Is it weird or stupid to worry and feel guilty about who will clean up my body

[AN1V]

I frequently think of CTB by firearm, but I feel guilty just imagining the mess. despite it being fastest way (I think? which is what I'm looking for), I don't want to leave any gory mess for clean up crews or bother them by leaving something gory and hard to clean.
I have a weird want to look pretty when I CTB and for my corpse to look nice and clean, is that weird?

 

[DivineSpark]

I dont think it is weird. I can understand.

 

[kitkat9234]

I'm worried about the same. And who is going to get rid of my belongings/take care of my affairs. Will probably be my mother as I have no one else. It's going to be a big ordeal as I have a decent sized apartment with a ton of crap. One of the reasons I'm still here.

 

[bankai]

To be brutally honest, the people who clean up have done it hundreds of times already.I mean, you can have the worst job in the world and you'd just end up getting numb to it since you've seen it so many times.

 

[Alexandra_]

No, it's not strange. It's quite understandable. I think many people think about these things. If you choose the method with a gun, then it seems to me that the best place is the forest, because nature will clean up after you.
I don't know how long it will take to find my body. But I will write in my suicide note that I should be cremated and the ashes should be scattered in the grove (this is my favorite place in the city). I also understand that my body will look terrible. Most likely, the color of my skin will change. It's hot now and there will probably be a characteristic smell. And it will be hard for my family to look at my body. They will also have to do something with my things. But they will have to go through it, one way or another.
Because I made my choice. And I don't want to be in this world for a single extra second. Because my suffering is unbearable. It seems that I can already hear the steps of death

 

[Forveleth]

I have thought about it too, even going so far as to plan my original attempt in a bathtub for easy cleanup. We naturally want to care for other people, so it is not unusual that you would try to make someone's life easier even in your death.

 

[GodChallengesMe]

Personally, if I had to blow my head out using a shotgun, I would do it in a very remote location like in a forest where nobody would suspect the gun sound suspicious had someone heard it since there are people hunting in forests regularly so they would most likely attribute the sound of gunshot to someone hunting rather than killing themselves. The blood and exposed flesh would immediately attract scavenger predators in the sky and on the land so most likely the body would be consumed in a matter of 2-3 days at most. After that point if someone stumbles upon the remnants of the body nobody would be able to identify it unless forensic scientists conduct DNA testing or your clothes would be in a condition to be identifiable by your family members. That's why it's a good idea to burn the clothes first and do it naked. Also, I would never take documents or accessories that could be used to identify me.

But, since I'm going to use a very peaceful method not because to avoid my post-mortem body look bizarre but because I want to end it peacefully (I find gunshot method terrifying), I have to do this in my home and leave my dead body there. It's summer now so temperature is high, therefore the body will start decomposing quickly. I think I might not be visited for up to about 4-5 days and that's a long time in the summer for the dead body to significantly decompose to a point of rotting and inflation like a balloon. The skin will look nasty and the smell will be terrible. I just don't give a damn fu*ck about it because I will be gone and (hopefully) not witnessing the scene how they handle my decomposed body but if I witness it somehow, I wouldn't give a fu*ck since I will be broken free from this world and (hopefully) find peace.

 

[ginko0]

I can relate to that. In my mind, it's an attempt to preserve a trace of myself, for my death not to be mere destruction, but something else. However illusory, it is what it is.