Venting Is it really that wrong to be jealous of "normal" people?

[Ladylethal]

I realize that nobody's perfect...everybody has their issues etc..that I have no right to envy "normal and happy" people. But I do dammit. I hate them. I hate reading posts on Facebook about people asking for help and watching all their friends readily give it to them. I despise scrolling through Instagram and seeing these beautiful girls brag about plastic surgery and exotic trips. I envy my sister for having the normal relationship with my mother that I'll never have because she's a fucking narcissist. I hate everyone for abandoning me and most of all I just hate myself...
More than anything.
Sorry for bitching.

 

[Crematedashes]

It's ok to be jealous of normal people. It really is. I also am.

 

[Alpha_Draco_Pegasus]

I'm jealous of normal people, a normal person being: a healthy male (for me because I am male) who completes high school and college without any difficulty, starts dating in high school, goes to Prom, enjoys his sexual experiences and has lots of sex in college, plays sports and is relatively popular - goes on to get a nice job, gets married and has kids. Now that's the "American Dream" kid you could say. Not everybody in America is so fortunate, but plenty of people have lives like that, more or less. Sure, maybe one time when he hooks up with a broad in college he won't be able to get it up. That'll be the worst thing that happens to him in his life, LOL.

But look at it this way, I'm sure plenty of people are jealous of you. You look pretty for one thing. If you aren't, well you can sure manipulate a picture damn well. I'm sure all of the people in developing third world countries would be jealous at least of your circumstances. Well actually I don't even know where you live but I'm sure you're not a starving limbless blind kid with AIDS. I wonder if he feels jealousy? I don't know, I'm just blabbing on now for the hell of it. Of course we don't know what it's like to be in your head and maybe it damn well sucks. But I'm sure if somebody out there in the billions of people in the world knew you or was around you enough, you would give them something to be jealous of.

So I ought to end this off by asking: What does a normal person look like to you? Circumstantially, physically, whatever. Paint a picture for me.

 

[LifeIsNotFun]

It's perfectly normal to be a jealous. As it is, jealously is a normal behavior humans do.

 

[GinaIsReady]

It's a negative emotion so it really sucks to experience it but as far as it being wrong … fuck no. Anyway, they're not normal.

 

[Kjo]

A friend is worried about losing everything to bankruptcy. He told me he was envious that I have nothing to lose... I so badly wanted to explain that it's because I'm ready to check out. I'm down to just my car and a bag worth of clothes... I'm so envious that there are things he wants in life like his house. I only want to leave...

I envy normal so much. I envy everyone with huge debts and fears of losing things because there are things they want in life... Reasons that get them up on the mornings...

 

[WinterIsComing]

My brother went to italy...in the photos he seemed so happy but now he told me that he is worrying trying to pay that trip

 

[Severen]

Jealousy is simply a part of human nature. I'd say, something is wrong with you, if you never get jealous.

 

[throwaway123]

everyone here is jealous. These fuckers don't know how fucking lucky they are.

 

[AngelGirl]

I realize that nobody's perfect...everybody has their issues etc..that I have no right to envy "normal and happy" people. But I do dammit. I hate them. I hate reading posts on Facebook about people asking for help and watching all their friends readily give it to them. I despise scrolling through Instagram and seeing these beautiful girls brag about plastic surgery and exotic trips. I envy my sister for having the normal relationship with my mother that I'll never have because she's a fucking narcissist. I hate everyone for abandoning me and most of all I just hate myself...
More than anything.
Sorry for bitching.

I get jealous of other people's happy memories. I especially hate people who had happy childhood memories.
I used to hate it when my ex boyfriend would start talking about fun memories from his childhood although I never told him I hated to listen to his happy childhood memories. I hated it when he would start talking about fun things he did when he was playing with his brothers and how that made his parents upset.

I was never supposed to upset my parents and I only have terrifying memories from getting them upset. It was extremely traumatizing for me and that's what im scared of to this day. The fact that something terrifying and traumatizing for me can be something happy and joyful for another person makes me feel miserable that I was never allowed to have happy childhood memories.

 

[Life sucks]

I don't like being "normal". But for jealousy, I can be jealous about other stuff

 

[SinisterKid]

Show me a so called "normal person" who is genuinely happy and I will show you a liar. Its all a front, a façade so that no one can see just how vulnerable the vast majority of people really are. Jealousy? nah, like regrets, its a pointless exercise.

 

[LaBrava]

I think some normal people have an easier ride through life than misfit square pegs like me who always struggle. That said, there are plenty of normies in loveless marriages or other unsatisfying life situations who just put on a facade.

 

[Empty Smile]

Fuck normal people.

 

[Darkmornings]

I definitely get jealous. It feels wrong but I cant control it. The feeling is starting to make me feel angry. I've never been a jealous person and I haven't had the best life. Regardless of my circumstances, I've always managed to stay optimistic but now I've lost hope.

Now when people laugh and smile, when I see people with their families or friends or when I see people in love, I get so angry. It seems so unfair that I got stuck with the shitting family. It seems unfair that I've lost everything even though I've worked my ass off all of my life. It seems unfair that I'm depressed and cry daily. I feel like I'm being punished and no one's told me what I've done.

 

[Ladylethal]

Damn

everyone here is jealous. These fuckers don't know how fucking lucky they are.

damn straight

I think some normal people have an easier ride through life than misfit square pegs like me who always struggle. That said, there are plenty of normies in loveless marriages or other unsatisfying life situations who just put on a facade.

That's very true. Those people usually end up on crime shows lol
I even hate the guy that's romantically interested in me. He's had a normal life. He doesn't understand why I'm depressed and can't get out bed. Or why I want the dumb shit I want period. He's normal too. And he just announced he's otw to fly down here. Sigh I just wanna die already.

I don't like being "normal". But for jealousy, I can be jealous about other stuff

I hate it too but at the same time I'm jealous

 

[deflagrat]

Jealous of what? Of their wage-slaving job? Their shitty relationships? I don't think this world has a lot to offer, and you die anyways (90 y.o at most). Maybe I could feel jealous of people living in the distant future, with 200 y.o and still young and with good money or stuff like that, but this? Pfft.

 

[Scribble Fan]

I tend to get jealous of people with good families and normal childhoods. I always wanted a happy family as a kid, or at least a functional one, but instead I got my family and that's what twisted me around until I wanted to ctb. All I needed was some support instead of constantly inflicted pain. People just don't get it.

I'm always shocked when I see self-critical complaints about being "average". Be grateful for average. The opposite isn't special, it's hell.

 

[Severen]

Jealous of what? Of their wage-slaving job? Their shitty relationships? I don't think this world has a lot to offer, and you die anyways (90 y.o at most). Maybe I could feel jealous of people living in the distant future, with 200 y.o and still young and with good money or stuff like that, but this? Pfft.

Hahaha, you nailed it. I'm jealous of the people who have had everything in life, handed to them on a silver platter. Who never had to go through traumatizing shit. Who never had to do hard labor. You know, upper middle class people with parents who actually care about them, the rich and the wealthy. People who weren't born into dumb ass families of brainwashed religious sheeple, sociopaths, psychopaths etc... I came from an upper middle class background. I went to schools with kids and teens from an upper class background. My family had as much money as their families... And when they were all 17 and 18, all the teens from those upper middle class families got expensive cars as gifts from their parents. I asked my father for a car, even just a piece of shit car. He told me a speech about using those bootstraps and told me to fuck off, go get a job and buy one myself like he had to back in the day...in his small shitty town in the middle of nowhere...in the 70s. And he only pulled that off because back in those days, cars weren't very complex so you could buy parts and build one yourself if you study how to do it. I couldn't even borrow his vehicle or my mother's vehicle even though he worked at home in his office and my mom was a housewife. So I had to walk around like the few teens in my Highschool with poor parents and poor immigrant parents or the few unlucky teens who were born into families like mine... It doesn't sound like a big deal but it is, every time, you walk into the Highschool parking lot and see all these teens get into their 40 and 50 thousand dollar cars... Because that shit is being rubbed in your face, five days a week. And you have to walk home because __________ <- dumb ass reason and because your father wants you to suffer like he had to suffer due to him being born with a father who is a psychopath war veteran who wouldn't care if his children lived or died... Back in my day, I had do hard labor when I was 12! Yeah...STFU... People like him, actually don't want a better life for their kids... They can't stand it. They want them to have a life that was the same or worse. Nah, if my life became too enjoyable at that age, then that would mean, I one upped him in some way... That's also why he decided to spend all the money he saved up for me and my sister after we graduated Highschool on himself, one day. Because back in his day...

 

[netrezven]

I realize that nobody's perfect...everybody has their issues etc..that I have no right to envy "normal and happy" people. But I do dammit. I hate them. I hate reading posts on Facebook about people asking for help and watching all their friends readily give it to them. I despise scrolling through Instagram and seeing these beautiful girls brag about plastic surgery and exotic trips. I envy my sister for having the normal relationship with my mother that I'll never have because she's a fucking narcissist. I hate everyone for abandoning me and most of all I just hate myself...
More than anything.
Sorry for bitching.

I think i understand you. It's like i wrote this few day ago. Here are my points, worked for me, for now.
"normal" people are also envy. Most people are envy for what they want, but without knowing the price for it. If you know the price or the recipe needed then you wont be that jealous. Almost no one does. The price for the "normal" people's happiness is stupidity, if you can - go on with it.
Facebook and Instagram are for most people, so that makes them "normal", but also for the less intelligent ones. It's like TV, a market for most people. It's fake. Few options - fall to it, fake it and use it, ignore it.
Know very well the feeling for abandoning. When you stay silent, screaming for help inside you. Well, no one will hear you. They will feel your weakness and somehow use it against you. Everything they say, do, not say, not do - hurts. It' a cliche, but the moment i stopped asking for help i got better.

 

[Jean Améry]

Why would it be wrong? It's a victimless crime at best so to speak.

Instagram is fake as hell and will only depress you further. Stay away from that filth.

 

[Severen]

I think i understand you. It's like i wrote this few day ago. Here are my points, worked for me, for now.
"normal" people are also envy. Most people are envy for what they want, but without knowing the price for it. If you know the price or the recipe needed then you wont be that jealous. Almost no one does. The price for the "normal" people's happiness is stupidity, if you can - go on with it.
Facebook and Instagram are for most people, so that makes them "normal", but also for the less intelligent ones. It's like TV, a market for most people. It's fake. Few options - fall to it, fake it and use it, ignore it.
Know very well the feeling for abandoning. When you stay silent, screaming for help inside you. Well, no one will hear you. They will feel your weakness and somehow use it against you. Everything they say, do, not say, not do - hurts. It' a cliche, but the moment i stopped asking for help i got better.

Being envious exists because we are primates who evolved to have that instinct. And nature gave us that instinct because it is a good instinct to have to make sure, we aren't being fucked over in life... So you can detect inequality and do something about it. So if you are a monkey or chimp and you see some other monkey or chimp hoarding all the bananas, you know that monkey or chimp, is screwing you over, the entire tribe etc... That could lead to starvation, death, pain and suffering for many etc. And then there would have to be a monkey or chimp revolt to make positive change or even a revolution.

 

[Theon]

Living with a heightened sense of anxiety at all times and the inability to enjoy anything, no pleasure in simple things like music, I am jealous of...everybody. Leaving the house is hard but I obviously have to do it sometimes like today. And then I just see people laughing, having conversations...hell, just being calm. I can't do any of these things. I used to. Up till March of last year, 2018. And then, one meth binge too many and I was left with...nothing. Right now the beautiful life I built for myself is hanging by a thread. I do the minimum possible to keep things up, but everything is falling apart and within a couple of months could completely collapse. So I'm jealous of pretty much everyone. What I would give to be normal again, at least normal for me. I constantly fantasize about time travel. If I can just go back a year. Even better if I can go back four years. And just stop using drugs. What I would give to have my life back. To not be jealous of everyone.

 

[TimeToDie]

Show me a so called "normal person" who is genuinely happy and I will show you a liar.

Few people go through life euphoric, though those who aren't ordering Nembutal, or discussing how to die by SN, or aren't buying a gun to end their life are probably notably happier than we are.

 

[262653]

I envy my sister for having the normal relationship with my mother that I'll never have because she's a fucking narcissist.

I don't understand. Does your sister has different mother? How can that be?
*Oh...

 

[GinaIsReady]

omg Severen, that vid was HILARIOUS. Thanks for posting!

 

[Rex2019]

I realize that nobody's perfect...everybody has their issues etc..that I have no right to envy "normal and happy" people. But I do dammit. I hate them. I hate reading posts on Facebook about people asking for help and watching all their friends readily give it to them. I despise scrolling through Instagram and seeing these beautiful girls brag about plastic surgery and exotic trips. I envy my sister for having the normal relationship with my mother that I'll never have because she's a fucking narcissist. I hate everyone for abandoning me and most of all I just hate myself...
More than anything.
Sorry for bitching.

Are you sure they are happy? everyone is screwed up in their own ways. Some hide it better than others. Some can be less honest to themselves and others and by not thinking about things, they can fool themselves into being "happy" and they fit into society better. Some just don't. Everyone wants to be liked and to fit in and so pretend to care about shit they don't and do what others are doing. It's all "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours". So that they can get self validation from others' approval and the "others" are waiting for the same thing from you. Most friend groups, if you really think about it, is just dysfunctional and all about "define me" as roger the shrink from friends would put it.

The truth is often the photos don't reflect the reality. Most of the time it is boring. Everyone smiles brightly for the photos... have you ever seen photos of a party and everything looks so fucking amazing and you think "omg everyone is having a blast". You resolve to go fro the next one.. and then you go and you will find that it's "meh". But when the photos come on social media, it looks like you guys had the best fucking party of the year but since you were there, you know the party wasn't really like that. The truth is photos are all an illusion. it's not real. Photos are a snapshot where people pose and try to explicitly look extremely happy- that's the whole point of taking a photo. Also the very fact that these girls are "bragging" should give you some clue about happy and content they are. Do happy, content people seek approval of others or is it insecure, unhappy people who do that? Are you sure your mom is the only narcissist? The funny thing is these girls feel exactly like you when they view social media. They also "hate how everyone else seems to be having so much fun" and so they try to keep up. They are all trying to one up the others. Does the idea of doing that sound fun to you? Sound a bit tiring to me. you obviously don't approve of your mom. Would you respect yourself more if you turned a blind eye and pretended to be chummy with her?

This world is a fucked up place. It's also a bit funny.

I like Marcus Aurelius' thoughts on this:

"It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own."

"You want praise from people who kick themselves every fifteen minutes, the approval of people who despise themselves. "

 

[SinisterKid]

Few people go through life euphoric, though those who aren't ordering Nembutal, or discussing how to die by SN, or aren't buying a gun to end their life are probably notably happier than we are.

And that is a assumption that is easy to make, but the operative word is "probably". Just because they may not be suicidal, does not automatically mean they are happy or happier than we are.

 

[cornflowerblue]

I realize that nobody's perfect...everybody has their issues etc..that I have no right to envy "normal and happy" people. But I do dammit. I hate them. I hate reading posts on Facebook about people asking for help and watching all their friends readily give it to them. I despise scrolling through Instagram and seeing these beautiful girls brag about plastic surgery and exotic trips. I envy my sister for having the normal relationship with my mother that I'll never have because she's a fucking narcissist. I hate everyone for abandoning me and most of all I just hate myself...
More than anything.
Sorry for bitching.

It's ok to be jealous. But it's also irrational to think you'd be magically happier in a different life. It might be true, but it probably isn't. For most people, they find new things to be upset about.

I have a "perfect" life and I'm here.

 

[azucaramargo]

he

I'm so curious, what is the "dumb shit" you want? That's kind of cool that you have dudes flying out to see you even though you are depressed. But, I understand that feeling the need to entertain and act happy is burdensome and depressing.Also, it sucks when you feel that people are just dying to ignore your depression. Good luck during the visit. When I was in grad school a dude came to visit me, and I was just NOT feeling it. I had no money, was behind in all my classes, needed to get my laptop repaired, and my room was a pit. And, like you said, I didn't want to get out of bed. I ended up lying & telling him I had an STD. I don't know if that is helpful advice to you ... Good luck during the visit. I wish you strength.