourself?

[esse_est_percipi]

I really feel it's better for me to not be here at all than to put my children through the trauma of divorce

What about the trauma of a parent who ctb's?
I'm not saying that to manipulate you or to get you to reconsider, I'm just wondering since you seem to be thinking of your children when it comes to divorce.
But maybe you have other reasons to ctb apart from that so excuse me if I've been impolite.

 

[TooConscious]

If it descended into chaos like a zombie apocalypse, nothing will ever happen though. It will continue as our standard of living continue to decline gradually whilst costs of living rise until the whole world is third world. Nothing exciting will happen. Because there's no humans with courage or will to stand up to the elite. Everyone's just on their bloody phones, so in a way saying that we're in a zombie apocalypse already actually... Just a smartphone zombies.

 

[Deathbydemo]

At this point no, there is not. I've had enough. I'm tired, weary, and just downright pissed off that I'm even able to sit here and write this.

 

[Fehler]

The possibility that things would change (financial stability, love...) but i feel it's me who must change so not sure .

 

[hypnotizing chickens]

Anything I can think of just leads to an indirect form of suicide. Like, being made emperor of the world would lead to my swift assassination and being given control of my nations nuclear weapons would lead to the intended nuclear retaliation. If I had money I would be dead in less than a year from drug use. Im too stubborn to change my mindset or philosophy because I know I'm right. They would have to reprogram me entirely and start over

 

[greebo6]

I'm probably too far gone to not end it at some point , maybe soon , but there's probably a few things that could maybe delay the inevitable for a while.
Falling in love and , just as importantly , that person feeling the same , suddenly having a lot of money , etc...….

 

[Squiddy]

No more feeling incompetent (I can only get that way by weed, though I can't be high all the time), no more articulation issues, actually being able to understand what people are saying to me sometimes without having to ask them to repeat what they just said, no more mental illnesses and a couple million dollars or more. If I could have all that, I'd want to live, but it'll never happen unfortunately and at this point, I'm just living for family and friends.

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

If I'm allowed be unrealistic here:
If I magically woke up w/ the parts I wanted.
If I had guaranteed financial stability.
If I magically had the ability to communicate with people properly.
If I had friends and my panic disorder was nonexistent.
I think I could bare it.

 

[Buffy5120]

At this point no, there is not. I've had enough. I'm tired, weary, and just downright pissed off that I'm even able to sit here and write this.

Amen to that

 

[Bauhaus]

If we're talking unrealistically: being in perfect health.

 

[SpinningSong]

Time travel

 

[There Look! Nothing]

I used to think having enough money that I wouldn't care about anything, but no I think the loneliness would still get me in the end. If not that then something else, there's just too many things. It was always going to end this way from a certain point. Unless I could go back in time to the literal moment of my birth and live a completely different life I honestly think I'm one of those people that were just fucked from the start.

 

[Lilacmoon]

Only if I was suddenly granted the power to manipulate every aspect of reality...

 

[Lost in a Dream]

There are currently a few things keeping me from killing myself now, but they are little more than psychological hurdles that I will need to get past eventually. The survival instinct is probably one of them, but I haven't made any attempts yet, so I'm not sure how strong it is. There is also the fear of hurting my family and that's about it.

I would say that there is nothing in this world that would make the desire to do it go away, but it would be nice if I could postpone it for a couple of years and spend that entire time just doing fun things so I don't have to constantly think about suicide. $1+ million would be great. I could quit my job and spend the next 2 years having fun and then CTB at the end of those 2 years. I would still have enough saved up to help my family out after I was gone.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Actually nothing. I'm just doing time.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Taking away my vertigo.

I almost learnt to control myself, I was even trying to get some art courses! Stayed out of psych and kept everything low profile, if I hurt myself, I hide it. Learnt to kinda control my impulses most of the time. Started to even think ONE DAY I might achieve something.

Then the spinning started and my balance fucked off, and Im in Hell, doctors refuse to treat me and I wish it would stop.
Im bending over backwards, constantly finding ways to try and mitigate it, and it just steadily gets worse, its so ironic that I will be driven to suicide by a treatable illness. If it could be treated it would not have come to this!

Yea nothings wrong with me, Im fine.

 

[rabbithole]

I don't want to die at all but feel I have to because of my physical condition. It is a permanent pain condition that I cannot escape from and almost no treatment is effective, including morphine.

 

[elzo5678]

A miraculous cure for all my mental illnesses. I'd have no reason to die. Maybe I still wouldn't be happy, but I wouldn't feel plagued and tortured on a daily basis.

 

[dysfunctional]

If I could send messages to my past self to correct past mistakes.

 

[stygal]

If Scientists were able to find a solution to stop the brain from sending the wrong/too much information down my nervous system then yes. I would be able to use my limbs normally and finally start living again.

 

[Painless_end]

Being away from civilization yet having all basic needs met like food clothing shelter security and a daily sense of meaning about my existence

 

[Lilacmoon]

being killed. having all my limbs removed. being locked up in a psych ward. all of that would prevent me from killing myself probably. nothing else probably.

 

[XYZ]

And if so, what would it be? Sex? Love? Money?

Mental and physical health which would give me the ability and strength to deal with the problems in my life.

 

[draw a circle]

I can't put it into things but if i could spend my life doing only things i want and have a job where I don't have to appease people personally to just earn money (like i have to act extra nice instead of decent and have to deal with assholes in power) i think i would be fine lol. I could spend my life drawing and writing and probably have a job as a writer or a translator and it would be a good life

 

[Johan]

My daughters. I have 2 of them, and I do anything for them, so for me the option of suicide is now gone.
I constantly think about death and longing for it. Can't even function now'adays. I'm fading away feeling that I'm a worse parent every day. But I need to be there for them even though all I want is to die. So for me there is only years and years of pain, shame, hate and anxiety waiting until my mind cracks.

 

[Caspers]

My memories returning would help a lot. I miss them. I wish I could get them back, but those brain cells were killed by asphyxiation. It wouldn't cure me, but it would help with some of my issues.

 

[AllReturnsToNothing]

Something's keeping me tied here apparently because I haven't killed myself yet. Not sure what exactly but it's probably stubborn curiosity more than anything. Maybe a bit of guilt. Some foolish hopes. Wish I could get rid of those burdens and move on already.

 

[Rustysoupcan]

Right now, my boyfriend is keeping me alive because I dont want to hurt him. Other than that, maybe a ton of money. But like you said after I buy everything I could ever want I would be depressed again and wanna ctb.

 

[bov]

The ability to form attachments. I don't know what emotional intimacy feels like, though lots of people have said they feel close to me. And without that, I also don't feel a bunch of other social things like jealousy, loss, yearning of any kind, love, loyalty, patriotism, friendship, fondness, or benevolence. I'm not sadistic, I'm just creepily neutral. If I had a baby I'd probably feel as close to him/her as I would to anyone else's.

I used to hope it was just numbness or repression, or maybe autism, but I'm just not wired right. It's always been this way. I think something happened to me when I was really, really young—maybe before I started forming memories.

It probably sounds like a blessing—especially given how many people on here are suffering from not having been loved enough—but it's horrible. I don't know how to describe it. I'd give anything to be different.

My daughters. I have 2 of them, and I do anything for them, so for me the option of suicide is now gone.
I constantly think about death and longing for it. Can't even function now'adays. I'm fading away feeling that I'm a worse parent every day. But I need to be there for them even though all I want is to die. So for me there is only years and years of pain, shame, hate and anxiety waiting until my mind cracks.

I really admire the people on here who are staying alive for their children. You're fighting the good fight (or what have you).

 

[Viceroy]

LOVE LOVE LOVE