Discussion Is there a correlation between personal space and attractiveness?

[thetwilightzone]

Here me out. I go on the double-decker bus here in Ireland and I've always wondered why some people (in particular women) are okay with me sitting close together with arms touching, thighs touching and even feet while others move away.

You'll might say that I'm overthinking it but surely I think there has to be a correlation no? There was a girl who was attracted to me in 7th grade (she said it) and she once slept over in class with falling on me. I put tried to wake her up by putting my hand on her thigh and she woke up but did nothing. Now, if she found me repulsive, do you think she would have been okay with that.

 

[Jon]

A light touch, such as when one's arm gently presses on a female's, can be deeply sensual. I remember at uni there was a girl I liked who had a boyfriend but there was a connection between us. She asked me a question about the computer and I got up and stood behind her in class and started to move her mouse. As I did, our arms gently brushed against each other's and I held it there while fixing the computer, but my mind had been taken over by a somewhat sexual passionate sensation of warmth, but even though our arms were lightly touching and we could each have pulled away, I didn't want to, and I suspect she didn't want to either as she didn't pull away, even though she did have a boyfriend.

I've long noted this sensual sensation of a light touch, and it does happen occasionally. I don't believe all women sense it, but some do. As to your question regarding girls on the bus in your case then yes, I would agree that those who didn't pull away are taking some pleasure from it and may like you, or at least your touch, or they may not have noticed. Those who pull away may be dating, or they may not want to feel this sensation or just want some space as I'm sure Ireland is culturally similar to England in that people don't touch and so any touching would make them feel uncomfortable.

A few years ago a woman older than me had her arm touching mine in an innocent way, but because I didn't like her I pulled away, quite abruptly in fact. She noted this and was hurt by me doing so though didn't say anything at the time, but she did mention it the next time I saw her, a week later and was rather upset that I had done so.

Ex girlfriends have mentioned this, and they did like a gentle touch on their body, and some a gentle stroke through the hair, and they commented that they like this light touch and when I stopped they often asked me to continue. But the impact is felt even more with a woman who you're not dating, especially if there's some invisible chemistry between you which can only be felt through the mind, but can be released and exchanged through touch. Generally speaking, the girls who pull away have a boyfriend and so naturally don't feel comfortable, as even the lightest touch can arouse the senses. In fact, the lighter the touch, the stronger the arousal.

A James Bond theme, I think Goldfinger or The Spy who Loved Me says "he's got the lightest touch". I think it's by Carly Simons but I'd need to check.

 

[2211264]

Im not sure if its entirely about your physical "attractiveness"
I sat next to a lady on train journey. It was a 3 person wide bench seat on a 4hr train trip. I was sitting on one side of her and her partner/husband was sitting on the other side.
I could tell he was with her because of the way he leaned onto her and his conversations with her when I first sat down next to them.
I wasn't attracted to the lady and she wasn't a very attractive lady either. Not ugly at all just a nice looking normal person. I'm a bit of an ugly fuda mucka in my opinion.
After a while of sitting together her husband fell asleep leaning on her and I started slowly moving closer to her until our bodies and side of our thighs were touching. I then kind of leaned a little on her and fell asleep.
I didn't find her attractive, I wasn't trying to feel her up or get anything sexual from it. It was just kinda nice and comforting.
The train eventually stopped and we all got off and went into the city.
.....
Now here's the WEIRD bit!
...
I was walking around in the city several hours later and I passed The same lady and her husband on the side walk of a street and we made eye contact and she smiled at me in a weird way, like a friendly caring smile. And her eye contact lasted longer than usual.
I don't know why? Just a weird thing that happened??

 

[worldexploder]

That is actually true.

If you're ugly like me, people will not give a motherfuck about you no matter how good you are. People will feel uneasy around you and/or avoid you. Unattractive people are easy targets for manipulators and users because they know we appreciate the attention more.

People are more empathetic towards the physically attractive. Go no further than Youtube. Watch a "hot girl" cry over first world problems and get love. Then watch someone who's overweight or unattractive talk shout real problems just to get made fun of in the comment secton and dislikes galore. It's heartbreaking.

People with symmetrical faces are more genetically diverse therefore seen by the human animal as "good stock" to pass on their DNA to future offspring. That's all it is. True love don't exist.

 

[Sayo]

Yes. A correlation. It's not everything, and attractiveness is interrelated with other determinants, like body language, but it definitely influences how willing people are to have you near them.

As an ugly disabled person, I have absolutely no problem maintaining my personal space, at least.

Also, in some cases, people may be too intimidated to move rather than attracted, although I doubt that was the case in your story.

 

[Jon]

People with symmetrical faces are more genetically diverse therefore seen by the human animal as "good stock" to pass on their DNA to future offspring. That's all it is. True love don't exist.

Symmetrical faces aren't an indication of genetic diversity, but of genetic health. It's an indication that the person has good genes and was well nourished as a child. Like a well-cared for and tender flower will display her beautifully symmetrical petals, but only if it had been well watered and absorbed enough of the sun while growing. The reason for this is that it requires genetic strength to grow symmetrically, and so like the flowering petals, when wide and vividly colourful will attract the bee, so too a human face, when perfectly formed will attract the female. But I've read some later research regarding this and there's a lot of doubt amongst the scientific community, as recent experiments have indicated otherwise, and so other factors may be involved as well.

Passing on the correct DNA is obviously unquestionable, yet there have been studies as to why some men or women date physically handicapped people, and the results suggest that this could also be through genes, although the genes passed on won't be for beauty but for the disabled person's physical mental strength or intellect. Remember it's not all about appearance, there are other factors involved as well, especially as we get older. Physical strength is also a factor, as some women prefer a well toned and strong man to a pretty boy. The same applies to men, many men prefer a gorgeous body over a pretty face, while others prefer the face. This is what creates natural genetic diversity, but also gives a chance to those who aren't naturally beautiful. Nature and evolution isn't so cruel as to not give everyone a chance to reproduce, though admittedly does make it easier for some than for others, and some do slip through the net so to speak and their genes wiped from the face of the planet.

Love either exists or it doesn't, the adjective "true" is mans' addition. But love rarely lasts a lifetime, and in most cases just long enough to produce offspring and stay with the female until the child is able to fend for himself.