Venting Is it worth reconnecting with friends

[pharma]

I lowkey fumbled. He kept texting back for a couple of weeks, just saying hi and hello. I blocked him and unblocked him a couple of times. My parents are so controlling I can't leave my house at all. My mother screamed at me saying I don't need friends. I'm in my last year of university and everyone keeps telling me to wait till I graduate . But that's the exact same bullshit DCF told me and I'm still fucking here. I'm on anti depressants but I feel like dog shit constantly. I, struggling to make any sort of friends. People want to hang out irl but I cant,p. Im 22 but im treate elite a toddler. I just want to fucking die. I don't have any life that's worth living. I can't move out because I have to finish my in person classes. I asked if there was any help but everyone just says to suck it up. I've lived in absolute misery my entire life, I tried killing myself for the first time when I was 10. Like fuck I do t want to be here at all.

I don't see if there is a point to building relationships anymore. I tried supporting this friend at a basketball game but my mother lost her shit and went through my phone. It ruined my mood so bad I had panic attack, she does this all the time she suspects me of meeting with people. I can't even go to the mall by myself to pick up my shit. I hate her and I hate my miserable life. I count Dr,t feel like a worthless fsggot

 

[brickedup]

i know how you feel, i went through something similar. if you wanna talk more about it, my dms are open