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Need2Escape

Member
Jun 4, 2021
77
Hi,

My main struggle has been with not been able to build a meaningful or successful career. I often feel inadequate or not capable enough to perform in a work environment and feel not as bright and capable as others in the work place. Definitely have a self-confidence\low self-esteem issues at work. I never got sacked but in my early years I often moved quite quickly between jobs due to nature of my contracting work. Later when I went from contracting to permanent employment the maximum I held that job was for 3 years.
At age 35 after struggling with this work place stress, I stated working for myself in a hope that I will avoid the stress and anxiety around workplace but even in those last 15 years of working for myself I had episodes of depression while I struggled to grow and maximize the business. I conclude that my depression is related to income and my lack of confidence around building a successful career\business, despite been a graduate. This lack of financial security has been at the core of my depression episodes as my depression episodes had always coincided with turbulence in job or business.
I will say I am a bit of an introvert but do feel that I do manage ok in social circles. I believe I am good looking. Have a decent social circle. I can work tirelessly around the house fixing/painting/gardening etc and do enjoy life generally. But when I am in my depression phase I stop enjoying anything and everything and get consumed with self-doubt and can't function at all.
I am going through the mother of all depressions, now that at 50 I find myself living all alone and on the brink of divorce and have been in a depression for last 8 months with no sight of ever been able to recover. The security of family life and finances removed as both me and my stbx worked so despite me not doing too well personally we did ok as a couple.

In the past my depression episodes only lasted a few months at the most. As and when I felt I was going downhill or went downhill the anti-depressants helped and within 3-5 weeks of medication I started feeling better and back to my usual self.

I am not broke (yet), still somehow managing to run my business but it has been 8 months since the separation and the anxiety of a lonely life and financial insecurities have taken its full toll, I wonder how many people are in depression due to financial insecurities alone and if there is a technical\medical term for this form of depression?

N
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,801
They've already medicalized most aspects of living in a shitty society (anxiety, stress, relationship problems, you name it), wouldn't be surprised if they started handing out shitty SSRIs for people that lack money as well.
 
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S

Smart No More

Visionary
May 5, 2021
2,734
There's a thing in many professions and particularly noted in the world of art and crafts. It's referred to as 'imposter syndrome'. It doesn't mean you're inadequate. More that you feel inadequate by comparison to your peers and your perceived ability but really it's just that your eye is better than your hand. So for example you can see the faults in your painting/work due to the fact you're always analysing your work and your hand is playing catch up in applying the things your eye is learning. There's always a shortfall but on a sliding scale you're constantly improving whilst you always perceive the deficit rather than the improvement. It's necessary for improvement and It makes your work better but always plays on your self perception. This applies in various skills and can be translated over to life too. It's the blessing and curse of self analysis. Often you will note that peolple who are very confident and seemingly ignorant to their shortfalls will often actually be ignorant to their respective works of a lower quality than top. They are happy to get along with par or slightly below and people will go along with it because it makes them uncomfortable to call them out. It can be frustrating to witness when you put such pressure on yourself. You may hold yourself to a high standard and answer to yourself rather than others which is something I personally consider very honourable so please don't change that. Some base their view of theirselves on the way others respond to them but never actually really know theirselves honestly. They are ignorant to reality and therefore live in a blissful ignorance.

It's very common for mental health issues to be present in financial institutions and high stakes high pressure jobs. Often it is a mix of different condition that can cause a perfect storm of shit. If you really want to get to the bottom of things you should speak with a psychologist. You may well be having a very natural reaction to your situation and its way to easy to blame it on a 'condition' when really you're only suffering the human condition and the impact of other humans cumulative action and the unfortunate results they have on many.

Unless you are lucky to find a certified professional on the forums you are unlikely to get a decent answer to your question. Certainly not a diagnosis. I think you would benefit hugely from talking with a reputable psychologist. Can you speak with your doctor and get a referral? Sounds like you've spoken with the docs about this to some extent but anti depressants in these case tend to mask the problem for a period and then you stop them and find yourself returning back to the problem you were essentially hiding from.

The best thing anybody can do in life is search themselves honestly for the core reasons for their problems/feelings. It can be very challenging but hugely rewarding to face ourselves head on honestly. I would like to suggest that it is actually perfectly ok to be vulnerable, wrong and flawed. We arw all in this together and there should be no pandering to our knee jerk instinctive reactions to defend/attack in fears of our shortfalls/weeknesses being reveiled or left exposed. Once you grasp that concept it's surprisingly liberating and strengthening. It throws people that are ruled by ego and fears through a loop. Particularly when they're on the offensive.

Our culture has become a culture of treating symptoms rather than the cause. This will never be the answer and I think it kind of stems from the fact that doctors to some extent are winging things. For example it's assumed that when you have a fever you should suppress it and there are medicines/drugs sold for this purpose however doing so is not beneficial on our health. In fact the opposite. Fever is our body working to mount a counter attack to a foreign body. Its litterally activity in the immune system mounting defense and the vibration of the cells creates heat. Doc's don't have all the answers (they would prefer you to think so because it suits their business model) and when you think of where they come from.... They used to sell tinctures and all sorts of remedies from a horse and kart and most of them wouldn't work, often having adverse reactions. Even when things/civilisation developed and some merit could be found they still carried out all sorts of treatments with ill if affect. Even to this day! You only need to look at the packaging on some of the barbiturates sold only a couple of decades ago to see that actually it's a business with some ill advised assumptions added in order to market their products. This has not ended. We're just better at deception these days. It's really quite terrible and those anti depressants they're happy to throw at you are all a part of it. They don't fully understand why they do what they do. Just enough marginal info to market them and get them past 'safety standards'. Much like the twisting and scewing of truthes we see on other professions/businesses (fast food outlets/energy suppliers/Internet providers etc) and the manipulation of advertising, medicine and more so the peddlers of medicine are just as guilty of these things. Somehow we walk into a doctors office these days and feel like we're sitting in front of a sort of authority figure and even worse they feel this way too and will speak to and treat you this way. It's been forgotten that they are public servants and are living off of our unavoidable illnesses. It is opportunistic bottom feeding. Now don't get me wrong, there are aome wonderdul practioners and I highly respect and commend those people as I do with the absolutely amazing progressions in science and medicine that havw been made and continue to do so. The issue is that the medical system as a whole has capitalised on our collective awe and assumed greatness ans infallibility on the back of it and now they rule over us rather than treating us with the care or bedside manner than was onced assumed a basic human right. This has occurred over the last 20 odd years and is having a detrimental impact on us overall.

So this is why I suggest a psychologist. As opposed to to a psychiatrist who would treat you with meds, a psychologist will treat you holistically and use meds as the last resort. They may be the last bastion of the medical world because they are more scientific in their approach. Speaking form a personal stand point I can say that I have been offered antidepressants many times when I have never needed them. It was offered by general practitioners that had no knowledge of me and didn't have the inclination to do the leg work to understand my actual problem. They just want to get through their daily load of patients as quickly as possible. There is no objective investigation there at all. On the other hand, once I got referred to a psychologist they asked a very poignant question which is so obvious it's frustrating.... They asked... "If the problems you face (in my case physical health issues) would you be depressed or sad?" For me the answer is a resounding no. It was a breath of fresh air to speak with somebody with some actual sense and they are now writing to my relevant medical professionals to tell them their assumptions of mental health issues are incorrect. They told me that my reaction to my peoblems is a natural reaction ans taking meds to hide those problems is a temporary fix that just masks the issue. I already knew this and was elated to be finally vindicated by a professional. I suspect that in your case you may havr a somilar result from speaking with a psychologist, and whilst your symptoms are of a different nature I think they will help you to identify the root of your worries and help you find ways to cope with them once identified without the counter productive act of masking them for brief periods and essentially going in every decreasing circles as you circle the pit of despair. They are holistic and subjective in their approach as opposed to psychiatrist that are part of the pharmaceutical business model that does nothing but treat symptoms not problems.

I wish you the best!
 
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Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
Depressive realism
 
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Dear Agony

Dear Agony

The Void
Jan 24, 2020
296
Depression is depression, actually. Yes, it is an imbalance of chemicals in the brain; but it can be triggered by multiple environmental factors, or it might not have an outside reason at all. The reason you have a mental illness does not alter the diagnosis.
 
Made4TV

Made4TV

A hopeless hope junkie
Sep 17, 2018
575
I've heard it from mental health people as situational depression, and it's really seen as an adjustment disorder. Like you can't adjust to how shitty people and society as a whole are. Or like not being able to adjust to shitty circumstances. Also will bet good money the people who come up with this shit ain't lived some of the lives of people here. We shouldn't have to adjust to this level of bullshit. Imo.
 
S

Smart No More

Visionary
May 5, 2021
2,734
I've heard it from mental health people as situational depression, and it's really seen as an adjustment disorder. Like you can't adjust to how shitty people and society as a whole are. Or like not being able to adjust to shitty circumstances. Also will bet good money the people who come up with this shit ain't lived some of the lives of people here. We shouldn't have to adjust to this level of bullshit. Imo.
What's insane to me is that they prescribe mind altering medications for these things but frown on recreational drugs/self medicating. Many of which are much less harmful than the meds prescribed in many ways. But more importantly they've taken a stance on chosing drug/medication induced ignorance over reality and its so unfathomable to me. Why hide from reality on a long term basis?! Shouldn't healthcare/medical institutions as a whole united front reflect to government and society that something is terribly wrong somehow? Treat the cause not the symptom!! Those words/that phrase is very poignant to me. I understand there is scope for medical intervention in many cases but I bet its a third of the people actually medicated. There's too much money in it for the powers that be to actually make some real beneficial decisions. Instead they maintine the status quo whilst lying through smiling teeth, edging their way ever closer to the edge of the logical conclusion that is the end of civility. In fact that's pretty much already gone. It only lives amongst the few that are entrapped in this slave world.
Sorry. Gone right off course/topic there. I let my thought process run away with me.
I think that some of the feelings you describe are potentially anxiety based OP. As you have touched on. I definitely think there are many people suffering the same pressures and dissatisfaction in life as you and we're forced into it in our current modern society. Everything is high pressure and over complicated. It's a trade off between our natural instinct for foraging and hunting vs ciivilisation/conveinience. I'm not sure which is best but there's no opt out available anyway. Its not like we can say fuck it. I'm going to leave, find a plot of land, claim it as my own, build a shelter and hunt for survival. Not without reems of paperwork and litigation. We've kind of had our nature taken from us and government is now our 'god and slaver'. Prentending to be our saviour of course. There is such scope for middle ground. Everybody onnthis planet could live a very comfortable life but there's no fair distribution of resources because of greed and ignorance. We're evovling, sure, but we could be so much more and do so little damage to our planet. But no, lets rape it because fuck you, you can't do shit about it and we want our money and will kill and rape those that stand in our way because we already have enough money and power to get away with it in broad daylight.

Sorry, thoughts running away with me again. Probably talking utter shite but there's some logic and sense in there somewhere I promise, :))
 
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S

SuicidallyCurious

Enlightened
Dec 20, 2020
1,715
They told ya that their fake USD was gonna make you happy . They had to genocide entire nations to prop up its value and they wonder why citizens of the rich countries are unsatisfied no matter how much they have of it ?
 
dearlybeloved998

dearlybeloved998

Lost and confused
Dec 10, 2021
36
Hi,

My main struggle has been with not been able to build a meaningful or successful career. I often feel inadequate or not capable enough to perform in a work environment and feel not as bright and capable as others in the work place. Definitely have a self-confidence\low self-esteem issues at work. I never got sacked but in my early years I often moved quite quickly between jobs due to nature of my contracting work. Later when I went from contracting to permanent employment the maximum I held that job was for 3 years.
At age 35 after struggling with this work place stress, I stated working for myself in a hope that I will avoid the stress and anxiety around workplace but even in those last 15 years of working for myself I had episodes of depression while I struggled to grow and maximize the business. I conclude that my depression is related to income and my lack of confidence around building a successful career\business, despite been a graduate. This lack of financial security has been at the core of my depression episodes as my depression episodes had always coincided with turbulence in job or business.
I will say I am a bit of an introvert but do feel that I do manage ok in social circles. I believe I am good looking. Have a decent social circle. I can work tirelessly around the house fixing/painting/gardening etc and do enjoy life generally. But when I am in my depression phase I stop enjoying anything and everything and get consumed with self-doubt and can't function at all.
I am going through the mother of all depressions, now that at 50 I find myself living all alone and on the brink of divorce and have been in a depression for last 8 months with no sight of ever been able to recover. The security of family life and finances removed as both me and my stbx worked so despite me not doing too well personally we did ok as a couple.

In the past my depression episodes only lasted a few months at the most. As and when I felt I was going downhill or went downhill the anti-depressants helped and within 3-5 weeks of medication I started feeling better and back to my usual self.

I am not broke (yet), still somehow managing to run my business but it has been 8 months since the separation and the anxiety of a lonely life and financial insecurities have taken its full toll, I wonder how many people are in depression due to financial insecurities alone and if there is a technical\medical term for this form of depression?

N
Sounds like you have a highly neurotic personality, you're very prone to feelings of sadness and stress. Of course that's not a mental disorder, just a personality pattern. It's one of the Big Five personality factors (the Ocean acronym) along with Openness to experience, conscienciousness, and agreeableness. The N stands for neuroticism.
 
J

Julgran

Enlightened
Dec 15, 2021
1,427
No-coin-iosis may fit the bill.

I understand your fear - I'm experiencing some of that myself :wink:
 
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