Is it EVER acceptable to ctb due to a failed relationship?

[Mm80]

Ive seen so many posts on this and the general feeling seems to be no, its not a just reason as things get better etc.
The start of my downfall was due to theend of a lovely relationship that i fucked up.
I took measures to try to feel better, moved areas/job to get away from the memories, allowed time (over a year)instead of acting impulsively.
But it feels like ive been haunted on a deep level and the pain is just as raw everyday, almost like time isnt makimg things better like it normally would. Memories pop up everyday and she turns up in my dreams.
I suppose im asking if anyone thinks that its ever a good reason to ctb. Does someone ever meet the soulmate and never get over it?
Thank you.

 

[Painless_end]

No reason is good enough for CTB if you are mentally strong.

But even the seemingly smallest reason can be enough for a truly tormented soul to CTB.

It depends on every individual's unique circumstances and their mental willingness either to live or CTB.

Hence your question cannot be answered. Because you are asking as if CTB is something that fits into the overall tapestry of life till a person dies from old age.

CTB is the tear in the fabric that never heals. It is outside the entire scope of life. It is the ultimate decision every person can make.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

There is no right or wrong reason to CTB. People have their own personal reasons and it's entirely your decision to make.

There's alot of SS users that were brought here because of failed relationships. I came here after I separated from my wife. So you're definitely not alone in how you feel.

 

[Avvie]

The pain of a failed relationship is intense, trust me I've been there as I am sure have many of us on here.

I'm pretty old, so I've been there more than once. The pain fades, it really does, even if it takes a long time.

 

[Mm80]

No reason is good enough for CTB if you are mentally strong.

But even the seemingly smallest reason can be enough for a truly tormented soul to CTB.

It depends on every individual's unique circumstances and their mental willingness either to live or CTB.

Hence your question cannot be answered. Because you are asking as if CTB is something that fits into the overall tapestry of life till a person dies from old age.

CTB is the tear in the fabric that never heals. It is outside the entire scope of life. It is the ultimate decision every person can make.

No reason is good enough for CTB if you are mentally strong.
I think it often takes mental strength to ctb.

 

[WhatIsMyLife]

I hate it when people judge people for their reasons for wanting to ctb. Especially on here.

Relationships ending are awful, and can emotionally destroy people. Losing someone you genuinely care about, someone who is most lilely your best friend is awful. I have no problem with relationship breakdowns for being a ctb reason.

 

[Painless_end]

No reason is good enough for CTB if you are mentally strong.
I think it often takes mental strength to ctb.

Yes I agree with you. I mean to say no reason to CTB for a person who wants to survive at any cost till natural death.

I don't know what to call it. Lust for life ? Desire to grow old and die naturally ?

For me those things take so much strength that I hardly possess, hence I call it strength.

 

[Mm80]

Yes I agree with you. I mean to say no reason to CTB for a person who wants to survive at any cost till natural death.

I don't know what to call it. Lust for life ? Desire to grow old and die naturally ?

For me those things take so much strength that I hardly possess, hence I call it strength.

Apologies i misread you i get what you mean now and totally agree.
Thanks

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

If you're seeking validation for the motivation and the choice, here you go:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ctb-because-of-loneliness-or-breakups.43068/

 

[so tired or manic]

my last relationship resulted in destroyed credit and the lack of a car anymore, which the destroyed credit does nothing to help.

it also gave me PTSD.

there's too much gray area to make such a generalized statement.

 

[mem12]

Ive seen so many posts on this and the general feeling seems to be no, its not a just reason as things get better etc.
The start of my downfall was due to theend of a lovely relationship that i fucked up.
I took measures to try to feel better, moved areas/job to get away from the memories, allowed time (over a year)instead of acting impulsively.
But it feels like ive been haunted on a deep level and the pain is just as raw everyday, almost like time isnt makimg things better like it normally would. Memories pop up everyday and she turns up in my dreams.
I suppose im asking if anyone thinks that its ever a good reason to ctb. Does someone ever meet the soulmate and never get over it?
Thank you.

Failed relationship is the reason I plan to ctb

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Are they really a soulmate if they don't agree that you're theirs? Or, from my own experience and not necessarily yours, are they your favorite thing and they took your favorite thing away?

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I find it very upsetting when people judge and say "certain reasons to ctb aren't valid". I think a lot of people don't understand the life altering devastation of a relationship ending or loosing someone. People say "just find someone else"....well the person lost was unique, special and not replaceable in many cases.

It's all up to the person and what they can handle in life. Everyone grieves differently. What some people can get over others cannot. Im in a similar situation. I came to SS for many reasons but a failed relationship was a huge huge factor. Sending you hugs OP.

 

[Mm80]

Are they really a soulmate if they don't agree that you're theirs? Or, from my own experience and not necessarily yours, are they your favorite thing and they took your favorite thing away?

Possibly the latter, it just normally doesnt take this long to feel better which makes me think its had a deeper effecton me. This person did everything not for us to break up and i neglected the relationship and only realised when it was too late.

 

[Painless_end]

Apologies i misread you i get what you mean now and totally agree.
Thanks

It's ok no problem

I find it very upsetting when people judge and say "certain reasons to ctb aren't valid".

Yes no one can say that. That's what I said. The overall life experience of every person differs. Anything can set someone off. There's no way to predict with certainty.

 

[Mm80]

I find it very upsetting when people judge and say "certain reasons to ctb aren't valid". I think a lot of people don't understand the life altering devastation of a relationship ending or loosing someone. People say "just find someone else"....well the person lost was unique, special and not replaceable in many cases.

It's all up to the person and what they can handle in life. Everyone grieves differently. What some people can get over others cannot. Im in a similar situation. I came to SS for many reasons but a failed relationship was a huge huge factor. Sending you hugs OP.

Thank you so much x i often think that folks on here are trying to help others as most people do get over relationships and sometimes feel suicidal for a short while after splitting up, especially when young.
But i just ask myself at what point do i accept this isnt getting better .
Thanks

 

[draw a circle]

I've been passively suicidal for about two years before coming here, but the thing that pushed me into extensive research and ultimately leads me here is a broken heart. Who's to judge if anyone's reason to die is valid or not? If you're asking someone who isn't suicidal, no reason is going to be acceptable to ctb. People don't have to accept your reasons for your pain to be valid. Hope your pain eases soon though. Good luck

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

Every reason to ctb is a good reason. There's no unacceptable reasons to ctb like people already mentioned.

 

[Mm80]

Every reason to ctb is a good reason. There's no unacceptable reasons to ctb like people already mentioned.

Thank you. I suppose thats the main question for me. Ive seen members on here instictively and very kindly convince someone away from ctb when it was obvious they didnt really want to. Out of compassion. Im just wondering at what point does it go from an impulsive reaction to a situation that is likely to get better, to an inevitable death sentence.
I guess thats a very personal and individual judgement that only i can make, but the imput and support is so good as its the only place to talk openly.
Thanks

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Decades ago, I had a person who was my favorite thing, and though he deeply cared about me, he took my favorite thing away. It took many years to get over him.

It's only been in recent years that I've gotten new perspective and peace about it. Some of the things I was doing, I was ignorant about. Rather than give in to my ways and my perspective, he withdrew. He maintained himself. Because I now do the same, I deeply respect what he did. He would have had to give things up about himself to remain with me, and he would not have been who I loved, we would have both been living in my wrong views, and it would have harmed us both.

@Mm80, I respect that you recognize your errors. Maybe in time you can be happy for the other that s/he maintained their own self and was strong enough to do so. Maybe you can take from the experience the value of having become aware of your ignorance and move forward with that gift so that it serves you in how you interact with yourself and others.

 

[Mm80]

Decades ago, I had a person who was my favorite thing, and though he deeply cared about me, he took my favorite thing away. It took many years to get over him.

It's only been in recent years that I've gotten new perspective and peace about it. Some of the things I was doing, I was ignorant about. Rather than give in to my ways and my perspective, he withdrew. He maintained himself. Because I now do the same, I deeply respect what he did. He would have had to give things up about himself to remain with me, and he would not have been who I loved, we would have both been living in my wrong views, and it would have harmed us both.

@Mm80, I respect that you recognize your errors. Maybe in time you can be happy for the other that s/he maintained their own self and was strong enough to do so. Maybe you can take from the experience the value of having become aware of your ignorance and move forward with that gift so that it serves you in how you interact with yourself and others.

Thank you goodpersoneffed always appreciate your sound and honest advice.

 

[TAW122]

I think any reason can be valid for the person who is suffering because no one person suffers the same and everyone's personal predicaments are different. With that said, as a general rule and this is just my two cents, so take it for you will. If the problem is a temporary one and unlikely to have long lasting negative impacts on your quality of life and your future, then I would advise against CTB'ing from it. Instead, I would suggest trying other solutions first to solve said problem before resorting to CTB.

However, if said problem is recurring and chronic, unrelenting, then yes, it could make sense to end one's own pain to save oneself from future potential suffering. Ultimately, it's up to the person to decide whether life is worth continuing and living for said person or whether self-deliverance would be the solution.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Agree with @thrw_a_way1221221 and would add that some people don't have the internal or external resources to deal with the pain. I don't put any negative judgment on that, sometimes that's simply how it is.

 

[woxihuanni]

What will people do if it's not acceptable, kill you for it?

 

[Mm80]

What will people do if it's not acceptable, kill you for it?

Lol no it was more to see what the communities thoughts are on the topic. Couldnt give a shit about hearing the pro life bullshit around it.

 

[LookingOverTheEdge]

Rather than answer the question directly, I'll say that I think we are all different. We all have different thresholds for what we can live with, and we all react differently to things. Something that person A might not spare a moments thought to, could be the thing the pushes person B over the edge.

In short, you can never really know how someone else is feeling, so you can never really say that their reason isn't valid. It just might not seem like it from your perspective.

 

[rhiino]

There is no reason too insignificant to suicide because of it. It solely depends on the pain it is causing, how much pain the person can take and how long they can take it.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I think it can be totally reasonable. Suicide is about your feelings, not about whether or not your life can be possibly changed into what others consider to be better. A relationship can be a supporting pillar in your life and losing one can cause your emotional state to crumble. You may not be remotely interested in the idea of finding another partner; perhaps the partner you had was part of the exact life you desperately wanted and that role can't be filled by someone else in your eyes.

I do believe that people should allow the initial shock of a breakup to pass since many people do get over it just fine, but I absolutely think a breakup can be a significant part of your reason to ctb.

 

[Mm80]

I think it can be totally reasonable. Suicide is about your feelings, not about whether or not your life can be possibly changed into what others consider to be better. A relationship can be a supporting pillar in your life and losing one can cause your emotional state to crumble. You may not be remotely interested in the idea of finding another partner; perhaps the partner you had was part of the exact life you desperately wanted and that role can't be filled by someone else in your eyes.

I do believe that people should allow the initial shock of a breakup to pass since many people do get over it just fine, but I absolutely think a breakup can be a significant part of your reason to ctb.

Thank you makes total sense.
I so agree with allowing the initial shock to pass as in the past uf id ctb when splitting up with an ex it woukd have been wrong for me as ive recovered and had good times after. On this one it just seems like such a deeper cut that time just doesnt seem to heal like in the past.
Thanks

 

[toms_space_station]

A failed relationship may surely be the straw that breaks the camels back.
Sometimes it stops us from sleeping, and makes us feel immense emotions such as guilt, nostalgia, anger, etc
Everyone's pain is different, and someones pain can take one to the brink of insanity.