Venting Is something wrong with me if I actively sought the men for experience is it my fault I was abused? Or is it correlated to porn addiction

[Journeytoletgo]

I'm beginning to think it's my fault. A smart person that realizes they are prey wouldn't actively seek online men to date and get sexual with. I think it was my porn and masturbation addiction. I'm really beginning to think it's my fault because I was too dumb to realize we lived in a predatory system. Is it my fault? What girl who is aware would seek men online seriously ? Something is WRONG with me. Then I did it again seeking out men for sex online. Is it the porn and masturbation that begun this cycle? I'm seriously jealous of woman that realize we are in a predatory system and men are at the top of the food chain. I'm terrified of everything now and can't leave the house, I can't fix my hair, I just lay in bed

 

[whatevs]

What happened though? Were you abused? If it was something consensual between two adults it shouldn't be traumatic.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

What happened though? Were you abused? If it was something consensual between two adults it shouldn't be traumatic.

The first guy took advantage of me and he was coercing me and forcing me to do oral things like pressuring me. I feel this broke my boundaries so then I actively looked for men online to have sex with. I'm just now realizing my mistake being easy. Then the last guy I offered him sex the first night that is HORRIBLE and not good behavior.

 

[whatevs]

The first guy took advantage of me and he was coercing me and forcing me to do oral things like pressuring me. I feel this broke my boundaries so then I actively looked for men online to have sex with. I'm just now realizing my mistake being easy. Then the last guy I offered him sex the first night that is HORRIBLE and not good behavior.

You should try to think about this more rationally. You are young and you sought sexual experiences. It's normal. And it's also normal that some of these sexual experiences would be uncomfortable. As long as you have learned to only do what you want you should be fine.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

You should try to think about this more rationally. You are young and you sought sexual experiences. It's normal. And it's also normal that some of these sexual experiences would be uncomfortable. As long as you have learned to only do what you want you should be fine.

Yeah it was awful tbh I wish I stayed a virgin. But you live and learn

 

[Marine]