Help Is there anything in this world that could make me happy?

[fleshpuppet]

I am of the belief that life is worth living only if the individual experiences, on the whole, more pleasure than suffering. For the last 5 years of my life I cannot honestly say that I've been in a state of happiness or contentedness for longer than a day at a time. By most metrics, I live a good life -- I have no trauma, my family is well off, I have a good education, supportive parents. And yet I cannot even imagine a scenario in which I would be happy. It's as though nothing I could have been given, or have yet to receive would change the outcome I find myself in. I'm 18 years old, in my final year of highschool, and nearly at the crossroads of deciding what to study at university. What am I supposed to do? Killing myself would be irresponsible of me to do -- those around me would be blindsided, causing emotional distress, not to mention my family's expectations that I secure their retirement -- and infeasible for any methods I'd be willing to do are unavailable in my situation.
I know there are things I could to improve my life, like exercising, reading, going outside more, but it's so hard to commit to these things when I feel like there's no future for me. There's also an existential aspect to it, but I won't get into it here.
I wonder if relationships (i.e. platonic and/or romantic) would make me happy. I've yet to rule them out as I don't believe I've ever had any strong relationships. I have friends (whom I dislike) and family but I keep them at a distance. Whatever 'emotional bond' we're supposed to develop to our parents as ingrained in our biology I must not have received, for I see them how I imagine a stranger would. In general, I find it very difficult to trust anyone. I'm not great at making new friends due to my antisocial behaviour and social ineptitude I've developed from self isolation, and I'm not tall enough to be automatically attractive to women. The fact I'm even on this forum probably means I'm cooked.
These are my circumstances. Far from a tragedy, and yet I fell hopeless. Anyway, any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

 

[NameOfAction]

You have just recently become an adult. You can work for 4-5 months while living with your parents and have enough money to fuck off on a tour of Europe. (That's what I did and met others who've done it)

Go hiking in your nearest reserve or national park, wherever you are.
Try promiscuity and see if suits you, try on different roles and masks. Go on a road trip! Do work & travel, volunteer in a far off sunny county, try working in a high-end office, try living with a friend or a lover, consider that you are now free to do anything.

You've been shut up in shackles of childhood and dependence, you are no longer

Uni is fine too, especially in a far off sunny country

 

[fleshpuppet]

You have just recently become an adult. You can work for 4-5 months while living with your parents and have enough money to fuck off on a tour of Europe. (That's what I did and met others who've done it)

Go hiking in your nearest reserve or national park, wherever you are.
Try promiscuity and see if suits you, try on different roles and masks. Go on a road trip! Do work & travel, volunteer in a far off sunny county, try working in a high-end office, try living with a friend or a lover, consider that you are now free to do anything.

You've been shut up in shackles of childhood and dependence, you are no longer

Uni is fine too, especially in a far off sunny country

I was thinking of taking a trip to the cheapest place I can find (Vietnam) when school's done. But what does one do as a tourist?

 

[NameOfAction]

I was thinking of taking a trip to the cheapest place I can find (Vietnam) when school's done. But what does one do as a tourist?

Hike! Swim! See the waterfalls and springs, hot springs! Visit impressive natural and human built structures. Meet people via couch surfing and soicals, hangout and explore together