Venting Too pretty to ctb

[Emerita]

This is going to be an annoying thing to complain about, I'm sorry but I need to say it.

I hate being told that I'm too pretty to ctb. I just feel why does my appearance have to be brought up as a reason it's not justified to ctb? When someone says that, it feels like they're implying that because of how I look, I can't truly be suffering or if I am its not valid. I'm tired of people using that as a reason I shouldn't ctb or feel the way I do.

The truth is, I don't even feel pretty. I don't even think I want to be seen as pretty I wish I were neutral or better yet invisible. That's part of why I feel safe here, in this space. To all of you, I'm just words on a screen I have no body or face, and that feels a little freeing. I don't like having a body and I don't like being perceived. Im hiki so the closest thing to invisible other than death.

But being told that makes me feel invisible in a different way, I don't know how to explain it. I'm sorry this is a stupid thing to complain about, but I genuinely hate it. Im sry

 

[LittleMagician]

This is going to be an annoying thing to complain about, I'm sorry but I need to say it.

I hate being told that I'm too pretty to ctb. I just feel why does my appearance have to be brought up as a reason it's not justified to ctb? When someone says that, it feels like they're implying that because of how I look, I can't truly be suffering or if I am its not valid. I'm tired of people using that as a reason I shouldn't ctb or feel the way I do.

The truth is, I don't even feel pretty. I don't even think I want to be seen as pretty I wish I were neutral or better yet invisible. That's part of why I feel safe here, in this space. To all of you, I'm just words on a screen I have no body or face, and that feels a little freeing. I don't like having a body and I don't like being perceived. Im hiki so the closest thing to invisible other than death.

But being told that makes me feel invisible in a different way, I don't know how to explain it. I'm sorry this is a stupid thing to complain about, but I genuinely hate it. Im sry

Well if it makes you feel better pretty much everybody says this to any suicidal female as they think that a woman's self esteem should be primarily focused on the way they look, no matter how they actually look. So take it with a grain of salt

 

[Forever Sleep]

I also find it disturbing. Probably from a quite feminist standpoint I suppose. I'm assuming your female and pretty. In which case- what is the inference here? That attractive women should hang around to be ogled and service men? Why else do they need them alive? Why would they need a pretty woman alive more than an ugly one? Other than to be admired/ lusted over?

I suppose women do it too- admire beautiful women and assume they have everything going for them. Another member commented that on a similar post. Maybe it's just more shocking for everyone when 'beautiful' men and women suicide. I suppose we assume they have more opportunities in life. For what though exactly? What does a woman do with good looks that isn't reliant on men ogling them? Maybe they don't all enjoy that or, having to use that or defend that if they are successful but also attractive.

I wonder if the same goes for handsome guys. Maybe. I suppose when we see photographs of people who have committed suicide, we maybe tend to make judgements. It's certainly more shocking when they are attractive I suppose. Or wealthy or seemingly have taken care of themselves up till then.

I suppose it's the whole 'missed potential' thing when someone suicides. I suppose our looks are our most obvious attribute (or failing.)

 

[_Gollum_]

Agreed, it belies the fact that people do see physical appearance as the main value-generator for females, no matter how much they lie through their teeth about "what's inside" mattering more.

And since they're so averse to those they perceive as having "high-value" CTBing, a pretty woman CTBing necessarily becomes highly uncomfortable, though I'm sure they'd also feel the same way about, say, someone "intelligent" studying for their PhD at Harvard CTBing. For all their talk of the preciousness and sanctity of life and whatnot, they sure seem to have preferences.

 

[cme-dme]

Ugh...that reminds me of a thread I saw here a while back where people here were responding to a video of a women committing suicide and the first comments were just commenting on her appearance and how pretty she was >.< It felt so sick to see that on this very forum...Like suddenly when a pretty or attractive women commits suicide its appropriate to comment on their appearance and objectify them in their darkest final moments in life...so so gross!

 

[LittleMagician]

Ugh...that reminds me of a thread I saw here a while back where people here were responding to a video of a women committing suicide and the first comments were just commenting on her appearance and how pretty she was >.< It felt so sick to see that on this very forum...Like suddenly when a pretty or attractive women commits suicide its appropriate to comment on their appearance and objectify them in their darkest final moments in life...so so gross!

I think it's women in general. I remember venting to a "friend" about ctb and how I needed to do it. He said "well if you're gonna die can I at least have sex with you first". Men are vile, doesn't matter who you are or what you are. Women too, but men more.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

I think it's women in general. I remember venting to a "friend" about ctb and how I needed to do it. He said "well if you're gonna die can I at least have sex with you first". Men are vile, doesn't matter who you are or what you are. Women too, but men more.

Who the fuck is twisted and selfish and insensitive enough to even say that? Really? Like, hey, I know you're suicidal, let me reduce your worth to the pleasure I can get from your body.

Holy shit, I'm truly sorry you had to go through that

 

[Carrot]

This is going to be an annoying thing to complain about, I'm sorry but I need to say it.

(...) I'm sorry this is a stupid thing to complain about, but I genuinely hate it. Im sry

You are not complaining about being too pretty, but more about how shallowly, vainly people perceive you. Not sure if clearing that makes you feel better. People can complain about things, it's fine. We all perceive things differently based on our experiences. You could say very rich peopel shouldn't complain, but they do have their problems. Somebody who works 9-5 would love to be in their position and they complain about their job. Some homeless person would love to have a job and normal life. It's not a who-has-it-worse contest.

My appearance and appearance of others unfrotunately is improtant to me, especially since I was bullied for years over certain things I couldn't even change about myself. Society and everything around me confirms that looking good is important, so we try to look good, at the same time knowing how shallow it is. To some extent it might be healthy to show that you can take care of yourself, but that's not always how it is.

I think it's women in general. I remember venting to a "friend" about ctb and how I needed to do it. He said "well if you're gonna die can I at least have sex with you first". Men are vile, doesn't matter who you are or what you are. Women too, but men more.

That's some serious lack of empathy on your "friends" part.

 

[bankai]

Ughh such a minefield of a thread.I'm not going to say anything for now.Just don't paint all men with the same brush.


OP your existence matters more than your physical body.You are more than what you look like.I'm sorry you're struggling and I hope things get better.

 

[Dejected 55]

It does usually seem to happen more with women, but it can be true of men as well. I mean, I am far from handsome even when I was young and in good shape... but I remember as a young man visiting family and people kept asking me about having a girlfriend or "breaking hearts" or whatever to the point where I was so glad when I became old enough to stay home and not go visiting relatives anymore.

I know women also hate when someone says to them "you should smile more" or "you'd be prettier if you smile" and such... but I've had people say that to me also. It surprised me at first, because I always hear about it happening to women... but it does happen to men too... and I 100% get it.

I haven't been told I'm too handsome to end things... but I am told sometimes how I'm "great" and "have a lot to offer" or whatever, but I'm always great for "someone else" or have a lot to offer to "someone" or whatever.

Either they mean it and it is meaningless to me if the only people who say it don't want it from me... or they don't mean it and it is pacifying platitudes.

So, I get where you're coming from... whatever in your life is weighing you down and making you want to give up... I 100% get how someone saying you're too pretty is at best misguided and at worst insulting. Stuff like that always shows me that people aren't listening and don't care, and it doesn't surprise me but it somehow always still disappoints me.

 

[NSA]

No u got every right to be annoyed it's def a dumb thing to say to someone. I can only hope they meant well by it, or just trying to be funny, albiet poorly.

 

[Polyxo]

I feel so genuinely ugly, down to the core. Like my very existence is a curse. Being told that I'm too pretty to CTB just makes me want to do it even more.

 

[LittleMagician]

Who the fuck is twisted and selfish and insensitive enough to even say that? Really? Like, hey, I know you're suicidal, let me reduce your worth to the pleasure I can get from your body.

Holy shit, I'm truly sorry you had to go through that

Thank you but it really didn't bother me because I have grown used to the depravity of human beings

 

[SecretDissociation]

Honestly, I have the opposite problem. I think I'm too ugly. That my body will be an eyesore to whoever finds it or has to prep it for burial.

But honestly sometimes thinking about how my friend died and how the last thing anybody probably thought was whether she was ugly or pretty or whatever helps me rationalise how when death is met your funeral visitors will only mourn.

 

[spark]

This is going to be an annoying thing to complain about, I'm sorry but I need to say it.

I hate being told that I'm too pretty to ctb. I just feel why does my appearance have to be brought up as a reason it's not justified to ctb? When someone says that, it feels like they're implying that because of how I look, I can't truly be suffering or if I am its not valid. I'm tired of people using that as a reason I shouldn't ctb or feel the way I do.

The truth is, I don't even feel pretty. I don't even think I want to be seen as pretty I wish I were neutral or better yet invisible. That's part of why I feel safe here, in this space. To all of you, I'm just words on a screen I have no body or face, and that feels a little freeing. I don't like having a body and I don't like being perceived. Im hiki so the closest thing to invisible other than death.

But being told that makes me feel invisible in a different way, I don't know how to explain it. I'm sorry this is a stupid thing to complain about, but I genuinely hate it. Im sry

It's not silly.
I feel that so much.
Also tbh, I feel like nothing is too silly to vent about and the entire point of this board is that ppl can feel free to share what's on their mind without being judged for it.
It resonates with me a lot, been told similar things and it always feeds into dysphoria in a very weird way, idk. I hate this vessel.

 

[broken_stoic]

This is going to be an annoying thing to complain about, I'm sorry but I need to say it.

I hate being told that I'm too pretty to ctb. I just feel why does my appearance have to be brought up as a reason it's not justified to ctb? When someone says that, it feels like they're implying that because of how I look, I can't truly be suffering or if I am its not valid. I'm tired of people using that as a reason I shouldn't ctb or feel the way I do.

The truth is, I don't even feel pretty. I don't even think I want to be seen as pretty I wish I were neutral or better yet invisible. That's part of why I feel safe here, in this space. To all of you, I'm just words on a screen I have no body or face, and that feels a little freeing. I don't like having a body and I don't like being perceived. Im hiki so the closest thing to invisible other than death.

But being told that makes me feel invisible in a different way, I don't know how to explain it. I'm sorry this is a stupid thing to complain about, but I genuinely hate it. Im sry

Not stupid to complain about. Thank you for expressing that and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. Not something I would ever say to anyone, but it can be easy to forget how much shit women have to put up with.