Is it possible that I am such a useless human being?

[kinggold65]

Is it possible that a human being can be as totally useless as me? I have no qualities, I'm stupid, I can't do anything, I have a low IQ. How the fuck is it possible that they created such a monster like me? Why can't I just kill myself and end it all? I have nothing to lose, and yet I continue this mere existence.

 

[LapseInTime]

For all it's worth, I am just like that too. What's most cruel is to force one to believe otherwise, even when everything points to them being right. It may sound offensive but I am really not trying to offend anyone, not in the absolute slightest: To know that you're not smart or capable as others is not a small thing either. It's beyond some people. They can't even approach the concept of them being not as good as they've gotten themselves to believe. I like to think of it as a kind of strength, a quality that can really hurt you, but not having it can damn well hurt others. Trust me, being complacent and a fucking smartass is ignorance, it's bliss, that's undeniable. But what good does it do? What good can it do?

Every step of the way, my parents thought they were right. No regard, just them being certain. Do you think they were any "useful"? No. Did they ever know they're monsters? Furthest thing from. This confidence is what turns a jerk into a menace. Trust me, things could be worse. Coming close to that conclusion is no easy feat. Think of how many people could use a tiny portion of it.

 

[terribleson15]

Never really thought this could be possible until I grew up and realized that's me, I get what you're saying and I see myself in what you're saying. It hurts

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

Whenever I see thought trains like this I always ask "Useless in what? To whom? Where in?" Society has a hyperfocus on people being "useful", but that necessarily means that socially we see people as objects to be used. Individually, we want to feel useful, because we like the idea that we can contribute to our peers in a meaningful manner, but there is an important distinction to be made between being used and contributing to something greater than yourself.

Of course, even in a new light we can still feel like we can't contribute to those we care for, but sometimes it's the little things that matter the most. Any tiny thing can butterfly effect itself into something bigger if it's done consistently. Therefore, it's best to find something small that you can manage and work your way up to bigger things. Sometimes, its a matter of your environment too because you might not be able to contribute in certain scenarios where in others you can.

Best of luck in your journey, wherever it leads.

 

[Still here]

It hurts....