Venting Is it worth reconnecting with friends

[pharma]

I lowkey fumbled. He kept texting back for a couple of weeks, just saying hi and hello. I blocked him and unblocked him a couple of times. My parents are so controlling I can't leave my house at all. My mother screamed at me saying I don't need friends. I'm in my last year of university and everyone keeps telling me to wait till I graduate . But that's the exact same bullshit DCF told me and I'm still fucking here. I'm on anti depressants but I feel like dog shit constantly. I, struggling to make any sort of friends. People want to hang out irl but I cant,p. Im 22 but im treate elite a toddler. I just want to fucking die. I don't have any life that's worth living. I can't move out because I have to finish my in person classes. I asked if there was any help but everyone just says to suck it up. I've lived in absolute misery my entire life, I tried killing myself for the first time when I was 10. Like fuck I do t want to be here at all.

I don't see if there is a point to building relationships anymore. I tried supporting this friend at a basketball game but my mother lost her shit and went through my phone. It ruined my mood so bad I had panic attack, she does this all the time she suspects me of meeting with people. I can't even go to the mall by myself to pick up my shit. I hate her and I hate my miserable life. I count Dr,t feel like a worthless fsggot

 

[brickedup]

i know how you feel, i went through something similar. if you wanna talk more about it, my dms are open

 

[penguinl0v3s]

It sounds like that person still wants to be your friend. I don't have a solution and I wish there was a good answer here, but it's hard to find one. I've gone through the controlling parents thing and have found that there are really no solutions until you can escape being in physical proximity of them :( as a soon to be graduate maybe that's something you'd look forward to?