You saw fake pictures they sent? How awful! How did you find out the truth? You never had video chats I guess.
You got tricked but I wish you could put it behind you somehow. It is hard to imagine that kind of cruelty.
It was pretty crazy. I'm not going to say everything because that'll be a long read but there were red flags already in the first months of our 'relationship' but there started to be more as time progressed. Also the girl behind this pretended to be his sister. I mention this because this is what led to me finding out.
During the summer of 2017, I already had the suspicion that something wasn't right and did some investigating by searching up her accounts on different sites without her knowing. I also payed close attention to her conversations with others and payed attention to other people who I suspected might be her(She was catfishing multiple people and had more than 2 personas).
I ended up finding out some really suspicious and straightforward stuff that proved that the person I thought I was dating wasn't real at all.
However, I didn't really know what to do with it. I was even beginning to panic in fear of this ending and having to come face the reality that this person never loved me and I wasted years on them.
So I waited while not knowing what to do. I didn't want to accept it. I didn't want that to be the truth. I didn't want the only thing that made me happy come to an end. But all of it came to an end after finding out the persona had cheated on me with another girl.
It pushed me to the edge and that's when I finally accepted the fact that I was being catfished and had to face reality.
I obviously didn't take it well at all. I felt so worthless. I had constant anxiety attacks because of it. This is what caused me to attempt to ctb for the first time.
This also caused me to lose all of my friendships. Part of the reason why I lost them was because this situation showed me who my real friends were. The fake friends went onto the catfisher's side and continued to believe her lies and support her. Even one person who I was friends with way before we met the catfish went on her side. She was even being catfished by one of her personas. They are still friends to this day.
I had a couple of real friendships but I ended up leaving them due to my extreme anxiety and distress by everything that was going on. I really regret that.
2017 was a pretty hectic year in general. Everything was shoved into my face.
I guess I would actually be able to put it behind me if this was only a one time thing. The reason why it hurts me so much is because my whole life I never felt loved or wanted. Even as a child.
And through this person I actually felt like I was for once. You wouldn't understand just how special this person was to me. They actually gave me a reason to live despite all the bad things that were happening in my life. And to find out that it wasn't like that at all and non of it was real hurts me so much.
The time I actually do feel loved and wanted, of course it's not real. Which is why I continue to hold onto this. Everything about this situation was just a disaster but also brought everything up front and showed me the reality of things. I feel as though this proved that no one would ever love and care about me and no matter what I do, nothing will ever go my way or at least be okay.
that pathetic excuse for a human being is sick and disgusting; the world can be so cruel. i hope you find peace soon
we will always be here to support you
Thank you. You honestly don't know how much that means to me. You made my night.
If this is the reason I wish there was some way to get past that. I just hate to see someone ctb because of some idiot.
I understand where you're coming from but it's not only just because of that. It's mainly because nothing ever goes right and everything just gets worse. And everything that happened in 2017 strongly proves this.
I'll put literally everything into something only to end up failing or realizing it was just a waste of time and energy.
Like nothing can even at least be okay. I'll try to enjoy something, even something little and it'll get ruin some way or another.
This is how my life has always been. I've been suffering ever since I was born. I genuinely don't understand why. And if my life is going to continue to be like this, why put up the fight to live it?
I always wake up being so depressed and barely have any motivation to even get out of bed because what's the point?
I'm just so tired and I feel so alone.
