Discussion Is it selfish?

[charcoalcat]

Is it selfish to go into a relationship when you're suicidal and know you're gonna ctb in the near future?

I've fallen for someone and the feeling is mutual. I'm resisting and struggling to contain myself from starting the relationship because I know where the path leads and it's hard, really hard.

 

[Tomoko]

Honestly? It varies from person to person. Personally, I avoid relationships like the plague due to my ideation. But if you do wind up getting into a relationship and then ctb, just try your best to make sure they know it isn't their fault. That's all I can really say about it.

 

[Soulless Angel]

Id hold off, unless this relationship could change your mindset n CTB? I dont know why you are in this place, but is there a chance it could change your outlook on living? If not then don't do it,

 

[toforigivelife]

It's hard to control your feelings when you're falling for someone, whether you're feeling suicidal or not.

I think the best thing you can do some self-examination and ask yourself if your feelings are genuine or is this person a distraction from your pain or human antidepressant.

I guess it could be selfish to start a relationship if you feel you're going to be dead soon, you would be putting someone through a trauma, a trauma that could've been avoided.

I get the feeling, though, that you're feelings are real.

If you think you have a chance at recovery and that this relationship could become more meaningful maybe you could bring up the topic of depression. Just start a general conversation about it and see what they say.

They may be very straightforward and say that they've experienced depression and talk more about it. That would give you the opportunity to explain, without making them feel like you expect them to take care of you, that you're dealing with a depression right now.

That way you're being honest with them and they know that, while you like them, you're not feeling your best right now.

If you bring up the topic of depression and their response is an eye roll and "Oh God! I can't stand people who claim to be depressed. They're losers and depression is a made up illness for people who want attention." Then you know that this person is not going understand or handle what you're dealing with and not someone you want to be with.

It's a tough call.

Sometimes meeting the right person can help turn your life around.

Help turn your life around. Not magically cure your illness or all other problems.

If you want to commit to a relationship then you're going to also have to make a commitment to your health and your recovery.

Or know when to end the relationship if your depression and suicidal urges overtake the good feelings this relationship offers you.

I guess you'll have to decide which is is stronger or which goes deeper; your suicidal depression and desire to leave this life or your sense of hope for the future, hope for recovery and your feelings for this person.

 

[whywere]

Darn great question! Now everyone has their own opinion and thoughts but for me, I say go for it.

Now with that aspect said, here is my thoughts why: A human is NOT designed to be a loner, I know I should talk with no friends or family!, being 100% honest.

Life is short upon its self and to have some one love, care and think about one's self, for me it would be like WOW!

Yes, one can be by one's self but to have another person to talk to, share a laugh and look into their eyes with joy?

As far as if the subject of like, ctb, comes up, deal with it as it naturally flows. If one thinks that it might be a obstacle then work through it with the one that a person has feelings for/with.

Not the same by any means but a long time ago, I started going out this lady and she was all about her religion and I sat her down and we talked through it that it was a no go with me if she was head strong about her religion with me and she dropped it and we had a great time.

BE 100% honest with the other person, but do not give up the chance to have warm fuzzy feelings and the joy of someone thinking about you.

I can look back, I am 65, reference point only, at some things that I passed up, passed by because of cold feet, did not want to take a chance, and overall I regret it and there is no time machine to go back for a redo.

All my best to you and your decisions,

Walter

 

[Chiisai]

It's hard to control your feelings when you're falling for someone, whether you're feeling suicidal or not.

I think the best thing you can do some self-examination and ask yourself if your feelings are genuine or is this person a distraction from your pain or human antidepressant.

I guess it could be selfish to start a relationship if you feel you're going to be dead soon, you would be putting someone through a trauma, a trauma that could've been avoided.

Heeey I agree with this. Better reflect on yourself first. I always view a relationship seriously and for life-long commitment and if so, having the plan to CTB would be hyprocritical of the meaning of having a relationship and also would pass the hurt to the loved one/partner. In another perspective, having a relationship in hopes of turning one's life around would also strain the relationship. One cannot expect the partner to keep understanding or to keep taking care of the other. With that said, if one really chooses to have a relationship, be the change. One must also sacrifice the plan to CTB because if one really loves the other, you do not want them to be hurt if you leave.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my opinion, I would probably stay away from relationships. You said you would not be around for the long term, so it would end up just causing the other person pain. Of course it is up to you and suicide is in no way selfish even if you ended up in a relationship, as you have the right to take your life at any time of your choosing, it is your life, your decision.