Help is there any way to make people understand before ctb?

[dental]

i really and truly do want to die, and i fully intend on killing myself, but i guess i just want some thoughts/advice on the biggest thing i feel guilty about regarding it all. i don't want to pass my pain on to my brother. he's 18; i'm his closest friend and his strongest source of support, and i know that he would not cope well with my death. i'm wondering if there's any possible way to explain myself to him in a way that would make him understand and accept my decision. if possible, i'd like to leave him on good terms rather than as a traumatic violent surprise.

this might not be possible, of course, and there's the possibility he would tell someone and get me locked up, ruining my opportunity to ctb and making things worse for everyone involved. i don't like how unpredictable this all is. i wish i knew how he'd react.

i know he's dealt with suicidal ideation before too, and i'm unsure whether that would make him understand my perspective more, or if it would just make him more likely to act on that when i am gone. maybe some of both.

i hate this whole situation. i wish i didn't have these ties to the living world, and could just leave it when i please without hurting anyone.

 

[DoubleUp8]

It's complicated in your case even more because your brother has suicidal ideation as well. Certainly he will understand about your situation, but unfortunately he will be more likely to act on it if you do. Sounds like you are both very young people. So please try any and all alternatives b4 ctb.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd personally just see it as better to leave a note for the individual to read afterwards which can act as an explanation, telling people just sounds so risky to me, I wouldn't see it as the best idea as it could cause them to interfere in plans.