Venting it happened

[shediedatsea]

The final tragedy. Just what i needed to push me over to overcome SI. I kept telling myself that it will get better every single day like a habit. I can do this. I can get out of this stronger. Theres still hope left for me. But after being abused and sexually assaulted again, I cant do it anymore. I have lost all will power to live and keep going. I am fully ready to die now. I feel like someone ripped my heart out of my chest. I never understood what I have done to deserve so many tragedies within my one and short life but I really cannot do this anymore. I have witnessed so much and it all haunts me every single day. When I sleep I have nightmares every single night. When I'm awake I experience severe pain in my chest and stomach due to mental distress. I am nauseous all the time. I have several panic attacks a day. I shake all the time and I can barely do anything, all I wanted was to live a normal life but I can't. I can't enjoy my food without throwing it up again. I have nose bleeds every single day from stress. I'm exhausted from living like this every single day and thats without all of the mental issues I have. I just can't do it anymore.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you have to suffer so unbearably in this cruel, torturous existence, it really sounds like you've suffered so much, it's so dreadful to me how there's all this suffering, I hope you find the relief you search for.

 

[SadBumblebee]

The pain and suffering you're going through is heartbreaking. No one deserves this and while I haven't had anything happen to me personally I've seen people irl discussing similar things and just hearing it crushes me, let alone actually going through it. I encourage you to keep preserving and get all the support you can but whatever decision you make I hope it goes well.