Venting i can't do this anymore but what am i supposed to do

[etoilecupid]

i can say i can't do this anymore all i want but ill get nowhere with it, and all i really want to do is die. im tired of everything. im tired of my friends, family, the only thing I'm good at (which is art), i just can't do it anymore. i can't keep living like this in this misery. there's no point in trying anymore, and both my parents are selfish assholes. they both lied to me. they always lie and the only time they are truthful is in insult to me. my dad tells me everyday that im lazy and makes me feel like a disappointment (although i am and it gives me more reason to kill myself) while my mom is nicer except shes immature and is always yelling and ruining all her chances of a peaceful life over text and email, threatening my dad and just constantly being an immature asshole. all parents and teachers and whatever in this world are cheap immature liars, and ive never met a single one who hasn't been. i hate my dad for having me, heck, I resent him. he shouldnt have ever had children, he shouldn't have ever brought me into this world if he just wants to make my life harder than it already is. but hey, atleast it gives me more reason to hurt myself and die. i know I'd die alone anyway, so it doesn't matter who i keep in my life. im so, so tired, and sometimes i don't even have a reason for it. sometimes im just so sad and depressed all i can do is rot. all i can do is get worse and worse until i eventually follow through and kill myself, but thatll have to wait for awhile. though, no matter how much i blame the world and people for my suffering, i hate myself more than i hate anything else. i hate myself for walking on this earth, i hate myself for my incapability, i hate myself for my existence, i hate myself for ruining the people's lives around me because ive always felt that the world would get better when i leave. i hate myself so much and i feel i deserve death. all ill ever deserve is to die as painfully and excruciatingly as possible in punishment for my existence, no matter how much i want a peaceful and content death.