Help is there anything i can do?

[deletedaccount30982]

in my progressively deteriorating mental health over the past few months i have taken myself off my medications. one of which was a mood stabilizer i had been on for two years, another was an SSRI i had been on for four a half years. i am not regretting this because while my suicidal thoughts are no different, i feel very erratic and all over the place, impulsive, angry, and many other things that aren't my usual self. i want to go back on them but because it's been so long, i don't remember how slowly my doctors took to get me up to my doses without going too quickly. no one knows i went off my meds and i have no interest in telling anyone as that would open the can of worms as to how bad i am doing which would lead to hospitalizations among many other negative things. am i too late? is there any way i can fix this? god i fucked up. maybe i should just ctb

 

[jodes2]

Please I hope you go back to your psychiatrist and have them put you back on slowly please don't CTB, we all love you here, you'd be missed

 

[freedomcalls]

Personally I'd start with a low dose (maybe whatever potency your lowest pill is of each?) and see how you feel

The wise thing to do would be to speak to whoever prescribed it, but I know that I wouldn't do that either

Good luck figuring it out… hopefully it will help x

 

[Forever Sleep]

Could you fib or something and say they were giving you headaches or making you nauseous? That you know you should have told them you had stopped taking them but you felt ok initially but now you realise it was a mistake? It does sound the sort of thing that needs to be monitored by a doctor. I'm so sorry.

 

[deletedaccount30982]

i've decided to start at 1/3 of the dose i was on of the mood stabilizer and 1/2 of the dose of the antidepressant i was on and i will increase a to 2/3 of the mood stabilizer and a full dose of the ssri in two weeks
update: after discussing with someone in my real life about how i'm feeling without revealing i've been having ctb thoughts, i think i'm going to take a break from this site. i am sure i will be back at some point but for the time being i am going to try to give myself space to think