Discussion Is it possible to simulate the feeling of getting hugged?

[HopefulSleep]

I liked it to hug others as a child but I have no friends anymore and I don't know how to find people who want to hug me but I liked the feeling itself.
Hugging my pillow doesn't feel like the real thing.
I just want to get hugged, I feel so hurt, can I get a similar feeling alone?

 

[Rocinante]

Weighted Blankets: Benefits, Do They Work, and More

Weighted blankets are a popular way to relieve anxiety and improve sleep. Learn more here.

www.healthline.com

nice Gon avi

 

[HopefulSleep]

Weighted Blankets: Benefits, Do They Work, and More

Weighted blankets are a popular way to relieve anxiety and improve sleep. Learn more here.

www.healthline.com

I already tried that in the past but it doesn't feel like hugging.

nice Gon avi

thanks

 

[Obliviate]

Honestly, I just wrap my own arms around myself and cuddle with stuffed animals, blankets and my cats.

 

[dreamscape1111]

Yes, you can hug yourself! But even better is a Buddhist meditation practice called metta or "loving-kindness meditation".

Simply sit comfortably and place one hand on your chest. Notice your breathing rise and fall on its own. Relax your body by simply noticing its tensions.

Then, either out loud or internally, say loving things to yourself, such as:

May I be well.
May I be happy.
May I be peaceful.
May I be loved.

Notice how each repetition fills your heart with more and more love and joy, just what you were looking for, but already within!

 

[HopefulSleep]

my cats

I liked to cuddle with my dog but he is dead.

stuffed animals

Doesn't feel like the real thing.

May I be well.
May I be happy.
May I be peaceful.
May I be loved.

This is just lying to myself.

just what you were looking for, but already within!

I only have pain in me.

 

[dreamscape1111]

I only have pain in me

Good, let's not deny it, but let's also not overlook the pain's message! It's trying to wake you up, tell you that something is not quite aligned somewhere.

This is just lying to myself.

How would you know what being honest with yourself is when you can't even hug yourself and tell yourself that you love and accept yourself just as you are?
Please give the guided meditation an honest try and see if you can stay open-minded enough to come to a new conclusion.
You asked for solutions, but if you're not willing to give up the ways that lead to this, then you're not going to get anywhere.

But if not, that's okay too! It's your choice. May you be well, may you be happy, may you be at peace, may you be loved. Sending love, dear.

 

[HopefulSleep]

It's trying to wake you up, tell you that something is not quite aligned somewhere.

It is just how the human body and mind responds when it gets confronted with situations it wasn't meant for.

How would you know what being honest with yourself is when you can't even hug yourself and tell yourself that you love and accept yourself just as you are?

I hate my body and mind, why should I love it?

Please give the guided meditation an honest try and see if you can stay open-minded enough to come to a new conclusion.

I am to hyper active to relax and meditate.

 

[dreamscape1111]

I hate my body and mind, why should I love it?

Dear friend, without lying, How heavy does that thought feel?

There are no shoulds anywhere in the universe, it's just a kind suggestion, just as strong negative feelings are lovingly suggesting to us that we're judging reality somewhere and aren't with what's true. Truth is near when we feel light, joyful, at peace, and content, it's heaven, but if we're suffering, hating ourselves, judging everything all the time, thinking in terms of good and bad, then we're in hell. The choice is truly ours because remember, the kingdom of heaven is within, the world is reflecting us back to ourselves, it's a mirror.

I just took a long hot shower sitting down and it was really healing, highly recommend it, it's like giving your body the looongest hug ever! :)
Also, dim the lights down if you can and just close your eyes while listening to the water, it's the best, I've really been neglecting my body lately, and will do this more often now. It's crazy how unconditionally our bodies love us no matter how much we mistreat it, just feels right to give something back.

I am to hyper active to relax and meditate.

You don't need to meditate, there is no meditator, meditation is what we are. The "I" that has all these problems and attributes on the other hand does need to be "done", it's invented by the mind moment-to-moment, it's a story. That which is effortlessly aware of these words right now is meditation itself, it was never not aware, it is permanent, but thoughts come and go, they can't be who you are. See, you are prior to the idea of you, and without thinking, only "awareness" remains, so don't ever define yourself, you are beyond all labels, be they positive or negative ones, you are undefinable, as am I, and we both meet in the everpresent silence behind all these words.

 

[leloyon]

Not sure how much it helps since I haven't tried it yet, but I saved this picture a while back which might help you out.

 

[sulli]

god i wish
wish i could afford a weighted blanket, even

 

[thereisthemist]

huggies

 

[H.O.Xan]

yk for a fact affirmations r only useful when ur tryna achieve a state of mind, e.g. calmness or confidence. not delude urself to think "I'M HAPPY, I'M RICH" coz deep down yk ur not

 

[HopefulSleep]

Not sure how much it helps since I haven't tried it yet, but I saved this picture a while back which might help you out.
View attachment 109766

I have a weightened blanket and a body pillow of my waifu but what does the op in that thread mean by "big gel bead balls"?

 

[leloyon]

I have a weightened blanket and a body pillow of my waifu but what does the op in that thread mean by "big gel bead balls"?

I'm pretty sure I found the item shown in the image (looked at the file name of the image and it matches)

https://aliexpress.com/i/32847804641.html

 

[HopefulSleep]

I'm pretty sure I found the item shown in the image (looked at the file name of the image and it matches)

https://aliexpress.com/i/32847804641.html

How should such small anti stress balls do anything?

 

[leloyon]

How should such small anti stress balls do anything?

I don't know, I'm just sharing something I found, I said I never tried this. Maybe they're to simulate breasts?

 

[HopefulSleep]

Maybe they're to simulate breasts?

That actually makes sense.

Dear friend, without lying, How heavy does that thought feel?

It is the truth.

I just took a long hot shower sitting down and it was really healing, highly recommend it, it's like giving your body the looongest hug ever! :)

I don't like showering, I can't distract from anything then.
And also a hug is different, it is about a person loving you so much that they just want to make you feel their warmth, I love it.

 

[endofafoxtwo]

:(
I'd hug you, anon.

 

[laceandsilk]

I like heated blankets because it can sort of simulate body warmth. I don't know if you've tried it yet. At the very least it's cozy.

 

[HopefulSleep]

I like heated blankets because it can sort of simulate body warmth. I don't know if you've tried it yet. At the very least it's cozy.

That doesn't simulate a human laying on you and wraping their arms around your body.

 

[NumbItAll]

There are paid cuddle services that work for some people but it is very expensive (usually around 100 USD per hour) and personally I resent that some of us should have to pay for cuddles while others get paid for it. I've never tried it for those reasons even though I desperately want cuddles. Another option is to hug a cute animal which is nice but they don't really hug back haha. Other than that I don't think there's a substitute for real intimacy. :( Hope you can find some hugs soon @HopefulSleep!

 

[Zaya]

I just want to get hugged

Same, I dont even think I have ever been hugged by someone that wasnt from my family

 

[HopefulSleep]

There are paid cuddle services that work for some people but it is very expensive (usually around 100 USD per hour) and personally I resent that some of us should have to pay for cuddles while others get paid for it. I've never tried it for those reasons even though I desperately want cuddles. Another option is to hug a cute animal which is nice but they don't really hug back haha. Other than that I don't think there's a substitute for real intimacy. :( Hope you can find some hugs soon @HopefulSleep!

Really, you can just make money by cuddling with other? That sounds like a cool job haha. I am poor so using a service like that is no option.
Which animals don't mind being hugged? Dogs don't like it mostly afaik.
I won't find hugs before I ctb so.

 

[unnormal9]

There are paid cuddle services

Tell me this is not what you're referring too.

 

[NumbItAll]

Really, you can just make money by cuddling with other? That sounds like a cool job haha. I am poor so using a service like that is no option.
Which animals don't mind being hugged? Dogs don't like it mostly afaik.
I won't find hugs before I ctb so.

Some dogs like being held and/or cuddled, just depends on the dog haha. Same with cats. It helps increase oxytocin levels too but it's still not the same as a human hug/cuddle.

Tell me this is not what you're referring too.

I'm not familiar with that one in particular but yeah, basically those kinds of sites. I just don't like the idea of cuddling as a service though. It's nice that it's an option but the best thing IMO is mutual cuddles where you get the feeling of actually being wanted. It's very hard to find that outside of a relationship though, and many on this site including me are unable to find one. :(

 

[HopefulSleep]

Some dogs like being held and/or cuddled, just depends on the dog haha. Same with cats. It helps increase oxytocin levels too but it's still not the same as a human hug/cuddle.

I like cute dogs so much, how can I know before hugging them if they are ok with that?

 

[NumbItAll]

I like cute dogs so much, how can I know before hugging them if they are ok with that?

They probably wouldn't with a stranger but if they are comfortable with you they might come up on your lap or something. If it's a random dog on the street I'd stick to just petting only if the dog approaches you happily / the owner says it's ok. Body language is a good indicator and dogs seem to like calm and non-threatening energy. A good heuristic to to let everything happen on the animal's terms.

 

[MelancholyMagic]

Hug warm laundry fresh from the dryer.

 

[unnormal9]

I just don't like the idea of cuddling as a service though.

Hell no. Compassion is not a product to be sold.