N
Need2Escape
Member
- Jun 4, 2021
- 77
Hi,
My main struggle has been with not been able to build a meaningful or successful career. I often feel inadequate or not capable enough to perform in a work environment and feel not as bright and capable as others in the work place. Definitely have a self-confidence\low self-esteem issues at work. I never got sacked but in my early years I often moved quite quickly between jobs due to nature of my contracting work. Later when I went from contracting to permanent employment the maximum I held that job was for 3 years.
At age 35 after struggling with this work place stress, I stated working for myself in a hope that I will avoid the stress and anxiety around workplace but even in those last 15 years of working for myself I had episodes of depression while I struggled to grow and maximize the business. I conclude that my depression is related to income and my lack of confidence around building a successful career\business, despite been a graduate. This lack of financial security has been at the core of my depression episodes as my depression episodes had always coincided with turbulence in job or business.
I will say I am a bit of an introvert but do feel that I do manage ok in social circles. I believe I am good looking. Have a decent social circle. I can work tirelessly around the house fixing/painting/gardening etc and do enjoy life generally. But when I am in my depression phase I stop enjoying anything and everything and get consumed with self-doubt and can't function at all.
I am going through the mother of all depressions, now that at 50 I find myself living all alone and on the brink of divorce and have been in a depression for last 8 months with no sight of ever been able to recover. The security of family life and finances removed as both me and my stbx worked so despite me not doing too well personally we did ok as a couple.
In the past my depression episodes only lasted a few months at the most. As and when I felt I was going downhill or went downhill the anti-depressants helped and within 3-5 weeks of medication I started feeling better and back to my usual self.
I am not broke (yet), still somehow managing to run my business but it has been 8 months since the separation and the anxiety of a lonely life and financial insecurities have taken its full toll, I wonder how many people are in depression due to financial insecurities alone and if there is a technical\medical term for this form of depression?
N
My main struggle has been with not been able to build a meaningful or successful career. I often feel inadequate or not capable enough to perform in a work environment and feel not as bright and capable as others in the work place. Definitely have a self-confidence\low self-esteem issues at work. I never got sacked but in my early years I often moved quite quickly between jobs due to nature of my contracting work. Later when I went from contracting to permanent employment the maximum I held that job was for 3 years.
At age 35 after struggling with this work place stress, I stated working for myself in a hope that I will avoid the stress and anxiety around workplace but even in those last 15 years of working for myself I had episodes of depression while I struggled to grow and maximize the business. I conclude that my depression is related to income and my lack of confidence around building a successful career\business, despite been a graduate. This lack of financial security has been at the core of my depression episodes as my depression episodes had always coincided with turbulence in job or business.
I will say I am a bit of an introvert but do feel that I do manage ok in social circles. I believe I am good looking. Have a decent social circle. I can work tirelessly around the house fixing/painting/gardening etc and do enjoy life generally. But when I am in my depression phase I stop enjoying anything and everything and get consumed with self-doubt and can't function at all.
I am going through the mother of all depressions, now that at 50 I find myself living all alone and on the brink of divorce and have been in a depression for last 8 months with no sight of ever been able to recover. The security of family life and finances removed as both me and my stbx worked so despite me not doing too well personally we did ok as a couple.
In the past my depression episodes only lasted a few months at the most. As and when I felt I was going downhill or went downhill the anti-depressants helped and within 3-5 weeks of medication I started feeling better and back to my usual self.
I am not broke (yet), still somehow managing to run my business but it has been 8 months since the separation and the anxiety of a lonely life and financial insecurities have taken its full toll, I wonder how many people are in depression due to financial insecurities alone and if there is a technical\medical term for this form of depression?
N