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stupid

New Member
Oct 10, 2022
3
Is it selfish that I want well need to die as soon as possible, I can't wait until November yet I have 3 birthdays coming up in October..,, am I being selfish to want to end it all now? I can't envisage going to work acting normal any longer when I am filled with pain and want to die
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,314
Anything that benefits yourself at the expense of others can be seen as 'selfish' but just because something technically is that doesn't mean that it's always wrong. I believe that nobody should feel as though they are forced to exist against their wishes. Only you know when the time is right for you to leave this life behind and it's a personal decision in which nobody else should have any say in. None of us asked for this nightmarish existence in the first place anyway.
 
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Kari

Kari

Kitten All Alone
Oct 16, 2022
8
This is honestly a major worry of my own too. I have a few important birthdays coming up and while I don't want to ruin this time of year for someone special to me, or anyone at all, I also cannot fathom being in pain for much longer. It's an odd feeling trying to put others first before myself even now.
 
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S

Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,875
For borthdays I would say now, there are birthdays all the time, it's not that big of a deal. I did make sure it wasn't near a big family wedding, for something like that it is best to avoid. That's my opinion, anyway. :)
 
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A

AliceTheGoon

Specialist
Jul 1, 2022
399
Having been through a year of this or that is a good or bad time and still here I would say forget all that, strike while the iron is hot.
 
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Gloom

Gloom

Autistic Dumbass
Sep 20, 2020
52
you won't feel the judgement when you're dead so i don't see why not
 
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N

Nigh

Experienced
Oct 12, 2020
245
I'm in a similar predicament. But it's two death anniversarys. Then in the next month it's two people's birthdays. Maybe I can work around it. But I don't think you're selfish, just in pain.
 
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HermitLonerGuy

HermitLonerGuy

Warlock
Sep 28, 2022
707
i actually decided my death date will be my birthday so i wont give family 2 days to mourn me/ Remember me.
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,851
No, its not selfish
 
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spectraltease

spectraltease

When everything is lost everything is found
Sep 23, 2022
317
Is it selfish that I want well need to die as soon as possible, I can't wait until November yet I have 3 birthdays coming up in October..,, am I being selfish to want to end it all now? I can't envisage going to work acting normal any longer when I am filled with pain and want to die
Fuck it, do it if you want.
 
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S

stupid

New Member
Oct 10, 2022
3
Thanks for your responses. This will be my third attempt, hopefully successful this time. I just need to get a method that will actually work.
 
gomenasai

gomenasai

Student
Sep 30, 2022
168
Don't worry, I wish you success in anything you decide to do
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
part of the problem with the worry is between birthdays and holidays (not wanting to make family hardships (ex: another recent death in the family) worse) theres almost always something going on so to a degree you kind of have to ignore it. at the same time it depends on how you feel. for the most part i dont care, but i wont do it from march - beginning of june. my birthday is how i know im allowed again lol 😁.

the entire decision is up to you, although id try to put a week or 2 distance if its someone youre close with.
 
makethepainstop

makethepainstop

Visionary
Sep 16, 2022
2,029
Is it selfish that I want well need to die as soon as possible, I can't wait until November yet I have 3 birthdays coming up in October..,, am I being selfish to want to end it all now? I can't envisage going to work acting normal any longer when I am filled with pain and want to die
You have had this pain for sometime. I know how it feels to want to ctb,NOW!
 
ikadasui

ikadasui

Arcanist
May 29, 2018
464
Personally as devoid of life as I am there are some things I wouldn't do. It's (probably) gonna suck for them regardless, so unless you have a grudge against them if possible I wouldnt.
 
Minibosterita

Minibosterita

Just trying to fill the void
Mar 9, 2021
59
i actually decided my death date will be my birthday so i wont give family 2 days to mourn me/ Remember me.
This is exactly what I want too. In an ideal world I'd go on my birthday, but not sure how long I can take it.
 
LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
I worry about dates too, but I can't keep track of ALL of them..I will avoid immediate family's birthdates and any extended family's dates that I'm aware of.
Not because I actually care (they never gave a shit about me nor did they respect the reasons why I suffer), it's more so that I avoid having blame and excessive distaste thrown into the mix of my passing..also to eliminate the possibility of someone thinking my death had anything at all to do with them (so they can keep their mouths shut about it and not make themselves out to be some secondary victim of my suffering, draw inaccurate conclusions, etc).

However, there are only so many days in a year and I'm sure my death will inevitably land on somebody's "special day" (which could be anything really)…after awhile, it becomes too exhausting to care.
I'll probably just leave a short note mentioning that the day itself has no significance and that if it does happen to coincide with anyone else's calendar moments, then it was completely unintentional.
For borthdays I would say now, there are birthdays all the time, it's not that big of a deal. I did make sure it wasn't near a big family wedding, for something like that it is best to avoid. That's my opinion, anyway. :)
I would avoid birthdates long before I gave a shit about somebody's wedding anniversary.
 
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Dark Moon

Dark Moon

Warlock
Sep 21, 2022
789
I'm in the same situation, I have a family member's birthday soon and then it's christmas. I would do it on the month of my own birthday.
 
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