
One day too late
Idle mind fills with uneasy thoughts.
- Aug 14, 2020
- 4,245
Is it still consider suicide if I drink myself to death? I've been drinking from the moment I wake up to the time I go to sleep ever since I had what I believed to be an heart attack. I was riding my bike one day and my chest started hurting, my heart was pounding really fast, had difficulty breathing, was feeling light headed and almost passed out. My cousin who is a physician assistant says that it isn't the symptoms of a heart attack and that it could've been anxiety. But I beg to differ as a week before, there was a sharp pain on the left part of my heart. It came out of no where. I am pretty healthy as I watch what I eat and I work out. I think this was cause by years of loneliness and isolation. Now every time I take a shot and drink the cocktail I made myself, my chest and heart starts to hurt. But what seems to really do the trick is some liquor mix with Red Bull. That really gets my heart going crazy. I have also been waking up to chest pains and when I lay on my left side and there's pain on my left shoulder and my heart and my left arm starts to go numb. Numb like it is deprived of blood. I don't know how long it will take nor how much more drinking I have to do to give myself a heart attack. I also recently learned that quitting drinking cold turkey is just as dangerous as alcohol withdrawal can lead to a heart attack as well. So right now it seems like it will be a win-win situation for me. What do you guys think?