is it worth it to go back to the psych ward/residential treatment?

[tiredblue]

Hello, I've been to the psych ward voluntarily twice, done a PHP program, and seen countless therapists specializing in different disorders and types of therapy. My mental health has gotten so bad that I do not leave the house anymore and have grown irritable with everything around me. I hate that I feel this way.

Part of me feels like there's no point in me going to residential treatment if I have gone through similar programs with no change. At the end of the day you could be put in the best treatment facility in the world but it doesn't matter if you don't put in the effort to help yourself when it's over. I'm so tired I just don't want to try anymore, what's the point in having my parents ( I'm 20 living at my parents house ) paying excessive amounts of money toward treatment if it just doesn't help anyways? I hate the idea of having my parents spend money on me especially something like this. It feels wrong to have to spend money on learning how to deal with living normally. I don't know.

I'm feeling trapped and I don't know what to do. I can't crawl out of this hole by myself but I every option I've tried before hasn't worked. Is this it??

 

[DyingToDie123]

I'm struggling with this too. I don't have solutions but you are not alone.

 

[marsupial]

Residential programs paradoxically take away the things that people use to feel good about living - goals, plans, freedom, esteem, social connection. Are you going to school? If you did recover, what would you like to do (besides survival stuff, eating/sleeping/cleaning) in your day-to-day?

Ugh, writing questions like that feels lame. I'm sure you've done an enumerable amount of reflecting and thinking about them. School/planning/goals also aren't a real solution - I'm in a great program, yet extremely miserable and irritated. For some staying alive is just keeping busy, finding distractions that makes your brain happy, gives you meaning, and helps you ignore everything less pleasant. But what about the people that can't stomach this game? Didn't mean to end here but it's been a sad week. Really wish I could help:(

 

[tiredblue]

Residential programs paradoxically take away the things that people use to feel good about living - goals, plans, freedom, esteem, social connection. Are you going to school? If you did recover, what would you like to do (besides survival stuff, eating/sleeping/cleaning) in your day-to-day?

Ugh, writing questions like that feels lame. I'm sure you've done an enumerable amount of reflecting and thinking about them. School/planning/goals also aren't a real solution - I'm in a great program, yet extremely miserable and irritated. For some staying alive is just keeping busy, finding distractions that makes your brain happy, gives you meaning, and helps you ignore everything less pleasant. But what about the people that can't stomach this game? Didn't mean to end here but it's been a sad week. Really wish I could help:(

I think what's been a major factor in why I can't get any better is I'm deeply ashamed of myself. I have ASD ( and a bunch of other things that contribute to how I am ) so there's been a multitude of terribly embarrassing things that have happened growing up that I didn't understand until much later. I still really struggle interacting with people so I'd rather isolate myself because being outside around other people makes me too anxious. I hold onto things very heavily and have never let go of any hurt, so I'm stuck inside now because if anything slightly negative happens again I think I'm going to break down.

This attitude surrounding me has gotten so bad that I genuinely can not do any sort of hobby that would allow me to self-express because I dislike myself too much. Things like drawing and painting, singing, playing the guitar; all things I've liked doing. are so unappealing to me because it's an extension of myself and I hate myself so much so I feel like I can't do them... I'm not sure if that makes any sense, I just feel anxious and weird about it, like there's an expectation set on it. anything where somebody else could see me doing it makes me feel gross and embarrassed, ( even if it's just myself seeing it. ) Like if I were anybody else I could do anything, but I'm not. It's like I feel like everyone can see what's wrong with me.

I'm completely burnt out so school is not on the table. A job isn't really either. Anything where anybody can see me is just too much.

So in a way, a residential program wouldn't be taking anything away from me because I don't do anything, it would probably be helpful by getting me off of my damn phone all day lol. But I would just get uncomfortable at the end of the day and want to be home.

Sorry to hear about your bad week, I hope things get better for you. <3

 

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

Hello, I've been to the psych ward voluntarily twice, done a PHP program, and seen countless therapists specializing in different disorders and types of therapy. My mental health has gotten so bad that I do not leave the house anymore and have grown irritable with everything around me. I hate that I feel this way.

Part of me feels like there's no point in me going to residential treatment if I have gone through similar programs with no change. At the end of the day you could be put in the best treatment facility in the world but it doesn't matter if you don't put in the effort to help yourself when it's over. I'm so tired I just don't want to try anymore, what's the point in having my parents ( I'm 20 living at my parents house ) paying excessive amounts of money toward treatment if it just doesn't help anyways? I hate the idea of having my parents spend money on me especially something like this. It feels wrong to have to spend money on learning how to deal with living normally. I don't know.

I'm feeling trapped and I don't know what to do. I can't crawl out of this hole by myself but I every option I've tried before hasn't worked. Is this it??

Psych wards are only for temporary help. If you desperately need to get away for a brief period, that's what they're for. If you want long term solutions and therapy isn't working, I'd recommend an attempt at a lifestyle change. Do you have any goals in life right now? Careers you want to pursue?

 

[tiredblue]

Psych wards are only for temporary help. If you desperately need to get away for a brief period, that's what they're for. If you want long term solutions and therapy isn't working, I'd recommend an attempt at a lifestyle change. Do you have any goals in life right now? Careers you want to pursue?

The problem is I will go out and try to completely change my life. The easiest way I've figured out how to is through seasonal work in different states, I've done this a couple of times before, but the problem I keep running into is how bad my interpersonal relationship skills are. Maybe it's all in my head and I'm blowing it out of proportion but by a couple of months of working and meeting people I get this overwhelming anxiety that I've done something horribly wrong and everybody hates me or dislikes me. Last time it got so bad that I had full mental breakdowns multiple times a day and had to move back in, losing all effort to go outside again. And it's gotten worse every time I've tried to start over like this. It's gotten so bad that sometimes I question if I'm developing some form of psychosis, but that's another whole issue.

There's glimpses of things I could imagine being, an artist, an environmentalist, a college student. But right now I cannot imagine taking any steps getting there with how it's going sadly.

 

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

The problem is I will go out and try to completely change my life. The easiest way I've figured out how to is through seasonal work in different states, I've done this a couple of times before, but the problem I keep running into is how bad my interpersonal relationship skills are. Maybe it's all in my head and I'm blowing it out of proportion but by a couple of months of working and meeting people I get this overwhelming anxiety that I've done something horribly wrong and everybody hates me or dislikes me. Last time it got so bad that I had full mental breakdowns multiple times a day and had to move back in, losing all effort to go outside again. And it's gotten worse every time I've tried to start over like this. It's gotten so bad that sometimes I question if I'm developing some form of psychosis, but that's another whole issue.

There's glimpses of things I could imagine being, an artist, an environmentalist, a college student. But right now I cannot imagine taking any steps getting there with how it's going sadly.

Best advice I could give is to ask people what they think of you and if there's anything you can improve on. Not only would this alleviate some of the ambiguity that's been stressing you out, but it'd look good to employers and bosses because it'd indicate a desire to do the best work possible.