Discussion Is it normal to not want friends?

[BornToFail]

I've felt this way my whole life.

 

[makethepainstop]

I've felt this way my whole life.

If you are hurt by others enough times, you will get to hate people.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes. The truth is that some people would simply prefer to be alone and that's the way that I've always been. People can certainly be tiring and can also potentially be very cruel, in my opinion being alone is what's for the best.

 

[jodes2]

Since my depression in my 20s with failed university etc I've abandoned old friends. The social anxiety on top just adds up and makes interactions stressful. It's easier to just not have friends. Of course I'm paying the price. I never have anyone to help me with anything. I have to rely on complete strangers online or my close family or gf which limits things a lot. Fml

 

[MovingOn]

Yes, there's plenty of people who don't want friends. It's important to ask yourself if you truly don't want friends or if you don't trust people due to past experiences, etc. It's fine not ot want friends, but it's not good for you to deny yourself something you want to (if you do, I do not know).

 

[SadVegan]

Since my depression in my 20s with failed university etc I've abandoned old friends. The social anxiety on top just adds up and makes interactions stressful. It's easier to just not have friends. Of course I'm paying the price. I never have anyone to help me with anything. I have to rely on complete strangers online or my close family or gf which limits things a lot. Fml

Totally relatable

 

[shiko23]

Since the vast majority of people care quite a bit about having and maintaining friendships, I'd say no, it's not "normal" (as in what is the case for the majority). We humans are social creatures, social relationships and connecting with others play a big part in leading a life worth living for most of us (in fact there are studies on how the quality of your relationships affects your health, both physically and mentally, and its been shown that the better your relationships are, the longer and healthier you live).

On the other hand though, everyone is different, and just because it's not "normal" I don't think it's a bad thing not to want any friends. To each their own, and if that's how you truly feel, then I don't see a problem at all. But I think it's important to question why you feel that way. As others have pointed out, your view on others and social relationships in general is influenced by the experiences you made with them. Being hurt, abused, bullied, mistreated by others can lead to one deciding it's less painful not to deal with people at all.

I myself, for example, have also been at a point in life where I was convinced I don't want or need any friends. This was based on a lot of bad experiences with others, and in hindsight I know it was more of a defense mechanism than anything else. Deep down I just wanted the feeling of rejection and getting hurt by others to stop, so my subconscious decided it was better not to expose myself at all, and I convinced myself that I don't need or want anyone else. For me personally that's a very understandable reaction, and it also worked to some degree. Not attempting to find someone I could connect with meant not failing and getting hurt anymore. But at the same time I took away the possibility for me to succeed. I'm glad my mindset changed after some years and I somehow managed to open myself a bit, and I actually met some pretty cool people. Felt far better than isolating myself.

This is way easier said than done though, and I know it sounds a bit superficial, like "Hey, you just gotta go out and meet people and open up and be friends with them, yay". In reality it's much more difficult, takes a lot of time and even luck, and some people are just too hurt to even bother trying again. I completely understand that. I was at that point, too. Just wanna say that it doesn't always have to stay that way forever.

I don't mean to say that you are like I was, kinda "lying to yourself" deep down. If that's just how you are, and you feel good without friends, then go for it. Nothing wrong with it at all if you ask me.

 

[hamvil]

I've felt this way my whole life.

I guess so why not? If that is what you prefer i guess it is normal. Not everybody wants friends or partners. Enjoy life they way you want. I like to have friends but I never manage to keep them on the other hand.

 

[SpiroSundae]

I've felt this way my whole life.

I've been slowly pushing all friends away, I simply don't want them

 

[needforvoid_]

Being able to deal with other people and different situations is something I can't say am good at. Most of energy goes into taming ever rising emotions, I wish I wasn't so sensitive.
On such settings, it makes sense to take on only as much as one can, but...I hate it. I do feel like I'm missing out. Can never really grasp what seems like joy some experience from simply interacting with each other. Me I can't source that elsewhere at all either.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Idk about "normal" but it's not uncommon. I haven't had friends for years, it's easier for me. Less people to compare myself to. Occasionally, I miss having a larger social circle, but not often.

 

[Doom]

people sucks, not wanting to be around them is just a natural reaction

 

[BornToFail]

people sucks, not wanting to be around them is just a natural reaction

Natural reaction? Natural Selection?

 

[Doom]

Natural reaction? Natural Selection?

Natural reaction, because Its a expected reaction given how annoying most people are