is my ctb reason stupid? (and are there any methods that won't be found out?)

[silverswan]

After reading a lot of the threads here, I feel like my reason for wanting to CTB is stupid. I have a loving family who are fine with me being FTM, lots of friends, money, can get a date and even get laid easily, and even good pain meds for the degenerative disease that will probably kill me sooner or later if I don't mind waiting a decade or so. (the only reason I haven't CTB so far is because I feel like it would hurt other people, and I don't care how much I suffer if someone else has a better life because of it.)
The reason I want to CTB is because I'm a writer/artist and am seeing the rise of AI. Every day, I go online and see people in my field having their work stolen, losing their jobs, getting told that what they do is meaningless. I'm sure in a few years AI will have completely replaced all human creative expression. I even got AI to write my sewerslide note for me, and it did a great job! That's why I want to CTB. I don't want to live in a world without creativity and human connection. It feels so empty and hopeless knowing that no one will ever be able to make money doing anything creative again and that I'll have to watch basically everyone I know lose their jobs and stop being able to do what they love. But given how many people here have abusive families, no friends, no money, and no medical treatment for their health issues, I feel like a weakling.

Also, are there any methods where people will think I've died of natural causes? My health is bad enough that if I suffered organ failure or a heart attack, and autopsy didn't show any signs of CTB, people would just think it was a tragic accident due to my degenerative disease affecting my body. If that's not a possibility, I guess I'll just get enough electroshock therapy that I don't care about the death of human creative expression anymore, because research shows that it can really change your personality. (Or just wait for my degenerative disease to take me. I can't imagine how healthy people live with the fact that they might have to live till 90 or even 100 when this world is filled with so much evil)

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

After reading a lot of the threads here, I feel like my reason for wanting to CTB is stupid. I have a loving family who are fine with me being FTM, lots of friends, money, can get a date and even get laid easily, and even good pain meds for the degenerative disease that will probably kill me sooner or later if I don't mind waiting a decade or so. (the only reason I haven't CTB so far is because I feel like it would hurt other people, and I don't care how much I suffer if someone else has a better life because of it.)
The reason I want to CTB is because I'm a writer/artist and am seeing the rise of AI. Every day, I go online and see people in my field having their work stolen, losing their jobs, getting told that what they do is meaningless. I'm sure in a few years AI will have completely replaced all human creative expression. I even got AI to write my sewerslide note for me, and it did a great job! That's why I want to CTB. I don't want to live in a world without creativity and human connection. It feels so empty and hopeless knowing that no one will ever be able to make money doing anything creative again and that I'll have to watch basically everyone I know lose their jobs and stop being able to do what they love. But given how many people here have abusive families, no friends, no money, and no medical treatment for their health issues, I feel like a weakling.

Also, are there any methods where people will think I've died of natural causes? My health is bad enough that if I suffered organ failure or a heart attack, and autopsy didn't show any signs of CTB, people would just think it was a tragic accident due to my degenerative disease affecting my body. If that's not a possibility, I guess I'll just get enough electroshock therapy that I don't care about the death of human creative expression anymore, because research shows that it can really change your personality. (Or just wait for my degenerative disease to take me. I can't imagine how healthy people live with the fact that they might have to live till 90 or even 100 when this world is filled with so much evil)

AI will never replace real human beings, although they may join us in creating things…

 

[Rob1984]

People suffer in many different ways. We all experience and interpret life differently. Just because one person may seem like they are suffering for more "legitimate" reasons should not diminish or invalidate the pain/hopelessness you feel yourself. So no, I don't think your reason of being upset or wanting to CTB is stupid. But, I am a little confused though... if you think AI will take over human creativity, wouldn't the solution be for humans to continue being creative? Majority of humans who do creative things do it purely for fulfillment/recreation/etc. and not for money. Only a very, very small percentage of humans actually make a living off of their creative endeavors. Many people create art and happily never share it with anybody but themselves- trust me, I would know Even more so, a human can be creative in non-artistic ways, meaning in many jobs a human can be creative and think outside the box; creativity manifests itself in many different forms. But back to what I was saying... I'm just genuinely confused by your reaction to what you predict? If you want human creativity to stay alive, then you must continue being creative, which would entail continuing to live. If you are concerned AI will take over and make human creativity/expression obsolete, then CTB will only help your prediction materialize. The solution to your concern is to continue being creative my friend!

 

[randy]

Would you still want to ctb if you found a community of people who felt the same way you do about AI?

(reminds me of the Dune books where AI is strictly banned by religious decree)

 

[Zegers]

Society is becoming more and more complex, AI will surpass human in every sphere. Your reason for wanting to leave is like that of anyone else who doesn't feel like staying in this world.

Best wishes in whatever you decide

 

[Justnotme]

Hi. I understand you perfectly, because I also draw . But my frustration developed before artificial intelligence became so popular, because the competition among creative people is huge. I'm not saying I'm talented, but I've had the experience of drawing to order. But in order to have drawings ordered from you, you need to promote yourself, always declare yourself on the Internet, and I hate this business and left drawing as a hobby.
But now that artificial intelligence is so popular, I'm not interested in drawing even as a hobby.

But I think there are and will be people who will appreciate drawing with a real person's hand, because we put our energy into drawings.
Although... Who knows what will happen next.

I want to say something else: it's up to you to decide whether the reason you want to die is stupid or not stupid.
As many people, so many opinions. Choose your opinion :)

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm actually in a very similar situation to you. I'm creative also. I have managed to scrape by with earning a living (not well though) but it's becoming SO difficult. I know what you mean- computers have largely obliterated my industry also.

It's pathetic and maladjusted but my creative work was pretty much the only thing keeping me going. It isn't enough for me to just do it as a hobby either. It will also be the reason I CTB eventually. I don't want to be a wage slave in some job I (inevitably) hate to support a life I don't want to live.

Guess the difference is- I don't really care if people think my reasons are justified! It's my life. Don't get me wrong- I care deeply about my family. I've hung on for them for 32 years already- I was suicidal from a very young age. Still- there are specific reasons we become like we are. I became obsessed with art to get through some crap in childhood. I COULD of course make the effort to be more 'normal' but- that could be said for a lot of people and I'm not judging them.

I think we all have the right to feel how we feel about the problems in our lives. So long as WE have put in the thinking- what does it matter how other people judge us?

I'm sorry you are in this situation also. I do know what you mean- that our motivations maybe aren't as severe as other people's. I do feel desperately sorry for those people too. Still- I think only YOU can know how bad things are for you- how much more you can take. How much more you are willing to take even.

I feel like I have to wait for my Dad to go first. The coming months- maybe years are likely to be utterly shit for me but for now, it feels like the right thing to do to keep going. I think we likely all have a sense to when our own resources to cope with our specific set of problems have run out. Then, I think we just kind of know it's time. I wish you well- in whatever you decide to do. Not much consolation I know but I feel we're very much in the same (sinking) boat.

 

[Truth1234]

It is actually a valid reason. Even senior people in tech are losing their jobs everyday due to AI. It will take all jobs. The only way to make a living nowadays is to be a genius inventing new AI or be a scam artist.

 

[stermc]

There is no such a thing as a "stupid" reason. It's your reason and it's valid.
And this is one of the reasons why I want to ctb too (it's not one of the main reasons, but it's there).

I am sorry.

 

[toro]

i dont think your reason is stupid at all, i also have a very loving family, im medicated woth anti-depressants and have been to therapy (and 'graduated' from it... if thats the term?) like 3 times, by all means i should no longer be a risk/suicidal. sometimes we just want to die, no amount of love can change the way a person feels and theres never a Dumb reason to want to kill yourself, AI is scary, and it feels like every new development just opens a thousand more terrifying doors. i turned off anything news related in my phone because it terrified me to see the way we are developing and the rate its at. my only comfort is remembering that CTB is always an option, even if i just have to resign myself to a messier method than id rather go through with lol, having an AI write my note sounds pretty funny to be honest, i wanna know how much of it it could get right about me HAHA

sorry for the mile long paragraph and rambling, just wanted to let you know that you arent alone in this fear and that its not dumb to be wary of AI in this way. ive comforted myself with CTB and also just. hoping that this AI fad will blow over like that nft thing did, crypto bros still exist but everyone just thinks theyre annoying, hopefully same goes for AI supremacists

 

[SunnysSunset]

I don't think there is any stupid reason to CTB. I'm sorry this is happening.

 

[DustInTheWind]

There are people who only eat preprocessed food, and those who only eat high quality human made food... The same will apply to art and writing in the future. AI vs human made.

Yes, there will be more competition, but the quality will be better. Just keep on supporting what you enjoy and believe in.

It may be depressing to think about currently, but new technology leads to new jobs, and those jobs will require a background in these fields. We just don't know what those new jobs are yet.

Edit: As others are pointing out, I do neither believe there is stupid reasons. You can't help what you feel.

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings are understandable and there could never be such a thing as a "stupid" reason for ctb, suicide doesn't even need a reason, existence is completely meaningless and we are all destined to die anyway so there could never be anything wrong with deciding to exit at a time of our own choosing. When to leave this world is completely a personal decision.

 

[spinningship]

Yeah there's definitely going to be a void of meaning. I think AI will so radically transform society in the next 10 years that they may well be able to solve some of these mental health problems. They've started making LLMs that can train on their own outputs and actually get better, i.e:self improve, so things are about to get bonkers.

Reminds me of when people talk about the loss of God and the damage it had on society and the meaningless people felt in their lives. Instead of losing God I suppose now we are losing passion too, it's a very scary thing.

 

[ilovecats]

Everyone reacts a certain way to different situation. It's completely normal to be a little more affected than others. Afterall, it's not about the "reason", but more about the impact it has on you.

 

[Himalayan]

Honestly. Losing your job and your passion isn't really a stupid reason... Maybe you could reinvent yourself, but the areas are indeed getting more limited... Honestly, everything is shitty nowadays. Idk, maybe you should try to fix things before hitting the ctb road...
Definitely not a stupid reason though