Is Falling in Love Worth it?

[Meditation guide]

It was actually a immature selfish girl pretending to be a man just for amusement and laughs.

You saw fake pictures they sent? How awful! How did you find out the truth? You never had video chats I guess.

You got tricked but I wish you could put it behind you somehow. It is hard to imagine that kind of cruelty.

 

[checkouttime]

I got into an online relationship with someone in 2014. I absolutely loved this person and they made me so happy. We had an on and off relationship until 2017. Want to know why it ended? Turns out the person I was in love with didn't even exist. It was actually a immature selfish girl pretending to be a man just for amusement and laughs. This really fucked me up and it still does. This is one of the main reasons I'm planning to ctb. All of those years I wasted on her. I genuinely thought someone loved me and of course they didn't.

thats why you have to be so careful online. sorry for what happened to you. these idiots who think its fun pretending they are someone else don't realise what pain they can cause

 

[HopeIsLost]

thats why you have to be so careful online. sorry for what happened to you. these idiots who think its fun pretending they are someone else don't realise what pain they can cause

I know but I was much younger back then and desperate for love as I never got it before. Not even by my own family. I even ignored the red flags which were presented in 2014.

I definitely learned the lessons and know better now but it doesn't really matter as I'm planning to ctb.

 

[flatearth]

I got into an online relationship with someone in 2014. I absolutely loved this person and they made me so happy. We had an on and off relationship until 2017. Want to know why it ended? Turns out the person I was in love with didn't even exist. It was actually a immature selfish girl pretending to be a man just for amusement and laughs. This really fucked me up and it still does. This is one of the main reasons I'm planning to ctb. All of those years I wasted on her. I genuinely thought someone loved me and of course they didn't.

that pathetic excuse for a human being is sick and disgusting; the world can be so cruel. i hope you find peace soon
we will always be here to support you

 

[Meditation guide]

it doesn't really matter as I'm planning to ctb.

If this is the reason I wish there was some way to get past that. I just hate to see someone ctb because of some idiot.

 

[checkouttime]

I know but I was much younger back then and desperate for love as I never got it before. Not even by my own family. I even ignored the red flags which were presented in 2014.

I definitely learned the lessons and know better now but it doesn't really matter as I'm planning to ctb.

i just never understood the whole pretending you are something you aren't personally. like you have to be pretty fucked up, to sit at a computer and do that shit in the 1st place.

total arseholes taking advantage of vulnerable people, makes me mad!

 

[okdoomer]

Is anything worth it? Although, I would say that I probably wouldn't be having such a hard time emotionally if I were in love with someone who loved me back. I think being in love has marked the happiest moments of my life, but simultaneously destroyed me when it inevitably fell through.

 

[HopeIsLost]

You saw fake pictures they sent? How awful! How did you find out the truth? You never had video chats I guess.

You got tricked but I wish you could put it behind you somehow. It is hard to imagine that kind of cruelty.

It was pretty crazy. I'm not going to say everything because that'll be a long read but there were red flags already in the first months of our 'relationship' but there started to be more as time progressed. Also the girl behind this pretended to be his sister. I mention this because this is what led to me finding out.

During the summer of 2017, I already had the suspicion that something wasn't right and did some investigating by searching up her accounts on different sites without her knowing. I also payed close attention to her conversations with others and payed attention to other people who I suspected might be her(She was catfishing multiple people and had more than 2 personas).

I ended up finding out some really suspicious and straightforward stuff that proved that the person I thought I was dating wasn't real at all.

However, I didn't really know what to do with it. I was even beginning to panic in fear of this ending and having to come face the reality that this person never loved me and I wasted years on them.

So I waited while not knowing what to do. I didn't want to accept it. I didn't want that to be the truth. I didn't want the only thing that made me happy come to an end. But all of it came to an end after finding out the persona had cheated on me with another girl.

It pushed me to the edge and that's when I finally accepted the fact that I was being catfished and had to face reality.

I obviously didn't take it well at all. I felt so worthless. I had constant anxiety attacks because of it. This is what caused me to attempt to ctb for the first time.

This also caused me to lose all of my friendships. Part of the reason why I lost them was because this situation showed me who my real friends were. The fake friends went onto the catfisher's side and continued to believe her lies and support her. Even one person who I was friends with way before we met the catfish went on her side. She was even being catfished by one of her personas. They are still friends to this day.

I had a couple of real friendships but I ended up leaving them due to my extreme anxiety and distress by everything that was going on. I really regret that.

2017 was a pretty hectic year in general. Everything was shoved into my face.

I guess I would actually be able to put it behind me if this was only a one time thing. The reason why it hurts me so much is because my whole life I never felt loved or wanted. Even as a child.

And through this person I actually felt like I was for once. You wouldn't understand just how special this person was to me. They actually gave me a reason to live despite all the bad things that were happening in my life. And to find out that it wasn't like that at all and non of it was real hurts me so much.

The time I actually do feel loved and wanted, of course it's not real. Which is why I continue to hold onto this. Everything about this situation was just a disaster but also brought everything up front and showed me the reality of things. I feel as though this proved that no one would ever love and care about me and no matter what I do, nothing will ever go my way or at least be okay.

that pathetic excuse for a human being is sick and disgusting; the world can be so cruel. i hope you find peace soon
we will always be here to support you

Thank you. You honestly don't know how much that means to me. You made my night.

If this is the reason I wish there was some way to get past that. I just hate to see someone ctb because of some idiot.

I understand where you're coming from but it's not only just because of that. It's mainly because nothing ever goes right and everything just gets worse. And everything that happened in 2017 strongly proves this.

I'll put literally everything into something only to end up failing or realizing it was just a waste of time and energy.

Like nothing can even at least be okay. I'll try to enjoy something, even something little and it'll get ruin some way or another.

This is how my life has always been. I've been suffering ever since I was born. I genuinely don't understand why. And if my life is going to continue to be like this, why put up the fight to live it?

I always wake up being so depressed and barely have any motivation to even get out of bed because what's the point?

I'm just so tired and I feel so alone.

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

@HopeIsLost that is so incredibly messed up I don't even know how to make sense of it. How can someone put so much time and effort in to something just for the sake of lying and manipulating another person. It's not like a money scam or something, it's so much more twisted with little to no real gain.

You are worth so much more than whoever that deranged person is. We can all do stupid things but that takes evil. Wish you all the peace in the world.

 

[Infinite Conscious]

0/5 in relationships with love, 0/50 in relationships with sex.

Definitely not worth it.
Every relationship is doomed from the very start.

But it is the best feeling in the world.
Just like drugs.
First it's great, then an inevitable breakdown of every aspect of life.

 

[MiseryLovesMyCompany]

It's never been a voluntary thing for me, so I can't say if it's worth it or not since it's not a choice. It has brought me some of the greatest pleasures I've had in life, but it has also made me feel pain greater than I could ever imagined.

I would have said the same thing. Looking back, I couldn't have experienced that kind of pleasure in any other way than falling in love, although there was so much pain involved at times, especially after a breakup. Somehow it was always the other person who stopped loving me, which really made me unsure if I even worth something.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Always, when it's reciprocal.

The neurotransmitters released through being in love are phenomenal. My challenge was always maintaining the level of neurotransmitters through the duration of the process. Not sure this is possible for extended periods of multiple years or decades, at least it hasn't been in my case.

Lots of self knowledge acquired through the process of being in love.

 

[HopeIsLost]

@HopeIsLost that is so incredibly messed up I don't even know how to make sense of it. How can someone put so much time and effort in to something just for the sake of lying and manipulating another person. It's not like a money scam or something, it's so much more twisted with little to no real gain.

You are worth so much more than whoever that deranged person is. We can all do stupid things but that takes evil. Wish you all the peace in the world.

I never understood it myself either. But thank you so much. I really needed to hear that today. I wish you peace as well.

 

[Pol]

it is worth it. while it lasts.

i agree -- falling in love is a dangerous thing

 

[Meditation guide]

Lots of self knowledge acquired through the process of being in love.

That's true if you can use it when it's over to learn about yourself and how you relate to people. While you are in it it's kind of hard to be rational. You can't really see what is actually happening. At least I couldn't.

 

[Aap]

Every romantic relationship you have is going to fail until one doesn't...hopefully

 

[voyager (D)]

Love is the second worst thing evolution has produced.

The worst that evolution has produced are people whose statements cannot be relied on.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Is falling in love really worth it? People ultimately change. Falling in love is a dangerous thing. There's always the possibility that they will fall out of love. When they do, life becomes miserable for the other.

The feeling to live life becomes weaker.

Every relationship you invest in emotionally ends in heartache, or if it lasts, becomes a routine festering with quiet resentment.

Every romantic relationship you have is going to fail until one doesn't...hopefully

Very optimistic.

 

[Dizzylady80]

I definitely think it's worth it. I broke up with my girlfriend of 7 years because she didn't love me anymore, it was incredibly painful, and 100% worth it. Everything ends one way or another, and endings are always hard. Even if you "make it" that just means one of you is gonna die before the other, which is even more painful than a breakup. But the greatest beauty is often found in the darkest places, and that juxtaposition in my opinion makes it even more beautiful

 

[sadworld]

Falling in love feels like a curse.

 

[Symbiote]

Every relationship you invest in emotionally ends in heartache, or if it lasts, becomes a routine festering with quiet resentment.

THIS ^ 100%. A relationship is like getting another job, a life long job with few benefits. Everything becomes routine until one of you gives up and calls it quit, then following that is regret, heartache, and all the memories of why it failed.

 

[Astronomer]

My ex made me hate this thing called 'love'

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Falling in love feels like a curse.

It is a curse. You cannot stop thinking about the person, even though you know you are not right for each other because two wrongs don't make a right.

 

[Symbiote]

Love, can take a mentally healthy person and turn them ill in a few years. Love can drive a healthy person to suicide. Easy to endure hate than to endure love, because with hate, you can turn it off and it doesn't bother you as much anymore. "Oh? You hate me? Well begone bitch!" "You love me? How much? How so? For how long? .... etc....etc..."

 

[Umbrellaterm]

Love is just simply a program in your brain, triggered by emotions basically. The problem arises when the program is opened because then rationality is out the window.

It is a curse. You cannot stop thinking about the person, even though you know you are not right for each other because two wrongs don't make a right.

I wouldn't say that's necessarily true.

 

[Amumu]

I'd probably be even more depressed if I didn't believe in it...
Try not to become cynical as fuck. It sucks, really.

 

[Nutshell]

No matter how many times it has burnt me, I just can't stop myself.. I rather think that that maybe the point.. you have to take the bad with the good. Without bad there is no good and vice versa.
It's utterly pain wrenchingly terrible but.. It feels so damn good.
Never stop falling in love.
love is the only point in life IMO
So many amazing and wonderful experiences to be had.
My heart has acquired many scars and holes but it can heal. With each relationship I lose a bit of myself and gain something new. I guess that is the ultimate exchange. I wear my heart on my sleeve and each time there is a point I say to myself "why? Why am I doing this to myself again"
And then the time comes where am reminded of why. I know I can't ever stop. For love is the one true gift I have and the only thing I have desired my whole life.

 

[CrazyMary]

As they said on the series Watchmen, every love story ends in tragedy. Eithe ryou guys break up or in the end someone dies and leaves the other hurting. Love can help you get out of a depression. You have to consider that the feeling of being in love disappears after 2 years in average, then people remain together just for other reasons like: they have the same life plan, they still love (not in love) each other, they have kids, etc. After that period that´s when you start seeing the ugly in the other. You start hating the way they chew their food, or their tantrums that were adorable in the beginning. And it also works the other way. If you are asking about just falling in love well you will probably suffer in the end. If you are asking about having a real life partner then it might be worth it if you find someone that fits your needs (and you fit theirs too). But I guess a lot of us here are not ready for a relationship and should fix a lot inside us before getting out. At least that´s what I think.

 

[Disappointered]

I guess it will just depend on each person's experiences but overall it seems like a bad deal for humanity in general. Maybe we're trapped in a stage in human cultural evolution that makes us slaves to love. Some people they are borderline psychos or have some other aberration that dulls the emotional parts of their mind but for most there has to be a purpose to life connected to emotions and social existence. It could be religion, it could be a social or political ideal or...it could be romantic love. That last one seems, to me, to be the purpose of life and the only thing that gives life value. But is it? Maybe humans could do better. Plus, the way love is connected to sex is a problem. Most people are not going to be able to fuse the two perfectly, especially in the crazed hypersexual society we're currently being subjected to. Ultimately I would have to vote no, love isn't worth it because love is the precious jewel everyone normal desperately longs for but only a few find and even fewer find w/o major problems attached that lead to horrible merciless suffering. Life's value = love. love = generalized misery with a few enormous rewards, therefore Life = no value for almost everyone. I don't like gambling especially with those odds and potentially severe consequences. If humans can't move past love (and it may well be that it's impossible) then that proves that life is a horrible trap. I guess i'm just rambling about how antinatalist I am but I realize now that it's justified by the fact that love - which is beyond repair flawed - is the foundation of all human pursuit. Could be nonsense but i don't care...i stopped thinking in a disciplined fashion a long time ago.

 

[Weary Soul]

Early-onset, giddy, romantic love?

In my experience - Absolutely not.

I have come to the conclusion that this feeling is driven by brain chemicals to propagate one of human's most fundamental biological imperatives - survival of the species.

But experience and beliefs are different for everyone.