Discussion Is it that you don't want to live, or don't want to be in pain?

[Sinkinshyp]

I don't want to wake up in the mental pain I am in. My son died in a car accident 3 years ago and I died with him. Prior to his birth I had bad depression, I was able to live happy since he was born. Maybe the love and happiness he brought to me over rode the depression so I didn't feel it. Since he died 3 years ago I just exist 1 day to the next painfully wanting my son

 

[Weightoftheworld]

I just don't want to live.

 

[muffin222]

I don't want to live in unbearable pain and emotion turmoil constantly, but I see no way out of it

 

[wanttodie]

I don't want to live as i hate my life and living

 

[ATownSerenity]

There is no life without pain. Life is pain.

 

[willitpass]

i don't want to be in pain. there are some aspects of life that i truly enjoy. i love hanging out with friends, i used to love baking and drawing and knitting. i love shopping. i love food. but the pain of life outweighs the joy. i can no longer find a reason that makes all of the suffering worth while

 

[x~Sophia~x]

There is no life without pain. Life is pain.

That's not true for everyone though, is it.?! Some people love life/living.
Unfortunately, I'm not one of them

 

[RottenDeer]

I would say it's both. I don't want to be in pain but life also doesn't appeal to me.

 

[fixitinpost]

I want to live. I just don't want to have to fight depression and self-esteem issues in almost every aspect of life, nor feel ostracized because of it.

Earlier this year, I got out of a relationship that completely shattered my self-esteem. It's why I'm here.

 

[greebo6]

A bit of both.

 

[enuff]

At least you can say you had a good life. I'm not sure everyone here can say that. With all the mental illnesses you mentioned, how was this possible? Did these only crop up later in life?

yeah, i realize i've been fortunate to live in the u.s., it's not difficult to get a mortgage if you have a job. that combination is the key to financial leverage. but i've had mental issues all my life, but they got worse as i get older.

 

[woxihuanni]

Neither, I don't want to be in abyss. It has been painful anyway, I am used to it. But there is nothing left at all. It is like being kicked into space.
I can just hear prolifer cunt saying, then aim for the stars. I also want to put that cunt in space naked and see how she fares.

 

[itachi of death]

Other than my responsibilities I've created i dont see any reason for me to be alive I dont like living,I dont want to I welcome death with open arms and they close the door,last time they took my sister instead of me which really mess me up in the head

 

[lonelynight]

I just don't want to live anymore. Someone there said that he is only existing and I feel that way too. I'm existing just to work and pay bills... existing just to have a minimum of pleasure spending on things and food... and only. There is nothing else for me in this life. I don't see how life will get better... even because things depends on me to improve, and I would have to do something about it and I won't do it, because I think its not worth it... in the end, everybody dies anyway! Im just doing things to get life more tolerable, like several therapies and take several medications... I don't know how long I can take it...

 

[Xocoyotziin]

It used to be because I didn't want to live, like when I was seriously depressed from childhood up through late adolescence. Somewhere along the line I got hooked on the idea of existing, probably because of hallucinogens making me feel that it could be something more. But I feel frustrated because I failed at making it that and now I'm here. I know this is vague and all and it probably is melodramatic but the feeling is like being turned down for a job that could start a whole new career path at the last minute, and knowing that it's all your fault for how all of your stupid little negligent actions stacked up. And you're just left floating in this anxious half-state where nothing really changes, and you're terrified of regression, you can feel it happening, but can't find whatever is needed, or are somehow too damaged, to progress.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I would prefer to live, if reality was different from how it actually is. But our reality is cruel, and doesn't just change for us. We have to break our backs to create change, which takes too long, and the future doesn't even promise to be bright anyway. most of us won't live long enough to see our highest dreams realised. If you ask me, the suffering of the past, in the living and the dead, is already unforgivable. I want nothing more to do with this hideous game, thank you very much.