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DyingAlf

Specialist
Aug 22, 2020
345
This is absolutely true for me. I know not everyone is bothered by their scars, but I abhor mine.
I am a fairly secretive person, and I hate that I can't choose whether or not to disclose my history of self-harm. My body does it for me. I chose discreet locations, so most people have no idea... but there are medical situations where they can't be hidden.
As stupid as it sounds, part of me also hates the fact that when I die, they'll invariably end up in the autopsy report (should one be performed against my wishes)... an embarrassing little footnote to my suicide, on record for all eternity.

These are things I think/feel too.
 
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Rue89

Rue89

Visionary
Feb 10, 2020
2,726
I think it depends on the reason you're cutting. If it's to make yourself suffer then that's not good. For me personally, I do it when my anxiety is really high. It helps to lower it. I think it's that the pain helps snap me back to reality. While it's not the best coping skills I figure it's better than suffering with the anxiety.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
I'm not a cutter but I have read about it and read it can be a symptom of borderline personality. Has anyone ever been diagnosed with that who cuts?
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
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Deleted member 19654

Deleted member 19654

Working towards recovery.
Jul 9, 2020
1,627
Thanks, I think they diagnose anyone who cuts as borderline, but I'm not positive. I wish I understood it more.
I imagine it's something that is common amongst those with BPD but not everyone who self harms is borderline. For example, I'm not borderline, I'm just depressed
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,402
I haven't done it since 2012 (did it on impulse then), and I do not feel the urge to do it anymore. I was an occassional cutter in my teens. I hate the scars and I do not want new ones.
 
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Shades of Grey

Shades of Grey

Student
Jun 17, 2020
183
Thanks, I think they diagnose anyone who cuts as borderline, but I'm not positive. I wish I understood it more.

As Maxtothemax said, while cutting is common among those with BPD, it's not exclusive to it.

I don't have BPD, and neither does my friend with a history of cutting. (Depression, anxiety, and eating disorders over here.)
 
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LivingDeadGirl

LivingDeadGirl

Member
Sep 4, 2020
41
I've cut since I was about 14, I'm 34 now. I have scars that shock people but seem normal to me. I know it's something I shouldn't be doing, but it's how I cope and if Im being honest, how I cry out for help. I got drunk the other night and painted my walls red, fucked up right? Two decades of this and I've never bled out (I've tried), I'm just a freak with a severely scarred body trying to destroy it more. It's never enough and makes living even harder. Yes I want to ctb but all I've done is make the time I have left soooooo much worse.
 
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TheSomebody

TheSomebody

...
Sep 28, 2020
283
no, but when i'm really sad i like to punch things. I've punched a mirror and ripped my fist all over, but I'm fine.
 
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